Blast Off!'s back, all right!

I heard there was another bad video contest brewing over at First Draft. Okay, so their battle is holiday-related ... fine: consider this one based on Halloween. Kind of like a bad Thriller knockoff (as opposed to a good one?)

Sure, it's no Separate Ways (Worlds Apart), but it's appropriate for the return of this crappy blog. Just check this post's title.

Anyway, enjoy this stomach-churning flashback to the '90s:

Hey, BSB, thanks also for the shout-out to my 1-dash-10 Buccaneers. Diggin' the Hardy Nickerson replica jersey....

P.S. Don't lick that casket! You don't know where that casket's been!

Coffee with the enemy

Okay, the title is a little harsh ... really, I'm kidding. Mostly. ;)

But I took a few minutes this morning to swing by Pensacola's landmark diner, the Coffee Cup, for, well, a cup of coffee with GOP U.S. Senate candidate Marco Rubio. I didn't have time to snag any photographic evidence for you -- yes, I know, a dedicated DFH blogger would have gotten there on time -- but I did have an opportunity to introduce myself to the former state House speaker and chat for a brief time just before he departed, and at least I livetweeted the encounter. So there.

I'm not sure how many people were at the Coffee Cup specifically to see Rubio and I can't say whether folks were there but left before I arrived. I saw perhaps a dozen individuals there, including several reporters plus a crew from a local TV station, who wouldn't otherwise have stopped in for the restaurant's renowned breakfast today but for the candidate's visit. But he was working the room like a champ and, given Pensacola's conservatism, on which I frequently have commented here, I'm sure he felt right at home.

Seriously, although (as I said to Marco today) he and I disagree on essentially everything -- even his beloved Gators -- I wanted to welcome him to Pensacola (after all, it's still my home for a few more days) and compliment him on what I believe has been a hell of a good campaign thus far. Marco and I have communicated some on Twitter over the last few months, and he was kind enough to reiterate that he found this blog "interesting" even though we disagree. In the interest of bipartisanship, he also observed that a close friend of his is Democratic attorney general candidate Dan Gelber; I smiled and responded that I could identify with that, since I'm dating a Republican. As he left, Marco jovially expressed the hope that we could agree on one thing sometime. Let's see .... he's a right-wing Republican and a Gators and Dolphins fan. Nope, not likely. (I kid, I kid!)

The larger point, though, is that I was sincere in my compliments on his campaign. No one seems to give Rubio much of a chance against the political juggernaut of Charlie Crist, but I have disagreed with that assessment for months now. As early as last May, I said that Rubio had a decent shot against Crist, and his strategy has been, to my mind, pretty much perfect: focus on the party faithful, generally extremists who are disillusioned with Crist's perceived moderate stances on issues like accepting federal stimulus money and being seen with President Obama (the horror!), and enhance name recognition by handily winning county Republican straw polls and collecting the resulting headlines in the press. Moreover, who are the people who dominate primary voting? Party loyalists, of course -- precisely the kind of people who will vote for Rubio in the Senate primary next year.

Besides all that, there increasingly is a general feeling in the state, among Democrats and Republicans alike, that Charlie Crist is a failure as governor. He wavers between moderation and extremism, properly accepting much-needed federal stimulus money on the one hand and then selling out Florida's precious natural resources on the other. As soon as he does one sensible thing, like welcome President Obama to Florida last February, he has to do something moronic like snub the president the next time around to show Republicans he's "one of them." I don't give Republicans credit for much (except destroying America's economy, running Florida's public education system into the ground, etc.), but I'll say this: they know that Charlie's a waffler. And they like the straightforward (albeit wingnutty) approach that Marco Rubio takes. Plus, I have to admit: Marco seems like a pretty nice guy as well -- for a Gator/Dolphin fan Republican, anyway. (Again, I kid!)

I should add that it was a nice surprise to see the Miami Herald's Beth Reinhard again, after our panel discussion at the Florida Democratic Party convention earlier this month. She asked me what I thought of Rubio's campaign, and I answered that, for the reasons noted above, rank-and-file Republicans (read: wingnuts) more and more are looking at Rubio as a legitimate challenger to Crist; as someone to carry the "conservative" banner on their behalf. Do I think Rubio, if he were to win the GOP nomination, could beat Kendrick Meek in the general election? Of course not -- he'd get stomped because Florida as a whole is looking forward politically, not backward. But I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Republican U.S. Senate nomination in 2010 is not a done deal for Charlie Crist. And as national news media are beginning to see, Marco Rubio is a candidate worth watching.

A representative sample of the right-wing response to President Obama's speech today

Yeah, I'd say that pretty much sums up the deranged wingnuttery leading up to today's speech. But now that it's over, I only have one question: Is our children socialist?

(Video by Mark, who was a high school classmate of mine. And, yes, he is being satirical.)

Last day for Florida Netroots Awards nominations

I know, I know, you keep saying you're going to nominate Blast Off! and Blast Off! Radio submit your nominations to recognize all the great Florida blogs and bloggers, but you just haven't gotten around to doing it.

Well, today's the deadline. I did mine the other day, or at least some of them -- I'll do more tonight, I hope. In the meantime, what are you waiting for? Soon it's going to be too late ... and I'll have only you you'll have only yourself to blame.

Here are all the details. Go to it.

Random thought

I see NBC hired Jenna Bush Hager as a correspondent on the Today Show.

I kind of think they hired the wrong Bush sister.

A graphical message to all the Obama-hating wingnuts

Yeah, that pretty much sums up my feelings.

(courtesy Printfection.com, where you can get this image on a T-shirt; h/t to Alli via Twitter, who also gave us the immortal phrase, "Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.")

NASCAR at the White House

Yesterday, President Obama hosted 2008 NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson and several other drivers and luminaries of the sport at the White House. The event ostensibly was to honor Johnson's championship as well as NASCAR generally, but I think I know what was really going through their minds:

L to R: NASCAR drivers Carl Edwards, Clint Bowyer, Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart;
President Obama, Jimmie Johnson
(click image for larger version)

Damon Weaver gets his wish

Congratulations are in order once again for Pahokee's favorite budding journalist, Damon Weaver. Yesterday the 11-year-old got what he'd been after for almost a year: an exclusive interview with President Obama.

The 11-year-old's fame is increasing now that he finally scored an interview with President Barack Obama on Thursday. The 12 questions Damon asked, which focused primarily on education, was filmed as part of an education program that will be broadcast to schools around the nation next month.

The talk shows led the news with a typhoon in Taiwan, health care reform and wildfires in California. And soon, it was Damon's turn. His classic interview was mentioned on Good Morning America and the Today Show.

And Damon was all smiles as he talked with The Early Show Weather Anchor Dave Price about the interview he's called a dream come true. Price told Damon it was an honor to speak with him and he asked Damon what he thought about Obama.

"President Obama is so nice," Damon said. "I expected him to be like he was ... the President is a normal person."

He talked about the President like they were friends, and, well, maybe they are. At the end of yesterday's interview, he called Obama his homeboy.

This is fast becoming Damon's shtick: last year, he proclaimed that then-Senator Joe Biden was his homeboy, too.

Anyway, here's Damon's full interview with the president:

Not to be too self-aggrandizing here, but we knew about Damon before you did ... back when Blast Off! was ensconced in Palm Beach County.* We told you he'd get to the White House eventually ... largely on the strength of this video, which Blast Off! brought your way in December:

Nice work, Damon, and congratulations.

---

* Just teasing ya here. :)

Gun nut bestows "Quote of the Day" honors on Blast Off!

Well, seems I've earned yet another award from the wingnut blogosphere. Following up on last April's Asshat of the Month award from MilitaryPundits.com, now Blast Off! has provided the Quote of the Day from a pro-gun blog called "The View From North Central Idaho," appropriately subtitled "Ramblings of a red-necked, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal on explosives, guns, politics, and sex." (Coincidentally, one of the hotbeds of neo-Nazism in America was until recently Hayden Lake, Idaho, in the north central part of the state. Just saying.)

Apparently Joe the Blogger took umbrage at my characterization of gun nuts as "barrel-strokers with small penises" and responded accordingly. I do have to give him credit for being fairly civil in his response, but I still reserve the right to disagree ... of course:

My primary objective of quoting this guy is to let you know what the other side thinks of you.

My secondary objective is to demonstrate how wrong he is.

The first thing that comes to mind about this guy is, "Does he thinks woman [sic] have infinitely sized guns?" Then I wonder how many penises he has measured and compared to gun sizes. If it were more than one or two my hypothesis would be it was because he was more interested in the penises than in the correlation with gun size. But my leading hypothesis at this time is that he has precisely zero data to support his claims. This is based upon the above collection of data about him. For example:

1. Buying a gun now, such as a so called "assault weapon" that was been banned from new sale to private citizens the last time Democrats controlled Congress, the Senate, and the White House, does "immunize" said buyers. There is no registration of firearms in most states. Hence after a month or two it becomes very unlikely that a judge is going to issue a search warrant for said gun based entirely on a 4473 because without other confirming evidence the owner could have sold or otherwise disposed of the firearm being sought. So, at that point what can they do to remove the gun from circulation?
2. In states where registration has been implemented, such as California, New York, and New Jersey, not to mention all the foreign countries with registration, there have been many examples of the government coming to take the guns. And even without registration guns were forcibly confiscated after hurricane Katrina. To say it won't or can't happen again, particularly when there are people, such as Sinfonian, advocating it is naive or duplicitous.
3. The gun rights community has long been aware of and fought against high taxes on ammunition. For example just on my blog alone you can see concerns over it here, here, here, here, and here.
4. Gross misreading of the Second Amendment? Did he read the Heller decision or just is he just parroting what the Brady Campaign or the Violence Policy Center told him? See also my blog post if you just want a dramatically abridged version of what Scalia said. In other words the highest legal authority in the nation agreed with what us "barrel-strokers with small penises" have been saying about the Second Amendment for decades.

What would be funny if it weren't so tragic is this guy confuses his imagination with reality.--Joe

Oh, Joe, everything is so cut-and-dried with you, isn't it?

First of all, the penis reference was a joke. Kind of like saying that someone who drives a sports car is, you know, compensating for something. Except with gun nuts, the compensation is just a little more phallic. No, seriously, I do think you folks who love guns so much must have something missing in your lives, something that makes you want to have a big ol' weapon at your disposal and, more to the point, resist any efforts to regulate or restrict your -- or anyone's -- access to those weapons. But, naturally, I don't have any data to back that up.

Which leads me to the allegation that I don't have data to back up what I say. First of all, I was giving my opinion -- I don't need "data" for that. However, it is pretty funny to see a wingnut going on about "data" and "facts," since they're usually allergic to both. Still, given the relatively sensible tone of the response, I figure I should respond with some facts of my own:

The statement that buying a gun now "immunizes" buyers is almost perfectly irrelevant to what I said. I said, first, that no one is going to take anyone's guns away. I grant you that point and, indeed, I think it's silly for the pro-gun lobby to prey on the fear of gun owners (which, after all, is why they buy guns in the first place, at least if they're not compensating for something), but I'm not sure what you're trying to immunize against. If it's taxation, as on ammunition, buying more guns isn't going to "immunize" you against that. So while I appreciate the strawman, I think it completely misses the point.

Second, as for the alleged confiscation of guns in states like California, New York, and New Jersey, I do find it interesting that Joe didn't link to any factual sources (reputable or otherwise -- World Net Daily and the NRA's own website are two examples of sources that would not be reputable for this purpose) for such allegations either. If it happened and it didn't make national news or send the NRA screaming over to the nearest federal courthouse, then I'm shocked.* But, more likely, I think it's more fear-mongering, keeping gun owners and lovers worried that someone's going to take away their precious protector. Whatever. Maybe Joe can give us legitimate sources. Or maybe I can Google it. Whatever.

And I responded via comment on Joe's blog regarding the Second Amendment, just as I've done on this blog a number of times. My basic point was that citing Justice Scalia, the Court's most notorious right-wing judicial activist, in support of Second Amendment jurisprudence that went wrong decades ago is incredibly self-serving. The "right" to bear arms is hardly a settled matter, and courts have been batting around that "well-regulated militia" phrase for years. My interpretation of it as a lawyer and amateur constitutional scholar is that it refers to "militia" as a military entity, which necessarily involved the citizenry in the Eighteenth Century but which today, put simply, does not. Moreover, even if one interprets the language to include all citizens, you can't just ignore the "well-regulated" part: the NRA and their sycophantic followers would prefer, though, that guns not be regulated at all. Hardly a "strict construction" of the Constitution there, eh, Justice Scalia?

So, no, Joe, I'm not confusing imagination with reality. Actually, I'm deciding the issue for myself, in my opinion, based on reality -- something the Right might do if it weren't for all those meddling facts.

But thank you for the Quote of the Day honor. I accept it graciously, on behalf of all my fellow DFHs.

---

* Even if there were gun confiscations after Katrina, that would be perfectly acceptable under emergency conditions, via the state's police power. One isolated instance in extraordinary circumstances doesn't logically lead to mass confiscations, especially when you have a president (I mean Obama) who seems to be altogether too disinterested in restricting the so-called right to bear arms.

Life, the universe, and everything

With apologies to Douglas Adams, I just wanted to put up a quick post to say yes, I'm alive, but life, as it all too regularly does, is taking precedence over blogging.

I do have a few posts percolating in my head (former U.S. senator and fervent wingnut Bob Smith, R-N.H., running for the open U.S. Senate seat in Florida? Seriously?), but I'll have to wait a bit to get them into pixelled format. Oh, and I guess this is as good a time to mention that my Florida Bar exam preparation schedule is quite likely to force a cutback in my blogging time. But I'm sure there are at least as many to whom that is good news as those who think it's bad news ...

Anyway, thanks for your patience ... and stay tuned.

Vacation: all I ever wanted

Before I settle into the drudgery of studying for the Florida Bar examination (did I happen to mention that I've decided to explore a return to the law profession ... after 13 years away? I know -- I can't believe it either), I'm taking a little trip with Miss July and our respective kids ... and her sister and her kids ... and her mother ... anyway, suffice to say I'll be fit to be tied tied up for a few days.

I may get a post or two up during my trip, but I'm not going to knock myself out trying to do so. Hey, we all need a break now and then ... and you deserve a break from having to read this sucky blog.

I imagine I'll still be active on Twitter, so if you want to laugh at -- I mean with -- me as I live-tweet selected parts of the trip, I'd love to have you follow me. Should be back to the blog in earnest by the latter part of this week. (Also no Blast Off! Radio tomorrow; I'll post a reminder to that effect tomorrow morning.) Thanks for your patience ...

UPDATE (1:27 pm 6/11/09): Returning to blogging now on Friday? See above ...

Some helpful advice for the Republican Party of Florida

You know, RPOF, you're looking at a real uphill climb in the 2010 elections. I mean, maybe Charlie Crist can get elected to the U.S. Senate on his popularity alone -- provided he can get past the people who dislike him most, you Republicans, in the primary. But beyond that, your candidates look a little, um ... alike.

At a time when the Florida electorate is growing increasingly diverse, the Republican party is gearing up to field an all-male, all-white slate in 2010.

In contrast, the Democratic front-runners for the top of the ticket are U.S. Rep. Kendrick Meek, a 42-year-old African American running for the U.S. Senate, and Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink for governor, who would be the state's first female chief executive. A handful of Hispanic and Jewish Democrats are potentially in the mix for attorney general and chief financial officer.

"It's something I see as an advantage for Florida voters, that the Democratic ticket could end up looking like it represents Florida's population," said Ana Cruz, a top Meek advisor.

The Republican front-runners for statewide office include Gov. Charlie Crist for Senate, Attorney General Bill McCollum for governor, Senate President Jeff Atwater for chief financial officer and U.S. Rep. Adam Putnam for agriculture commissioner. Putnam is the only one of the GOP candidates under 50 years old.

Hmmm ... basically a bunch of old, white men. Should we rename the GOP to the GOML, for "Get Off My Lawn?"

What you need is someone who's not a white man. Say, someone with widespread name recognition ... a history of deeply loyal Republican behavior ... maybe even some past congressional experience.

And I think I have just the candidate for you:


Come on, RPOF: Bring. It. On. (You know you want to ...)

Wingnut logic

Here's an actual tweet I received on Twitter this morning, in response to a debate I'm having there with some (other) wingnut who claims that Fox's "Top 10 Lines" from Dick "Dick" Cheney's speech yesterday includes verifiable facts:


I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

UPDATE (11:16 am 5/22/09): It keeps getting better, folks. From the same tweeter as above:


"It's your opinion they're not true." Well, no -- as I replied, "I said they're NOT FACTS. Therefore, they're neither true nor false. Simple, really." Is it that hard to understand?

And facts can be refuted. Got it.

Never try to argue logic with a wingnut, unless you want to get a headache out of sheer frustration.

No, David Gregory: torture is NOT debatable

Exhibit no. 177 proving that the mainstream corporate media are anything but liberal: yesterday the host of NBC's Meet the Press, David Gregory held an online chat, and my question was chosen for him to answer. I asked (timestamped at 2:11), "Why is debating torture a 'crucial debate to have?' How exactly does it go beyond 'torture is illegal?' "

And here's the response I got from torture-apologist, Cheney-fellator Gregory:

[Sinfonian], because it is too easy to dismiss all these techniques as "torture." Were all the techniques torture? The debate to have is how do we treat our enemies in a new threat environment and can you defeat an enemy like this without compromising the values of the country?

Can there be any more blatant indication that Gregory is in the tank for the Bush crime syndicate? The one incontrovertible fact that he and his buddies on the Right seem to miss is that TORTURE IS ILLEGAL. Period. And there can be no legitimate argument against the fact that, for example, waterboarding IS torture. Indeed, the outcry against waterboarding and sleep deprivation and the other "techniques" used isn't whether or not they constitute torture -- of course they do. The "debate" actually is whether or not torture is permissible, and if so under what circumstances.

So, Gregory gets the issue exactly wrong. And because not only is torture morally wrong, it is not permissible under American or international law, there quite simply can be NO debate. The very fact that Gregory and his peers in the MSM have created this faux-debate out of whole cloth should make clear to all but the most obtuse observers that our media have abdicated their responsibilities as journalists and have become, in the truest sense of the word, propagandists of the worst kind.

Incidentally, I asked Gregory one other question that didn't get selected: "Have you ever considered being a contestant on 'Dancing With the Stars?' " I'm sure Dancin' Dave would be a big hit, given his brilliant 2007 performance with his pal Karl Rove (Gregory is, appropriately, to Rove's right in the video):

Another great moment in journalism. I mean, "journalism."

Discovering the Rubiosaurus

Scientists this week uncovered a previously unknown species of dinosaur through fossilized remains announcing their candidacy for the U.S. Senate in Florida. Christened the Rubiosaurus, this new species is characterized by prehistoric attitudes, outdated viewpoints, and extinct perspectives ... to wit:

Rubio, a Miami-area lawyer, left the House last year after serving two years as speaker. He is a charismatic public speaker whose conservative message is well-received at Republican events. He has spent the past few months appearing at Republican dinners and other gatherings, including a "tea party" tax protest last month.

He has been critical of the federal stimulus plan and federal bailouts, saying Washington shouldn't be as heavily involved in the economy. He also says the current administration is using taxes to redistribute wealth.

Rubio also said he wants to push for a constitutional amendment that would require the federal government to balance its budget.

Rubio believes some Republicans are becoming indistinguishable from Democrats.

Yeah, those tea parties were rousing successes, weren't they? That's okay, Marco: just keep saying that Obama is a socialist and push for more deregulation, since that worked so well during the last adminstration, and the Obama=socialist charges stick like eggs to Teflon. This guy may be only 38, but politically he's a true dinosaur.

It's kind of funny to see Rubio throw his hat* in the race before Gov. Crist has made his decision public ... Rubio vowed not to be scared of Crist, but it does seem like a Pyrrhic gesture at this point, given that Crist's Senate candidacy seems pretty likely (at least from where I sit).

Hey, Marco, did you ever consider that Republicans may be aligning themselves more with Democratic principles because most Americans prefer Democratic principles? But, you know, good luck with your campaign. You're gonna need it ...

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* While typing that, I initially wrote "throw his hate in the race." Guess I need an appointment with Dr. Freud ...

Blast Off! Radio PRIMETIME: One lump or two?

NOTE SPECIAL TIME FOR TODAY'S SHOW: 7pm EASTERN

Last week I was just a sucky blogger with a webradio show. This week, I'm a sucky blogger with a webradio show and a video that got some air time on teevee. Really, not much difference.

And indeed, longtime listeners (both of you) will continue to enjoy all the same snark and all the same substance that you've come to dread expect from Blast Off! Radio. (Only difference is that once again, I must change the show's time today from its traditional 4pm slot to 7pm Eastern, due to my travel schedule. Thanks for understanding.)

Of course, we'll talk at some length about the Great Teabaggers' Balls (the events, I mean, not the anatomy), both specifically with regard to the video but also more generally: what kind of impact, if any, have the teabaggers had? Is it at all embarrassing to have drawn nationwide attendance significantly below that of, say, the Million Man March (and perhaps approaching that of three typical college football games)? And most importantly, have the teabaggers' scrotums healed yet? I hear the chafing can be a bitch ... maybe we can ask the Pensacola Republican Club president about that?

There has been other news as well, and we'll talk about that, too. How about the indictments of former Florida House speaker Ray Sansom (R-you surprised?) and Northwest Florida State College president Bob Richburg? Hey, Bob, if you lie down with pigs, better be ready to get dirty, know what I mean? We'll also discuss the latest torture revelations and try to figure out who thought that the 183rd waterboarding of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed would have any different results than the previous 182 times. And we'll make even more fun of Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R-Brylcreem), whose threats to have his state secede from the U.S. have made him and his hair even more of a laughingstock than before. (You want different presidents? Fine -- be my guest!)

As usual, your calls, chats, and emails make the show work, so please make plans to join me tonight at a special time, 7pm Eastern. Here are the deets for my peeps:

TIME: 7:00 pm Eastern TONIGHT

Click here to listen

Call in number: (646) 716-7543

E-mail: blastoffradio-at-gmail-dot-com

But if anyone calls and asks me, "What's Keith Olbermann really like?," I'm cutting your mic! I mean it!

More from the Pensacola Tea Party: Maybe they're just warming up?

This is basically a "teaser" video because I have a number of other pictures and videos to post, but I just don't have time right now. I'm spending the weekend with my kids, you know, so I'm trying to shoehorn in whatever blogtime I can finagle in the midst of all that. Priorities, you understand ... forgive me, please.

Anyway, for starters, check out the enthusiasm (or, to be accurate, the lack thereof) of the gathering in downtown Pensacola last Wednesday. This also gives you an idea of the size of the turnout ... in short, "modest" would be kind.

If this is indicative of the "tea party movement" overall, I think America can rest easy.

"Come on, you guys, let's keep it going!" BWAHAHAHA!

2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? Ayn Rand, Ayn Rand, goooooooooo Galt!

Okay, they didn't chant that last one ... but they should have.

Hoping to have all video and pictures up by late tonight. Thanks for your patience.

You can't please everyone

Everyone has been so unbelievably (and, really, unnecessarily) complimentary of me these last few days that Miss July has joked with me more than once that she's going to have to take me down a notch or two.

Well, MJ, you can stand down, because "mariosavio" at Daily Kos has taken care of that for you. Here's what mariosavio said earlier this afternoon over at the so-called Great Orange Satan:

Nice job. But a little desperate for attention? (0+ / 0-)

"Yeah, I'm the guy..."

Thanks for the transcript of your speech.

You did a good job, but by posting here & bragging that you risked your life to do this you have only proven that you are desperation for attention & affirmation.

Are you really that insecure that you need pats on the back from us Kossacks? Come on, you're better than the GOP.

Wow. Thanks, Mario (may I call you Mario?), for your thoughts. You'll permit me an opportunity to respond, of course ...? Here's what I said in reply at dKos:

I beg your pardon? (0 / 0)

I never thought I risked my life at the time (only later, when my girlfriend scolded me for that reason), and I only wrote the diary because several people asked me to do so on that morning's Open Thread, where the video first appeared. I wouldn't have done so otherwise.

Yeah, I'm insecure, though. Desperate for attention, too. That must be it. Thanks for saving me thousands in psychotherapy.

Seriously, d00d. That was a pretty dickish thing to say. Help me out, readers -- am I wrong about that? Even if you think that I'm just tooting my own horn, would you say that on my diary comments? Would it be fun, or sporting, to deflate me? I mean, unless you're a dick ...

Mocking the teabaggers, part deux

So before all the video hubbub happened, I was having some fun on Twitter with all those crazed teabaggers. I've edited out the Twitterese and compiled some of the entries in the series for you here. Maybe it's worth a chuckle or two ...

---

Tea Party Etiquette, by Sinfonian

• If you teabaggers happen to see a nonwhite person nearby, it's not polite to point and gawk.


• Help your fellow teabaggers at a long rally by bringing a lotion or salve for scrotal chafing.


• Beware of teabaggers with tubes of Ben Gay. A silly prank? Sure, unless you're the victim.


• Two words: breath mints.


• It's OK to lie to fellow teabaggers about your name and profession. (Thanks to Joe the Plumber for the tip)


• Considerate teabaggers don't neglect the taint.


• Three words: Bring Extra Kneepads. (Or is that four words?) Fellow teabaggers will go nuts thanking you.


• Smart teabaggers are prepared teabaggers. Have a good supply of toothpicks handy. (Thanks to Dick Armey for that tip!)


• Armey adds another tip: Good teabaggers always go shaft deep. This isn't the time to be conservative.


• Polite teabaggers always cuddle afterwards.


• Smart teabaggers will keep a towel handy for "premature Beckgasms." Hey, it can happen to anyone.

---

Again, you can read 'em all -- if you can stomach it -- here.

DFH blogger speaks at Pensacola Tea Party ... and lives to tell the tale

If you were following my livetweeting today from the Pensacola Tea Party, then you already know: I gave a little speech. Hey, I'm a sucker for Open Mic Night ... what can I say?

Seriously -- I didn't realize there would be an opportunity to speak, but they were practically begging folks to come up and say a few words ... and I was right there ... well, with apologies for the picture quality, now you can see and hear for yourself:

I enjoyed the part when I asked, "How many here make less than $250,000 a year?" and there's a big cheer ... then it goes quiet again when I tell them they'll pay less in taxes under the Obama plan. That's about when the murmuring started ...

My favorite part, though, is as I continue to gripe about the years from 2000 to 2008 (yeah, it's '01 to '09, but you have to "speak to your audience," y'know), and then I hit them with "place the blame where it belongs: squarely on the Republican Party and the Bush administration," they pretty much lost their shit at that point. That was fun.

But, like all good villains, I reveled in the booing just a bit ... although I should have closed with "Enjoy the rest of your teabagging!" Maybe I should have paid more attention in rehearsal ...

(Special thanks to Sid for acting as cameraman.)

UPDATE (7:17 pm 4/15/09): Lots more pictures and video to share, but I probably won't get to it until late tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for your patience.

UPDATE (1:20 pm 4/16/09): Well, um, maybe late tonight? Hard to say. Real life is happening, you know? Out to do stuff today and tonight, then on the road tomorrow. I'll get those other things posted ASAP, though.

Thanks again for your patience, and for all your kind words here and elsewhere. I really appreciate it.

UPDATE (8:28 am 4/18/09): Finally starting to get more stuff posted, including the firsthand account of how the video happened, Olbermann and Garofalo weighing in on the video, interviews on the Richard Hunter Show and PaxLive, and more raw pics and video. There will be much more throughout the weekend, so please continue to check in when you get a chance. Thanks!

UPDATE (1:50 am 4/19/09): Why the hell am I still awake, especially when it's almost 3:00 am in the Eastern Time Zone, where I am as I write this?

Anyway, the emcee of the teabaggers' ball, Pensacola Republican Club president Troy Schoonover, evidently isn't too happy with me. Check out what he emailed me Saturday night, and my response thereto. We're having some fun now!