The Imus worshippers talk wank back

Well, I come home from an evening out only to discover that I seem to have stirred up a bit of a hornet's nest among the MBFs* who adore Don Imus. I got linked up at a couple of Imus-fellating blogs and the fun has begun:

You are the most ignorant person on Earth. Why don't you clean up your own language before you cast doubt about Don Imus.

This man does not have a racist bone in his body. And you trash him. Well guess what? You are dead wrong. And whomever reads your crappy blog are worse than you. Get a life and be open minded.

Or is it you just wish to get hits on you stupid blog.

Publish your email address and you will never catch up with all the negatives you receive.

You are a true and honest MORON!

Bruce
Bradenton, FL

Now Bruce, being the Rhodes scholar he obviously is, didn't read well enough to note that I have a contact link right here on this blog. Maybe I shouldn't have used words with more than two syllables. My bad.

But he does want me to be "open-minded." See, in Bruce's world, "open-minded" means "willing to accept racism, shoot guns, and hate on gays and everyone different than me." Sorry, Bruce, but that's not how I roll. Yet another good reason to stay the fuck away from Bradenton, I'd say (with apologies to any sensible, reality-based people in Bradenton) ...

Which reminds me: clean up my language? Okay, Dad. Whatever you say. I'll clean up the language on MY blog, just so I don't offend your tender sensibilities. Right. Sure. Here's a better idea: don't come here and read my foul fucking language, okay? Thanks in advance.

And "most ignorant person on Earth?" I'm offended, sir. Surely even someone of your limited worldview and education (not to mention grammatical skills -- "whomever ... are worse?" Nice try) must agree that Drunky McStagger is more ignorant than I. I'd sure be upset if I thought for a moment that I was more ignorant than that guy. So give me a little credit, won't you?

You obviously did no research and know nothing about Don Imus. Your article is nothing but journalistic flatulence.
PTBartman

I'd be offended about this one, too, if I were a journalist. Or a chronic farter. But, being neither, I'll just conclude that ol' PT is projecting and leave it at that.

Honestly: what more "research" do I have to do than to know that Imus used a profoundly racist slur to describe a group of mostly African-American women? He deserved to be fired, and the only reason he's back is because there are still enough mouth-breathing sycophantic idiots out there to listen to his tripe.

Anyway, you folks can write, e-mail, comment, rant and rave all you want. I'm moving on. Just wanted to thank you, though, for the intelligent discourse. I'm sure you can see that I've responded with the same level of thought, insight, and intellect that you all used.

---

* Moronic Brownshirt Fucks, of course. Used to be a popular epithet a few years ago in the blogosphere but has gone by the wayside of late. Pity. It's so accurate.

Let's welcome our new mascot!

Dear readers, I'm pleased as punch to announce that Blast Off! has its very own mascot!

Like most mascots, it's adorable (especially when it gets mad), its antics are fun to watch, and it says nothing beyond the occasional guttural grunt.

Folks, let's hear it for The Year 2008!!

Formerly known hereabouts as "Zhombre," the new Blast Off! mascot (pictured at right) delights its audience with its silly, nonsensical bleating. It specializes in personal attacks without substance and thinks it's far more important to society than it actually is! Ever since its first appearance, when it didn't even know that 2008 is a leap year, its ignorant, soporific platitudes have brought joy to people all over the world. No, of course the RedState gang couldn't live without it, and it thinks Michelle Malkin is "dreamy," but like a festering boil, it gets under your skin until you just want to lance, I mean, hug its little head off!

Watch for special appearances of The Year 2008 in the days and weeks to come. Accept no imitations -- only the Official Blast Off! Mascot, The Year 2008, can make you feel that, even if you dropped out of school in the seventh grade, you're still smarter than someone on the planet!

Congratulations, The Year 2008!

(h/t Trademark Dave)

When trolls attack, part two

Beware of Canadians in university libraries:

A Winnipeg man caught with his hands full while surfing for porn on a university computer wasn't going to be discouraged before getting the job done, a court heard yesterday.

The 26-year-old pleaded guilty to one count of committing an indecent act and three breaches of probation after security staff at the University of Manitoba's McDermot Avenue campus library caught him downloading porn from a public computer and masturbating on Aug. 4.

Court was told the man made no move to buckle up when approached by security staff and said "I'm almost done, can I finish?"

The man -- who was living on the street at the time of the offence and suffers from mental health problems -- later told police he took matters into his own hands "all the time" at the library.

In court, the man took issue with Judge Tim Preston calling his actions "public."

"I wasn't masturbating in public," he said.

"I was just sitting at a computer, downloading a few things and I got a little horny ...

"I do it all the time."

"Gary Ruppert" and "Brian Hardig" were unavailable for comment.

When trolls attack

Apparently some wingnut blogger got out of Mommy's basement:

Patrick Hamman, 22, of 4904 S.W. 13th St., was arrested Sunday on a charge of domestic assault. Officers explained that the victim of the snack attack, Michael Hamman, lives with his adult son, Patrick and that they became involved in an argument Sunday night.

Patrick Hammon picked up a bag of Cheetos and threw it at his father, hitting him in the face, police said. It hit him in the glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of Michael Hamman's nose.

The police report said: "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust."

Patrick admitted being high on methamphetamine, police said. He was taken to the Polk County Jail without further incident.

Coincidentally, "Toby Petzold" was unavailable for comment.

Meanwhile, Jenna and NotJenna order another round of mojitos

Prince Harry is going to Iraq after all.

Commanders reportedly had reconsidered their decision to allow the prince to fight in Iraq for fear he would become a target of insurgents and his presence could endanger other soldiers. Harry's regiment, the Blues and Royals, is due to begin a six-month tour of duty in Iraq within weeks.

Over the past two weeks, newspapers have reported threats by Iraqi insurgents to kill or kidnap the prince, including claims his photograph had been widely circulated among militants. Military chiefs acknowledge that Harry would be an attractive target and that his presence could lead to a surge in attacks on British forces.

Gen. Sir Richard Dannatt said the decision would be kept under review, but he hoped his statement would end media speculation on Harry's deployment.

I hope, as I hope with all soldiers, that Harry will be safe. His decision to pursue a military career, and to engage in combat as part of the normal course of his service, just makes our chickenhawk leadership -- not to mention the Cheetos-stained right-wing trolls, pundits, and bloggers who continue to prop up this unnecessary war -- look even more cowardly.