Could the Florida state senate drive 55?

Sometimes, celebrities from other fields get into politics. It's not unheard of and, often, it's a logical step from name recognition in another pursuit to being elected to office. Occasionally, those celebrities come from sports, as when former FSU and NFL football star Peter Boulware ran unsuccessfully for the state House as a Republican in 2008.

But now another even more prominent name has surfaced in a Tampa-area state Senate district...and this time, he's a Democrat.

Derrick Brooks [(right)] earned a reputation as a dominant linebacker and fearsome tackler for the Buccaneers.

But could he bring down a Republican opponent in a state Senate race?

Some Florida Democrats think so, and they're courting him to run for the District 12 state Senate seat.

When asked about it, Brooks said this: "I'm not at liberty to talk about that right now."

When pressed, he said that ever since then-Gov. Jeb Bush appointed him to the FSU Board of Trustees, people have questioned him about his political aspirations. If he does run, he said, it won't be a secret. "I'll let everyone know," he said.

"It's an interesting proposition, isn't it?" said Susan Smith, who chairs the campaign committee for the Hillsborough County Democratic Party.

(Yes, that's the Florida Progressive Coalition's own Susan Smith quoted there!)

So far, no Democrat has declared for the District 12 seat, currently held by Republican Victor Crist, who is term-limited out. As an FSU trustee and a well-known figure in the Tampa area -- not only for his gridiron exploits but also for having started a successful charter school and being an outspoken advocate on education issues -- Brooks certainly is an attractive option for the Democrats. Will he run? Only time will tell ... but I'm wagering that he will.

Too stupid to breathe: Al Austin

Al Austin (right) is a high-level Republican fundraiser in Tampa. He's also a world-class douchebag.

Check out what he did:

[Austin] sent to his list of political contacts an e-mail containing a joke that refers to the assassination of Barack Obama.

When asked about the e-mail, Austin said it was a mistake and apologized and that he wouldn’t knowingly have circulated it. He said he planned to send an apology and retraction to the same e-mail list.

[...]

Austin acknowledged sending the e-mail to his list of political contacts but said he forwarded it without fully reading it and didn’t know what it said. That list included at least two reporters.

[...]

Austin, a prominent real estate developer long known as one of the state’s leading Republican campaign fundraisers, has served in recent years as finance chairman for both the national and state Republican parties.

Typical GOP "humor," typical GOP response: "it was an accident," like "it's just a joke" or "you're too sensitive." Come on, Al -- own the hatred!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Republicans aren't funny. Period. They just aren't. Their "humor" relies too much on hatred, discrimination, and putting down others to be funny.

I like to think that "I know funny," as I used to say as an old catchphrase of mine. But whether or not I actually know funny, I definitely know too stupid to breathe, and Al Austin clearly fits that category.

(h/t HoneyBearKelly via Twitter)

I hate when that happens

Did you hear about the poor guy in Tampa today who accidentally introduced Joe Biden as "the next vice president of the United States, John McCain?"

Here's the video:

WKRG.com Video

Naturally, the Republicans jumped on the gaffe like Levi on Bristol -- never mind that the guy who made the introduction, former Republican Jim Pacillo, was recently laid off from his job at a bank. But after all, Republicans aren't exactly known for their empathy.

In a TV interview, Pacillo said he was all set to say "Joe Biden," but as he looked away from his notes, he saw the words "John McCain" (he didn't say where), and that's what came out of his mouth. I can identify with that -- I think of Huggy Bear every time I see the words "dessicated, goiter-ridden near-corpse."

Whatever your pleasure, Tampa's the place this weekend

This looks interesting.

For the fifth straight year, Fetish Con, a celebration of all things kink-tacular, is expected to draw more than 2,000 randy conventioneers to downtown Tampa for a series of workshops, parties and leather-clad networking. It’s billed as the largest adult fetish gathering on the East Coast.

Among this year’s sexy, sexy highlights:

• Seminars on wax play, mummification, body casting, pillories and straitjackets, cupping (applying large suction cups to the skin), polyamory, Gorean slave dancing and “How to Meet the Dominant Person of Your Dreams.”


• A demonstration called “Household Sadism,” full of tricks on how to save money on BDSM gear now that the economy’s in the toilet. “What we don’t realize is that the best 'affordable’ BDSM gear is sometimes found at home or designed for home use!” the Fetish Con event schedule says. So true.


• Appearances by models RubberDoll, Velvet Slave, Mizz Fluffy, Mr. Anthropic, JezebelTempting, JoJo Suicide, Bloodbunny, Above Average Arthur, Ghettobutt ... honestly, we could go on all day. The names are just fantastic.


• And, for the first time, a fully equipped dungeon space with “full-time dungeon masters as well as ambient music and lighting.” (Because really, it’s the ambient lighting that makes your dungeon pop. That’s what Paige Davis always says.)

Predictably, the Lifestyle Police in the comments are taking people to task for having more fun than they are:

EW WHY? Some people are just sick and can't think of better things to do with there time. NASTY!!!

Posted by: Antoinette


That's just great! Now sick perverts and ho's have some where to go for a day.What's next? "Who wants to be a porn star game show. I'm sure that coming soon !!

Posted by: Get real


Cat....go back to the closet, close the door and dont come back out. Dont bring this filth to my town!

Sick Freak!

Posted by: Jimmy J

Repression is such an ugly thing.

Happy 200th birthday, Jefferson Davis, from the state of Florida

Welcome to Florida: home to the world's largest Confederate flag! How apropos, considering that America's Wang™ is one of only three states to celebrate Jefferson Davis' birthday as a state holiday. Davis was born on June 3, 1808 -- two hundred years ago today.

And so, in light of this momentous anniversary, I'm sure the Florida tourism office, "Visit Florida," is thrilled about the fact that the largest Confederate flag in the world soon will be flying over one of the state's busiest highway interchanges. See what happens when you turn down the Rebel license plate?

The Sons of Confederate Veterans in Tampa plan soon to raise what they claim is the world's largest Confederate flag on a private triangle of land tucked near where Interstates 75 and 4 meet. The flag [picture at right is a photoillustration of the flag as it might appear when erected] measures 50 feet by 30 feet.

John Adams, commander of the organization's Florida division, has spearheaded the flag project, which includes plans for an accompanying memorial park. And he wants to make sure that the only objections the group faces are based on opinion, not the law.

"You're going to hear some complaints about it for sure," Adams said. "But it's a free country as far as I know."

[...]

The flag will be the group's third in the state, but will be not only the largest, but will also fly square in the middle of one of the most highly-trafficked intersections in the state. An estimated 124,000 cars pass by the highway ever day. The two Interstates link the Tampa Bay area to Orlando to the northeast and Miami to the south.

The pole, which will be anchored by a 100,000-pound concrete base, is the tallest the Federal Aviation Administration would allow in that spot. The 1,500-square-foot flag was ordered from a Chinese company after an American flagmaker begged off, citing union objections to making the flag. It will be illuminated by spotlights at night.

Adams said the project, which will cost an estimated $80,000, has been going through approvals with the Hillsborough County government for more than two years. The park that accompanies the flag will feature landscaping and parking as well as plaques detailing the state's historical contributions to the Confederacy. One will even pay tribute to the small group of black soldiers who fought on the Confederacy's behalf, Adams said.

Throughout the permitting process, Adams admits he never revealed to officials that it was the Confederate flag he intended to fly atop the pole. He had no reason to, he said. "The flag is political speech so it's not like they can do anything about it," he said. "You cannot simply discriminate because the message is one you don't like."

Dude's name is John Adams. The irony, it burns.

Of course, Visit Florida also brought us the one-word racial-epithet-cum-tourism-slogan, so maybe they aren't as offended as, you know, the non-racist-fuckwad population, like Hillsborough County's only African-American commissioner, Kevin White:

White fears that drivers who might have planned a stop in Hillsborough County will drive right through when they see the massive flag. "They might have stopped for lodging or to get something to eat," White said. "Now they'll say, 'Maybe I'll just keep driving and get out of this county altogether.'"

Oh, come on, Mr. White -- think of all the mouth-breathing racist dipshits who'll flock to Tampa because of the flag! Think outside the hood, man! The possibilities are endless ...

How about a Rebelland theme park, complete with slave auction? Or maybe a county park, cleverly (if slightly inaccurately) called Nathan Bedford Forest, to honor the Confederate general who later founded the Ku Klux Klan? You could bring back "colored" restrooms! Rename Hillsborough County for David Duke! Embrace the racism! Embracism!

Ouch. That's too much sarcasm for me to handle all at once. I just hope the racist fucks crawl back into the slime from which they slithered.

(h/t Joe Bardi at The Political Whore)

We get e-mail

Normally, if I get an e-mail from a reader (and it's rare, actually), it's something about how I'm unfair to Republicans or that liberals are insane or whatever.

Today's different, though. And a little disconcerting. Apprently this fan of CNN didn't like my Daily Schadenfreude last night ... or else he just really, really hates Tampa.

Subject: Tampa is a nothing city!
From: cnnfan [rest of address deleted]
Date: May 18, 2007 2:39 PM
To: [Sinfonian]

The general manager of a station in Tampa gets arrested?!! Who cares!! It's not like he was working in New York or Los Angeles-- cities that actually matter. Most people can't even place Tampa on a map.

That's it. That's all he wrote. Seriously.

Um, dude? Take a pill, okay? It's not the end of the world. The post was, you know, just a poke at the Fox Network (not CNN) for employing a weirdo. I mean, you actually took time to write and send that e-mail?

I'm not publishing the writer's address here, lest the entire population of Tampa descend on his inbox. But I will advise him to take up a hobby. Or at least have another beer.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Robert Linger

Who, you might ask, is Robert Linger (right)?

He's the general manager of WTVT-TV, Channel 13 in Tampa. And he was arrested last night at a Tampa adult video store, charged with exposure of a sexual organ and lewd and lascivious behavior.

Oh, wait ... did I mention that Linger's station is a FOX affiliate? Now you can start laughing.

According to the arrest reports, the six men formed a circle around the undercover officers inside the movie theater and began masturbating.

Linger was also seen sitting on a couch while masturbating, the arrest report states.

Actually, I think the truly newsworthy part is that we now have proof of a FOX employee masturbating without footage of the "war" in Iraq or a picture of Drunky McStagger. I really thought that wasn't possible ...

When I was a kid, my own father was the GM of another Tampa Bay area television station ... so perhaps I should have some sympathy for Mr. Linger.

[thinking, remembering it's FOX]

Naaaaaah.

So, congratulations, Mr. Linger -- today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you! (No, no, that's okay, Bob ... you don't have to shake my hand ... really, I mean it ...)

Smells like patchouli

That aroma coming from Tampa is from a gathering of progressive bloggers and activists from all over America's Wang™ meeting to discuss, you know, liberal stuff. We even have (or had) two candidates for local office joining us, which is nice. Always good to know that bloggers are considered legitimate ...

I'll keep you posted, since I know you're riveted to the updates ...

On the road again

Cue the old "Wide World of Sports" theme, because this weekend I'll be Spanning Teh Wang™ for meetings and bloggifying.

Today I'm on my way to real-job meetings in Sarasota, the city chiefly responsible for inflicting Katherine Harris on the rest of us. I'll make sure to clean all the batshit crazy off of me before I get home.

Tonight it's Clearwater and consumption of adult beverages with my Best Republican Friend. See above comment regarding cleaning off the batshit crazy thereafter. (I keed, I keed!)

And tomorrow I'll be in Tampa for a meeting of the neuroses minds in Florida's progressive blogosphere and netroots community. I haven't the foggiest notion of why I was invited to attend, but I'm really just going for the booze and hookers. No, wait, that was the state Republican conference. Sorry. I meant I'm only going to Tampa for the drum circles and pot. Oh, and the snacks.

Then next week, I'm in Tallahassee for a few days, but I'll probably be so stoned and exhausted from the "free love" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more) in Tampa that I won't remember why I'm going up to America's Taint™ in the first place.

Anyway, stay tuned for further reports from the Spanning Teh Wang™ '08 Tour. Hey, Florida -- are you ready to rock?!

Fly the friendly skies

Hi from Tampa.

Yeah, I know, it's silly to drive from America's Glans™ all the way here to TPA. But I have my reasons.

I guess I'm really doing this. Hopefully it'll burnish my Dirty Fucking Hippie creds just a little.

I've talked to racy mind and she's on her flight now. I'll be boarding mine momentarily ... and then it's off to D.C. to send a message. And drink some beer. Yeah, mostly beer.

But, there'll be a message, too.

More later ... from the Nation's Capital.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Randy and Paula White

Divorce, no matter what the circumstances, is tough. Believe me, I know from experience that it's no laughing matter.

Unless, that is, the divorcing couple is one of the most prominent and hypocritical fundie pairs in Florida. Welcome to the club, Randy and Paula White, founders and pastors of Tampa's Without Walls International Church! They announced their pending divorce last night ... in church:

"It is the most difficult decision that I have had to make in my entire life," said the Rev. Randy White, 49. "I take full responsibility for a failed marriage -100 percent. I don't blame Paula, and I don't blame other parties. But as the man of the house, I take full responsibility for that."

He praised his wife, calling her an exceptional woman and a great preacher and wife.

Standing by his side and appearing to fight back tears, the Rev. Paula White called the decision to divorce "one of the most painful of our lives."

"But God always comes to you in the dark places of life," White said, standing beside her husband in the pulpit.

White, 41, also offered a note of optimism.

"It's not the end of the story for Randy or Paula or maybe even Randy and Paula," she said.

Although they didn't give a reason for the split, apparently absence may have made the heart grow ... um ... not fonder:

Word about trouble in the couple's marriage has circulated for months. The Whites' disparate ministry paths have fueled much of the concern. Randy White, a bishop at Without Walls International Church, has been spending time in Malibu, Calif., in hopes of establishing a ministry on the West Coast. Paula White, the church's senior pastor and a sought-after televangelist, keeps an apartment in New York City, where she recently opened a new ministry and self-help center in July.

Normally, I wouldn't laugh and point even at fundies. But some chickens are coming home to roost, perhaps? The Whites have faced quite a bit of scrutiny over the years for their shady business deals and lavish south Tampa lifestyle (what? Rich evangelists? Say it ain't so!):

[Paula] White also has been dubbed a prosperity preacher, a proponent of the name-it and claim-it gospel, which purports that people can receive financial, emotional and spiritual blessings if they donate. That message and her penchant for designer clothing and flashy cars have added to the cacophony of criticism.

White drives a Mercedes-Benz and flies around the country in a private jet. She lives in a $2.1-million mansion on Tampa's Bayshore Boulevard and has a Fifth Avenue condo in Trump Tower in New York City.

The ministries took in $39.9-million in 2006, according to an audit of Without Walls and Paula White Ministries released in June by an independent Clearwater accounting firm. About $28.6--million helped promote the church's programs, conferences and outreach efforts, the audit said. Other expenses covered management and fundraising.

This raises, of course, the age-old question, "What Would Jesus Fly?" To mix religious metaphors, karma's a bitch, ain't it? I'm not sure where mansions and private jets are recommended in the Bible, but then again, I'm just a dirty fucking hippie, so what do I know?

What I do know is that congratulations are in order for Randy and Paula White, for today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you! (If I were you, I'd just agree to split the award evenly. It's much easier that way ...)

The Political Whore

No, I'm not talking about Fred Thompson's wife. I mean Wayne Garcia's blog.

Wayne writes for Creative Loafing, Tampa's alternative weekly newspaper. He e-mailed me last week when I was on vacation to say he was blogrolling me, but I was out of the country and, besides, I didn't recognize his name right off ...

Well, I do now. He even linked to me today. So, with apologies for the delay, I'm pleased to add The Political Whore to the blogroll.

Of course, as a long-time cigar aficionado myself and a Bucs season ticket holder to boot, I can always use another cigar-smoking pal in Tampa.