Random thought

I see NBC hired Jenna Bush Hager as a correspondent on the Today Show.

I kind of think they hired the wrong Bush sister.

Blast Off! Radio 2:00 pm EDT today: celebrating Jenna's wedding

Mazel tov to the happy couple. Okay, now let's get to the real dirt.

I've had just about enough of the Hillary Clinton campaign, and I think I'm going to have a good old-fashioned rant today just to get all that off my chest. If you think Sen. Clinton deserves to be the nominee, listen in, call in, and convince me. Because we really need to aim our rhetorical campaign guns at Huggy Bear, while there's still time to decimate him.

Oh, I'm sure I'll take a loving look back at Mother's Day, we'll share some laughs about the pitiful state of the Republican Party, and maybe I'll even bring up some thoughts about invading Myanmar. (Yeah, I know -- I had the same reaction.)

Anyway, I really want you to be a part of the show, so here's how you do it:

TIME: 2:00 pm Eastern TODAY

Click here to listen

Call in number: (646) 716-7543

AIM: blastoffradio

E-mail: blastoffradio-at-gmail-dot-com

Get those calls and e-mails in early -- a half hour goes by quickly!

And according to now-revered Blast Off! Radio tradition, if you don't listen, the puppy gets it:

Write what you know

Apparently Jenna Bush's new children's book has an interesting, um, twist. Probably from personal experience, I imagine.

Don't take my word for it. Go read the excerpts.

(h/t the l&t watertiger)

Fun with NotJenna

Traveling today, so in the aftermath of Jenna's engagement, I thought I'd share a fun excerpt from an essay by New York Times columnist Coco Henson Scales from back in 2004. Ms. Scales spent time as a hostess in a trendy New York City bar, and she encountered a number of celebs, including the First Twins.

Enjoy this revealing portrait of Barbara Bush the Younger:

ONE cold night I am working the lounge when a waitress grabs me by the arm. "A guy wants to talk to you," she says.

I assume it's a complaint.

"This guy," the waitress says, pulling me toward a tall, heavy-set man. He is clasping his hands and leaning his head to one side in a pleading gesture. He is going to ask me if I will let his friends in, I see.

"I'm expecting Jenna and Barbara Bush in about half an hour," he says. "They're going to arrive with several of their friends, but they're not going to stay long, they're just going to have a few drinks and leave. Is this O.K.?"

My first response is surprise — Barbara Bush is coming here? Jenna I would expect, but not her grandmother. Jenna's antics in bars have been well publicized, and it does not seem unusual to me that she would pass thorough our door, or any door for that matter where there is a party. But Barbara Bush? She's got to be 80.

"Yes, the twins. Barbara and Jenna," the man responds quickly. Of course. I feel embarrassed that I know only the one daughter's name.

"They're just going to come for a little while and have a few drinks," the advance man says. I am agitated because the lounge is bottle-service only, and serving cocktails is more work for the bartender and waitress, for less money. "How many are you expecting?" I ask. I let my irritation show.

"I don't know. Maybe . . . eight?"

"What?" I say indignantly, throwing up my hands.

"Please," he responds. "They're already on their way. Please." Yes, begging is good, I think. In lieu of money, I accept pleading. I fold my arms. "I don't know," I say.

"Please." He's on to my game and sticks out his lower lip playfully.

"Yeah, all right," I say, bored now. I suppose it can't hurt to have the Bush daughters here. Not 20 minutes later, I see him leading a dozen people inside.

I rush to meet them and he introduces me. "Barbara, this is Coco."

I smile and Barbara Bush smiles wider. "Hi! How are you?" she says in a very loud voice. She immediately wraps her arms around me. "Oh my God," she says enthusiastically, "I love your shirt. Guys, look at her shirt." I am wearing a black turtleneck. Her friends look and nod approvingly. She surveys the room and steps very close to my face. For a minute I think she is going to kiss me. "Oh my God, this place is cool!" she shouts. "How long has it been here?" Even though the music is loud, her voice is much more forceful than needed to be heard.

"Since August," I say.

"It's so nice!" she says, adding, "You have pretty eyes."

I look around and spot Ariana and grab her arm. "Make sure that you give them a round on us," I tell her. "And, um, Barbara is a bit of a close-talker if you know what I mean."

"Oh yeah?" Ariana says. That is all she ever says. I could confess all my sins to her, tell her I slaughtered my entire family and she would respond, "Oh yeah?" I am irritated that Ariana doesn't share my excitement about the Bush girls being in the house, and so I snap, "I see empty glasses on the tables."

From behind me I hear a loud voice. "Thank you, this is great, really." I turn around and there is Barbara, drink in hand, so close that if I just thrust my lips out a little we would touch. She is smiling widely, and I smile, too. Her friendliness and lack of pretense make it impossible not to like her.

"I love this song!" Barbara exclaims, grabbing my wrists and starting to wave my arms around. She throws her shoulders back and grinds her hips. It is the part of the evening when the D.J. goes old school with Guns N' Roses. For people who work here every night, this is the saddest point.

Fifteen minutes later, I step outside to make sure the entrance is swept, and there I see Barbara bent over, hands on her knees, out on the sidewalk. "Are you all right?" I ask. Please, I think, don't let me see her throw up.

She spits on the pavement. "Yeah, I just needed some fresh air," she says. She stands and I see her forehead is damp with sweat. It must be 20 degrees out, and windy. I want to go back into the warm restaurant, but I stay with her.

I massage her back for a moment. Finally she lets out a loud burp, mumbles, "Excuse me" and returns inside.

I always did think NotJenna was the cute one.

Your liberal media at work

Yeah, "liberal." Pfft.

Awaiting word on the José Padilla verdict and watching the stock market tank yet again, CNN.com runs a red "BREAKING NEWS" banner announcing ... Jenna Bush's engagement.

Don't pay attention to this significant constitutional issue ... and don't worry about the economy ("Bush boom," my ass) ... because WE'VE GOT A WHITE HOUSE WEDDING TO PLAN!!!1!!one!

Kind of a, um, convenient time to make such an announcement, don't you think?

click image for larger version

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: George W. Bush

It's always a treat when you can laugh at the misfortune of Drunky McStagger himself. And today is even better, because there are two, two, two reasons to laugh and point at The Deciderer today.

First, it seems that the value of a picture with Drunky has declined just a tad:

Gas prices may be up, but there's something that's apparently a little cheaper these days: A photo with President Bush. Yesterday, Bush headlined a fundraiser for the New Jersey state GOP, where donors could pay $5,000 to pose for a photo with the Commander in Chief. Expensive photo op, right? Well, that's actually cheaper that what donors paid just a year ago for a grip and grin with Bush. Last summer, GOP officials around the country charged at least $10,000 a pop for presidential photo op, a bargain compared to the $25,000-a-flash Bush commanded during some Republican National Committee fund-raisers back in 2000 and 2004.

At this rate, next year Drunky will be paying you to have your picture taken with him. (He couldn't pay me enough ... but I digress.)

Meanwhile, Jenna Bush (a/k/a NotJenna's Sister or The Other Drunk One) is releasing a book. That's right, apparently there's one descendant of Poppy and Bar who can read and write (but this is probably the only one).

Jenna writes precious little about herself, as her book, Ana's Story: A Journey of Hope (right), chronicles the life of an orphan Jenna encountered during her work with UNICEF in Latin America. It's aimed at teens, so I guess you can think of it as, say, Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, but with unprotected sex, AIDS, and teen pregnancy. Or something like that.

Anyway, the schadenfreude for Drunky comes from one of the messages of Jenna's (or is it NotJenna's?) book:

With such an earnest subject, Ms. Bush has done well to deflect criticism from those who might point out that her prose—comparing Ana's life to a song, for example ("To me her words and her life are like a song—a song of hope and resiliance. I met with Ana for more than six months and listened to the melody and lyrics of her life."), or the complete and utter lack of any details of place or setting—is, well, not particularly good. And while Ana's message—abuse is bad, AIDS is a reality—seems obvious to the point of stupidity, the book's pro-condom/pro-education message is a kamikaze-like leap from Daddy's nest.

"Daddy's nest," of course, promotes abstinence and forbids the distribution of condoms as well as financial aid to foreign agencies that provide abortions.

So, Drunky, how does it feel? Your presidency is a laughingstock and a failure of historic proportions, and even your own daughter (one or the other of them, anyway) doesn't buy your abstinence-only shtick. And so I take great pleasure in congratulating you, "Mr. President" -- today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Meanwhile, Jenna and NotJenna order another round of mojitos

Prince Harry is going to Iraq after all.

Commanders reportedly had reconsidered their decision to allow the prince to fight in Iraq for fear he would become a target of insurgents and his presence could endanger other soldiers. Harry's regiment, the Blues and Royals, is due to begin a six-month tour of duty in Iraq within weeks.

Over the past two weeks, newspapers have reported threats by Iraqi insurgents to kill or kidnap the prince, including claims his photograph had been widely circulated among militants. Military chiefs acknowledge that Harry would be an attractive target and that his presence could lead to a surge in attacks on British forces.

Gen. Sir Richard Dannatt said the decision would be kept under review, but he hoped his statement would end media speculation on Harry's deployment.

I hope, as I hope with all soldiers, that Harry will be safe. His decision to pursue a military career, and to engage in combat as part of the normal course of his service, just makes our chickenhawk leadership -- not to mention the Cheetos-stained right-wing trolls, pundits, and bloggers who continue to prop up this unnecessary war -- look even more cowardly.