Viva: more than a paper towel

Proving once again that there's no shitty idea that's not worth regurgitating, the Giuliani campaign is reaching all the way back to the Drunky McStagger campaigns to pursue the Hispanic vote.

Yes, it's Viva Rudy!

Rudy Giuliani's presidential committee on Wednesday morning unveiled its national campaign, dubbed "Viva Rudy," to reach the nation's Hispanic voters.

The Miami event kicked off with an 11 a.m. news conference at La Carretta restaurant on Bird Road in Westchester. There was a similar event in Orlando.

Giuliani was not present.

Several local politicians and public officials were on hand to endorse the former New York City mayor.

A 30-inch-by-50-inch Viva Rudy sign hung on the wall in a private second-floor room.

State Rep. Rene Garcia, statewide Hispanic chairman for Giuliani's campaign, was at the event.

"The Hispanic community has long been forgotten in many elections. In 2000, we realized how important the Hispanic vote is," he said.

Fifteen supporters were in the room.

"He believes in education and helping our children complete globally," Miami-Dade School Board member Marta Perez said.

"Also," said Perez, "9/11."

No, she didn't really say that. But she might as well have. And fifteen supporters? That's pathetic. I mean, truly embarrassing. You might as well not even have an event if you're only going to draw fifteen. What, is Rudy trying to outdo Fred Thompson for Crappiest Campaign Event of the Year?

Seriously, am I the only one who remembers the quasi-ubiquitous "Viva Bush" stickers everywhere? Is four years -- three, really -- enough time to distance one's self from an ad campaign? No, of course not.

Look, it's like having a slogan "Have a diet Coke and a smile" or a little chihuahua promoting Pizza Hut. Same family, same slogan. Rudy, you get an "F" for originality.

On the other hand, I guess it's really quite appropriate, given that "Viva Rudy!" brings to mind another ad campaign of recent vintage, one that's sure to draw comparisons to a certain serial philanderer who's running for president: