Damon vs. Giuliani in Palm Beach County

It was an interesting juxtaposition of political and cultural icons yesterday in Palm Beach County, as actor Matt Damon, stumping for Obama, stopped by his candidate's West Palm Beach headquarters while, in the small, affluent community of Lake Clarke Shores, our old pal Rudy "This Can Only Be Good News For" Giuliani knocked on doors and, with the always-plastic Cindy McCain, visited with our alleged local version of Joe the Plumber.

"We hear it from everybody we talk to. They say to us ... 'John McCain's got to be elected, because if Obama gets elected we're going to be ruined. We're going to be ruined with this share-the-wealth program,'" said Giuliani.

For proof, Giuliani offered Tom Kohlwaies Jr., a volunteer whom the McCain campaign dubbed the area's "Joe the Plumber." The former New York mayor threw an arm around Kohlwaies and presented him to reporters.

"Me and my father own a small landscaping business and we're concerned that we fall in the tax bracket that most people, or I guess liberals, would say that we're rich," said Kohlwaies, who said his business brings in a little over $250,000 per year. "We're afraid that our taxes will go up if Mr. Obama's elected."

Can anyone spot the pandering in that last passage? Here's a hint: there are two examples.

Okay, first, "if Obama gets elected we're going to be ruined?" Well, for one thing, my Republican friends, you're already ruined -- or, if you're not, it's not going to be the Obama administration's policies that do it. Nope -- although you may be too dumb or obstinate to see it, it's your own party's policies, starting with Drunky McStagger himself, that have sent you on the path to ruin. Look, when Alan fucking Greenspan, of all people, who'd rather nail Ayn Rand than his own wife (NBC shill Andrea Mitchell), admits that, well, maybe the invisible hand of the free market really was too busy jerking itself off to avoid the current economic freefall, then you've pretty much lost that fight, folks.

Moreover, if all you rich fuckers are going to be "ruined" if Obama is elected, then I'm doubly glad I cast my vote for Sens. Obama and Biden last week. Serves you selfish bastards right, frankly ... because then maybe some people you've been ignoring -- the unemployed, the downtrodden, the homeless, the minorities -- might actually have a fighting chance for survival in this country.

Anyway, secondly, let's take a look at our new friend, Tom Kohlwaies, Jr. Mighty convenient, don't you think, that Mr. Kohlwaies' business allegedly earns "a little over $250,000 per year" -- or just above the threshold where Obama's tax increases theoretically would kick in. Well, maybe the GOP vetted this guy a little more carefully than they did Joe the Plumber ... but the theory still holds: if you're making more than $250,000 a year, you can afford to take a little greater hit in taxes in order to repair some of the economic, moral, and cultural damage wrought by the Republicans over the past decade and a half. So, in short, Mr. Kohlwaies: get over it. (And work on your English grammar while you're at it.)

Meanwhile, Matt Damon popped by Obama HQ as a sort of thank-you to the hard-working staffers and volunteers there:

Damon talked of how he recently visited a soup kitchen in San Francisco where most of the people there had homes and jobs, but were still struggling to get by.

Damon urged people to urge people to get out and vote early.

Juxtaposition? More like Good vs. Evil, if you ask me. And the Good people are the ones who want to help others, not just themselves.

Well, thanks for the pandering, Rudy -- but I think we'll just take the wheel of this country now and try to get it out of the ditch into which you and your cronies have driven it.

Good news for Giuliani

Un-fucking-believable.

NBC sought to interview each of the vice presidential candidates immediately after tonight's debate to get their takes on how their guys did.

Joe Biden was there, but according to Brian Williams, "we extended an invitation to Gov. Palin, which was declined. Instead, the GOP has made available to us former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani."

They're not just hiding Sarah Palin, they've got her farther under wraps than Osama bin Laden. And Rudy in her place? Wow.

It's fascinating to watch Huggy Bear's campaign implode right before our eyes, isn't it, my friends?

Prom night

Wow. It's 9/11 again already?

I hope Rudy Giuliani has a nice dress picked out for the Fear n' Terror Ball.

Bill Maher says "fuck" a lot

Went to see Bill Maher last night at the Trojan/Rolling Stone "Evolve America" show, which I still think they should have called the "Condom-Nation." I've never been a HUGE Maher fan, but he was pretty fucking funny. Only thing was, I think he hated the audience generally, because he only did a 40-minute set and he was plagued by a few hecklers -- they weren't unfriendly to him exactly, but they'd obviously partaken in the 8:00-9:30 open bar a wee bit too much.

Anyway, I wrote down a few of his best lines (these are paraphrased):

"Of course John McCain wants to live in the White House. He's looking for a really good managed care facility."

"It was going to be an historic election either way. You had three traditionally underrepresented groups involved: Obama for the blacks, Hillary for the women, and McCain for the undead."

"What's wrong with women thinking Barack Obama is hot? I mean, who doesn't want to fuck hope?"

"The flap about Obama lifting some of a speech from Clinton was ridiculous. I mean, Clinton got it from Kennedy, Kennedy got it from FDR, FDR got it from Teddy Roosevelt, Roosevelt got it from Lincoln ... Lincoln got it from McCain."

"Barack Obama bowled so badly, Ann Coulter offered to let him use one of her balls."

"McCain's health care plan is called 'Go Fuck Yourself Plus.' "

"How about the minister who died of auto-erotic asphyxiation, wearing two rubber suits with a dildo shoved up his ass and his hands tied behind his back? Or, as Republicans call it, 'natural causes.' "

"Mormonism isn't weirder than Christianity. Christianity is just older."

"Sure, Rudy Giuliani dressed up like a woman, but how about when the fundamentalists found out Mitt Romney was Mormon? I mean, that's weirder than dressing up like a woman. They take batshit crazy to a whole new level."

Maher mentioned Blowin' Bob Allen, too, which was cool. Although he didn't call him "Blowin' Bob." Oh well.

D.C. Madam commits suicide by irony

I don't know ... I just find it odd and ironic (and, of course, sad) that Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the so-called "D.C. Madam" who, among other things, publicized the diaper-wearing proclivities of Sen. David Vitter (R-La.), chose to kill herself today in -- of all places -- America's Wang™.

Tarpon Springs detectives said handwritten notes were found that describe the victim's intention to take her life, and foul play does not appear to be involved.

Palfrey (left), 52, was staying with her mother Blanche at the Sun Valley Estates Mobile Home Park, 167 Cypress Ave. Police said Blanche Palfrey told them she woke up after taking a nap and began to search for her daughter. After noticing a three-wheeled bicycle on her lawn that was normally stored in the shed, she opened the shed's door and saw her daughter's body hanging from a metal pipe, police said. She called paramedics at about 10:52 a.m.

I'm sorry for Palfrey's death, but it's a shame we may never know the truth about all the Republicans who undoubtedly appear on her list.

In other words, this can only be good news for Rudy Giuliani.

UPDATE (3:43 pm 5/1/08): Was it suicide? Some are skeptical. Now, where's my tin-foil hat? (h/t the L&T watertiger)

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: the owner of this building

This one just makes me laugh every time I pass by.

It's an office building beside the onramp to southbound I-95 at Atlantic Avenue in Pompano Beach. I first noticed it back in 2002, when it proclaimed "JEB BUSH FOR GOVERNOR," and I remember thinking how odd that was ... maybe just leased advertising space or something, or else campaign headquarters.

Nope.

In 2004, it read "GEORGE BUSH FOR PRESIDENT," and in 2006, "CHARLIE CRIST FOR GOVERNOR." I guess the owner was feeling cocky or something, because this year, the perfect record was broken -- and in no uncertain terms:

I'm sure the non-Republican tenants just love this place ... good thing there's still plenty of room for this deluded soul to emblazon the building with "HUGGY BEAR FOR PRESIDENT."

In the meantime, congratulations to the building owner, because today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Rudy Giuliani

So long, Mr. 9/11. I'm posting this at 11:09 just for you, pal.

The laughter will echo long into the night ...

Counting the minutes ...

... until Rudy Giuliani finally drops out of the GOP race. Shouldn't be long now ...

The honorable thing to do

On Monday, one particularly moronic MSNBC talking head said that John Edwards should drop out of the presidential campaign if he does poorly tomorrow in South Carolina because "it would be the honorable thing to do." Obviously, this "pundit" lacks brain function beyond only those basic requirements for life, because he clearly has no higher brain activity of any kind.

You want to talk about hypocrisy of the press? Where are the pundits saying that Rudy Giuliani should drop out because he has yet to reach double digits in any state? What about the Candidate for the Insane, Ron Paul? He's far less of a factor in his race than Edwards is in his ... so why's he still taken seriously? Just because Paul can persuade a bunch of too-clever-by-half college students and disaffected fringe political junkies and anti-war advocates* to follow him off the cliff doesn't mean that he deserves a seat at the table anymore.

On behalf of all sentient Americans everywhere (and "pundits," too), I hereby call on Ron Paul and Rudy Giuliani to drop out of the presidential campaign. It would be the honorable thing to do.

---

* Yeah, I'm anti-war, too but, by way of clarification, I'm not a racist insane douchebag like Ron Paul.

Brains!! BRAINS!!!

As long as we're looking at pictures today, and since this here is a Florida blog, here's one uncovered (pun intended) by the lovely and talented watertiger of Dependable Renegade:

Scrambled eggs

Remember how Rudy Giuliani was putting all his eggs in Florida's basket?

Well, that's not going so well for the Mayor of 9/11:

Quinnipiac University's latest poll of Floridians shows that there's a statistical tie with the top four Republican contenders. John McCain, with 22 percentage points, barely leads. Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney are tied at 20 points and they can feel Mike Huckabee's breath. Fred Thompson (7) and Ron Paul (5) barely make the cut.

[...]

Also, [pollster Peter A.] Brown notes "these numbers can't be good news for Mayor Giuliani," who keeps slip, slip, slipping in poll after poll as he lost in Iowa and New Hampshire, despite setting up shop in the Sunshine state. Giuliani expected and needed to win Florida.

The juxtaposition between the two New Yorkers is interesting: Rudy loses ground in Florida while campaigning here. Hillary [Clinton, who leads Barack Obama 52-31 in Quinnipiac's poll,] gains in Florida while not campaigning here. The difference: Hillary campaigned and won elsewhere, spent and raised money wisely and got TV time both by way of advertising and free media.

Still, Giuliani has the most-committed voters, while McCain's support is "flimsier," Brown suggests, pointing out that only 42 percent of his voters saying they're a firm commitment.

Rudy -- or his advisors -- apparently didn't understand, or didn't think it would matter, that while Iowa and New Hampshire are small states with few delegates, the media coverage of those states gives the winners lots of free publicity. So you see McCain and Huckabee, who three months ago barely merited a mention in Florida, moving up the charts, while Rudy battles to stay in the race.

Then again, maybe "battle" is the wrong word ... unless you're going to follow it with "axe," based on the company Rudy keeps while he's back in Florida:

As with most of his previous visits to South Florida, Giuliani stumped Sunday in the politically influential Cuban-American community. He addressed thousands of parishioners at El Rey Jesus church in Miami and got out in front of tens of thousands of people who lined Calle Ocho for the Three Kings parade [(right)].

"This is a big deal for him to have so much access," said Hialeah Councilwoman Vivian Casals-Muñoz, a Giuliani supporter who greeted participants in the parade celebrating the story of the three wise men who brought gifts to the baby Jesus.

Former U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris, who's fallen out of public view since her disastrous bid for the U.S. Senate in 2006, was spotted at the church. Giuliani staffers said her visit was not planned by the campaign.

That's weird ... I thought usually rats abandon sinking ships ...

Conclusion: according to one commenter on the polling story, if someone's carrying on and rambling without making any sense, you might text-message them "RUDY?," for "Are you (R-U) Done Yet?" So, to answer the question "RUDY?" for Giuliani, the answer is clear:

Cya!

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Rudy Giuliani

Ah, sweet schadenfreude. It's been a while since we've laughed at the misfortune of yet another woebegone Republican, but Rudy Giuliani deserves our derision for his abysmal showing in Iowa. He came in behind, among others, John McCain, Ron Paul, and a bag of soiled diapers.

Still, what makes this schadenfreude-worthy? After all, we shouldn't put too much stock into Rudy's pathetic results in Iowa, since he long ago focused almost exclusively on Florida as his chance to make a splash, right? Well, by the time January 29 rolls around, it's going to be too little, too late. Even the polls seem to bear this out:

Mitt Romney’s strategy for winning the Republican nomination was to win the early states and build momentum. Rudy Giuliani’s plan was to accept defeats in the early states and come back strong on January 29 in Florida and in many large states on February 5.

The latest Rasmussen Reports polling in the state of Florida suggests that Giuliani might need to work on a "Plan B." Mike Huckabee now leads in the Sunshine State Primary with 27% of the vote. He is trailed closely by Romney at 23% and Giuliani at 19%. Fred Thompson is at 9% in the poll, John McCain at 6%, and Ron Paul at 4%. Tom Tancredo and Duncan Hunter each attract 1% and 8% are undecided.

That was on December 14, more than three weeks ago, and I hardly think Huckabee's win yesterday in Iowa does anything other than give him even more of a boost here in America's Wang™. Granted, other polls still show Rudy with a lead, but it's a narrow, dwindling lead.

Mr. 9/11, in short, is toast. And the Republicans likely will get exactly what they deserve, namely, a corrupt, incompetent, fundamentalist preacher as their nominee. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of misfits and scalawags.

So, congratulations, Rudy -- I hate to say I told you so, but, well, I told you so. And so today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Florida's basket holds Rudy's eggs

The Rudy! Express is slowing down. Waaaaaay down.

Facing losses in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina, Rudy Giuliani continues to pin all of his hopes on America's Wang™. And considering the trouble he's gotten into with his own wang over the years, this strategy seems more than a little questionable.

Rudy Giuliani wrapped up a three-day swing through Florida on Friday by picking up the endorsement of a national association of state troopers, standing beside a memorial outside the Orange County courthouse honoring slain law enforcement personnel.

The Republican presidential candidate, accompanied by National Troopers Coalition Chairman Dennis Hallion and Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum, spoke briefly to a few supporters almost exclusively about terrorism before signing autographs and heading back to Iowa in anticipation of next week's caucuses there.

Giuliani met with veterans' groups during visits to South Florida, Largo and Orlando this week, spending much of the past two days, including Friday, hammering on his anti-terrorism platform, the backbone of his campaign.

He repeated remarks made Thursday in the aftermath of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto's assassination, urging Americans to experience a "sense of solidarity" with Pakistani mourners as that country appears on the brink of chaos.

Putting aside for the moment that he is a monumental asshole and quite likely a criminal, it's becoming obvious that ol' One-Note Rudy! is losing traction fast. Noun-verb-9/11 can only go so far, and the voters are discovering this. And even though Florida is a key early primary state, a Giuliani victory here still will not be enough to overcome the inevitable momentum of the Iowa and New Hampshire winner(s), be they Huckabee, Romney, or McCain ...

I remain convinced that the Republican Party, still controlled by the fundies, will never allow a thrice-married, pro-choice, philandering Noo Yawker to be their nominee. And one month from today, the Florida GOP primary will go a long way toward making that determination once and for all.

Fuck the mainstream media

Just watching the news on MSNBC regarding the assassination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan. Apparently this is all good news for Rudy! and Hillary ...

The eminently reasonable mouth-breathing idiot Joe Scarborough just announced that the Bhutto assassination is "devastating" to Barack Obama's campaign and helpful to "hawks" like McCain, Giuliani, and Clinton. Granted, I'm no Obama fan, but give me a fucking break. It's only helpful to hawks from the perspective of hawks.

An objective "journalist" might point out that candidates like Obama and John Edwards could benefit politically because the American people understand that it's the policies of Drunky McStagger and the Republicans that have led the world to such violence and disorder. Therefore, isn't it possible that Americans are just sick of war and warmongering, and that they'll see the light and oppose candidates with a hawkish viewpoint?

Not according to the Mainstream Corporate Media, as represented so typically by Joe Scar. And objective viewpoints truly are a thing of the past, because the facts have a liberal bias.

UPDATE (12:38 pm 12/27/07): Apparently when I heard Joe Scar, it was taped, as Atrios made basically the same point an hour ago. Oh, well, GMTA.

Here comes Huckabee

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Mike Huckabee has surged into a virtual tie with front-runner Rudy Giuliani in the national 2008 Republican presidential race two weeks before the first contest, according to a Reuters/Zogby poll released on Wednesday.

Huckabee, a former governor of Arkansas whose campaign has caught fire in recent weeks, wiped out an 18-point deficit in one month to pull within one point of Giuliani, 23 percent to 22 percent.

I'm not saying that Rudy Giuliani is a better candidate, but I'm just pointing out that all my talk about Huckabee the last few months is beginning to come true. I've said all along that the batshit crazy fundies still run the GOP, and neither Giuliani nor Mitt Romney is palatable to them. Huckabee's got the aw-shucks demeanor and pulpit creds to boot, so naturally the Religious Right will push hard to get him the nomination.

Granted, this is the old "mythical national primary," but I think it accurately reflects the fawning press coverage Huckabee has received lately. I've even seen my first Huckabee bumper stickers around America's Wang™ in recent days, if that's any indication of (please excuse the expression) a surge. And of course the media hasn't even begun to dismantle Huckabee yet ... which leads me to wonder if they ever will.

But just remember, gang: wolf in sheep's clothing. If you think the Bush theocracy is heinous, just wait till you get a taste of the Huckabee theocracy.

Spam spam spam spam Romney spam spam

I don't know the guy who sent this e-mail to me, so I don't know if I was spammed or just ended up on someone's contact list somehow. But the e-mail is hilarious.

Subject: Are you interested in helping Governor Romney win?
From: [redacted]
Date: December 13, 2007 7:29 PM
To: [Sinfonian]

Dear Family and Friends,

As many of you might know, I am currently working for Governor Romney’s Presidential Campaign. I can’t tell you how incredible of an opportunity this has been for me. Governor Romney is one of the most decent and moral men I’ve ever had the opportunity to serve. His vision for a stronger America is exactly what we need right now! I am proud to be working to bring about his winning the Republican presidential nomination.

As you know, Governor Romney continues to make gains throughout the country. Of course, there is still more to do. I am emailing because part of my job is to help recruit those who are interested in volunteering in an early primary or caucus state. This is the list of the states and dates I am asking about:

Iowa – January 3, 2008
New Hampshire - January 8, 2008
Michigan – January 15, 2008
South Carolina – January 19, 2008
Nevada – January 19, 2008
Florida - January 29, 2008

It is no secret that our tactic to win the nomination is an early state strategy. Turning out as large of volunteer base to help out efforts is a key part to our plan. Although we are still working through the details, I have a form I can email and then you would fill it out and submit to the campaign. Once they have the applications they will get back with you with further details.

If you are at all interested in learning more, please send me an email and I will forward the form.

Please feel free to forward this email to any family or friends who you think may also be interested in helping with early state deployment. Getting the word out there to Governor Romney’s dedicated volunteers could make the difference in winning!

If you are unable to join us in an early state, but still would like to help in some way. Please send me an email and we can discuss other opportunities.

Please have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Sincerely,
[some guy]

In a way, I feel like I've happened upon some enemy transmission revealing plans of attack. But, of course, it's really nothing more than doing what any reasonably bright candidate would do*: focus on the early states.

Naturally, I felt the need to reply:

Dear [some guy],

Thank you for your email. I have no idea how I ended up on your blast email list, but please remove me from future mailings. Not only will I work as hard as I possibly can to ensure the election of the Democratic nominee for president, whoever he or she may be, but even if I were a Republican (in which case I would repeatedly drink myself into oblivion, but that's beside the point), I wouldn't support Romney. He was incompetent as a governor, he is dishonest and pandering as a candidate, and he feels that "service to the country" for his sons is having them work on his campaign rather than fight in a "war" that he unabashedly supports. That is the height of hypocrisy.

And don't even get me started on how Mitt cruelly tied his dog to the roof of the car until it shat itself, then hosed it off to clean it up. Mitt Romney is a shallow, insensitive jerk.

But, hey, good luck with the campaign! If you work very, very hard, you just might earn the privilege of helping Mitt be the loser in the general election next November.

- "Sinfonian," http://flprogressive.blogspot.com

Petty? Perhaps. But it's so fun to taunt Republicans!

---

* Needless to say, this excludes Rudy Giuliani, who is basically sacrificing the early states and putting all his eggs in Florida's basket. Rudy is, of course, not reasonably bright. But we knew that already.

Republicans are jokers, say tokers

The Marijuana Policy Project has come up with an ingenious plan to catch the Republican presidential candidates in their lies about the medical value of marijuana. Naturally, it involves money ... which ought to get the candidates' attention:

The Marijuana Policy Project (MPP) next week plans to offer GOP presidential wannabes $10,000 if they can back up their claims that medical marijuana is either unnecessary or "too dangerous" for medical use. According to an MPP official, the Washington, D.C.–based group and two medical marijuana– using patients will hold a news conference in Manchester, N.H., on Monday at which the pot reform lobby will offer the max political contributions ($5,000 for the primary campaign, $5,000 for the general election) to Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Mitt Romney if they can provide evidence backing up their statements.

Giuliani, McCain, and Romney are being targeted because they have spoken out about the supposed dangers of medical marijuana and/or claimed that it has no medical value.

If you think one of the candidates will try to collect, though, don't, um, hold your breath.

Viva: more than a paper towel

Proving once again that there's no shitty idea that's not worth regurgitating, the Giuliani campaign is reaching all the way back to the Drunky McStagger campaigns to pursue the Hispanic vote.

Yes, it's Viva Rudy!

Rudy Giuliani's presidential committee on Wednesday morning unveiled its national campaign, dubbed "Viva Rudy," to reach the nation's Hispanic voters.

The Miami event kicked off with an 11 a.m. news conference at La Carretta restaurant on Bird Road in Westchester. There was a similar event in Orlando.

Giuliani was not present.

Several local politicians and public officials were on hand to endorse the former New York City mayor.

A 30-inch-by-50-inch Viva Rudy sign hung on the wall in a private second-floor room.

State Rep. Rene Garcia, statewide Hispanic chairman for Giuliani's campaign, was at the event.

"The Hispanic community has long been forgotten in many elections. In 2000, we realized how important the Hispanic vote is," he said.

Fifteen supporters were in the room.

"He believes in education and helping our children complete globally," Miami-Dade School Board member Marta Perez said.

"Also," said Perez, "9/11."

No, she didn't really say that. But she might as well have. And fifteen supporters? That's pathetic. I mean, truly embarrassing. You might as well not even have an event if you're only going to draw fifteen. What, is Rudy trying to outdo Fred Thompson for Crappiest Campaign Event of the Year?

Seriously, am I the only one who remembers the quasi-ubiquitous "Viva Bush" stickers everywhere? Is four years -- three, really -- enough time to distance one's self from an ad campaign? No, of course not.

Look, it's like having a slogan "Have a diet Coke and a smile" or a little chihuahua promoting Pizza Hut. Same family, same slogan. Rudy, you get an "F" for originality.

On the other hand, I guess it's really quite appropriate, given that "Viva Rudy!" brings to mind another ad campaign of recent vintage, one that's sure to draw comparisons to a certain serial philanderer who's running for president:

Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and ... politics

The real national pastime, these days, is politics, specifically the presidential campaigns.

I'm not sure how I missed this report last month, but it's worthy of bringing up now: people affiliated with Major League Baseball have given presidential candidates over $267,000. And I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that the GOP has out-raised Democrats among the baseball community by a 59% to 41% margin.

Who's the biggest individual "winner?" This isn't surprising either:

[Rudy] Giuliani is the top recipient of baseball cash, scoring more than $78,000. The former New York mayor counts among his financial supporters Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and leaders of the Detroit Tigers, San Francisco Giants and Los Angeles Angels.

Giuliani spokeswoman Maria Comella alluded to Yankees-Red Sox history, saying the campaign felt good about its baseball support. "Not quite as good as (Yankees owner) Jake Ruppert felt when he bought Babe Ruth from the Red Sox for a mere $100,000" in 1919, Comella said. "But pretty good nonetheless."

Hillary Rodham Clinton tops Democrats with nearly $50,000, including checks from people tied to the Los Angeles Dodgers, Milwaukee Brewers and Minnesota Twins. Clinton spokesman Blake Zeff said the New York senator's haul shows even Bush's former colleagues "are clamoring for the change Hillary will bring."

Ken Kendrick, managing general partner of the Arizona Diamondbacks, said he doesn't expect anything for his donations to Arizona Sen. John McCain, Giuliani and Romney. "I hope to get a good leader for our country," he said.

Also supporting Giuliani is Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez; you also might recall Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling campaigning hard for Drunky McStagger immediately after the 2004 World Series.

I guess it's not really news that a bunch of sheltered, egocentric millionaires tend to favor Republicans ... after all, the sheltered, egocentric millionaire demographic really is the GOP's base.

Bernie down the house

Former NYC police commissioner Bernard Kerik has been indicted on 14 counts related to fraud and corruption. He surrendered to the FBI today in White Plains, N.Y., and is expected to be arraigned later today.

Couldn't happen to a better-connected guy.