What exactly is Fox News talking about?

I've got to hand it to Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio), who asked Fox Business Channel anchor Douche J. Bag* the question we've all been wondering forever:

(h/t the Pride of Ocala, rayseaman, via Twitter)

---

* Probably not his real name.

When fundies attack: Christian weirdness in Ohio

I'll just let this report speak for itself:

A Toledo man accused of kidnapping, handcuffing and holding captive in an adult diaper a 22-year-old woman he picked up off the streets in Detroit may have been trying to save her, authorities say.

Troy Brisport, 34, also read the Bible to Shykea Boykin, the Detroit woman who told investigators Brisport handcuffed her by the wrists and ankles in his West Toledo apartment. He also took off her clothes and dressed her in an adult diaper, and gave her little to eat and drink, she told investigators.

Three days later, Boykin sneaked out of the apartment, still handcuffed by the wrists, in a diaper and a T-shirt, banging on neighboring apartment doors and finally on doors outside, police said.

Police said they’re somewhat baffled.

"Somewhat baffled?" That's like saying I'm "somewhat baffled" that Drunky McStagger managed to serve as president for eight years. No, I'd say this actually is fucked right the hell up. (Then again, so is Drunky as president, but I digress ...)

Wonder what Scripture Brisport selected? Maybe Isaiah 14:3? On the day the LORD gives you relief from suffering and turmoil and cruel bondage, (Well, I couldn't find a verse that mentioned handcuffs or adult diapers ...)

Sarah America?

Obviously Florida has not yet cornered the market on stupid:

Duke and Martha Wheeler, owners of The Whitehouse Christmas Tree Farm and The Corn Maze at The Butterfly House, hired designers from Idaho to design and carve the Sarah Palin corn maze.

“We feel that this will raise awareness and [Palin] will come and visit us,” Duke Wheeler said.

Wheeler said this will also allow visitors to express their freedom of choice and simply have fun by walking through the corn field.

[...]

“We’re excited about being able to create the excitement using the maze,” Wheeler said. “We hope that everybody is taking this election seriously. The more we learn about the candidates, the better we as a country will elect the right people to lead this country.”

Come and visit you? Like Santa Claus or something?

Actually, I think you're right (if not grammatically competent), Mr. Wheeler, when you say "the more we learn about the candidates, the better we as a country will elect the right [leaders]." Fortunately, those people will NOT be Huggy Bear and Clown Car.

Truth in labeling

Taking you away from Denver for just a moment to share this bit of tid:

Republican candidate for President of the United States, Sen. John McCain will be in Dayton on Friday, and it is expected that he will announce his vice-presidential running mate.

The announcement is expected to come during a rally at the Nutter Center on the campus of Wright State University at 11 a.m.

Need more be said?

(h/t Buckeye)

Desperate wingnut compares Obama to Hitler

No, I'm not talking about Sean Hannity (although would that really surprise you?), but some asshat in small-town Ironton, Ohio. He wrote an editorial in the local fish wrap yesterday that would be hilarious if it weren't so depraved.

Basically, he says Barack Obama is the second coming of Hitler. Observe:

I’m throwing the “bogus” flag upon the presidential bid of Marxist-Socialist turned Democrat Senator from Illinois, Barack Hussein Obama.

Somewhere around 75 or so years ago, from out of nowhere a stealth politician arose.

He too sought the nomination for his nation’s highest office; refreshingly different from other politicians of the era. This Austrian born wallpaper hanger’s background is too much like our Illinois lawyer’s. Both reared in single parent households; neither brought much of a resume on the campaign trail. The one hung wallpaper the other hung “present” votes. Neither has an authentic performance record for which the electorate might judge the candidate.

Our lawyer turned Senator keeps some odd company — maybe we should pay more attention to the “community” Mr. Obama keeps as a “Community Activist.” Because the company the paper hanger kept, unfortunately, wasn’t important to the inspired masses of three-quarters of a century ago. This clean and articulate new politician was active in a community of Marx inspired Socialists.

The paper hanger, just as the lawyer, delivered wonderful, inspirational public speeches. Both spoke of the “change” and “hope” their election might bring if people would “believe in” their country. Steeped in a similar class warfare rhetoric; their speeches emphasize the rich were keeping the poor people down.

Meanwhile, energy prices were raging out of control. If the streetcar was late, you’d miss a bank deposit; so now you’ll get more warmth from burning your wheelbarrow full of bank notes than from the coal you’d purchase by the bill’s face value. “Change” would improve the transportation infrastructure.

And in both cases “change” means free health care for everyone, increased equal rights, a retirement income, guaranteed wages, unemployment benefits, free child care, and more gun control. Trains and streetcars would run on time only if their party was elected. The list went on and on. The candidate gave people “hope.” It was the kind of “change” people might “believe in.”

The author of this pathetic, disgusting, racist screed is military veteran Joseph Benning, who currently runs an "agribusiness" with his wife in Lawrence Twp., Ohio.

And the paper conveniently published Benning's e-mail address. Just saying ...

Hackett endorses Kucinich's primary challenger

Well, this is kind of interesting.

In my ancestral home of Ohio, Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D), who's running for president again, is facing a primary challenge from Rosemary Palmer, a former teacher whose son was killed in Iraq in 2005.

Cincinnati attorney Paul Hackett, who was something of a darling of the netroots when he first mounted a run for the U.S. Senate, only to drop out after then-Rep. Sherrod Brown entered the race (Brown eventually won), has endorsed Palmer.

Hackett's involvement in Palmer's race "adds instant credibility," says Anthony Fossaceca, Palmer's campaign manager. It tells voters that she's serious and that, like Hackett, she's willing to go against the grain, he says.

"And it means a lot more now coming from Paul," Fossaceca says, "who doesn't do many of these."

Apparently Hackett's endorsement arises out of remarks Kucinich made to him when he was running for Congress two years ago. According to Hackett:

"[Kucinich] started his conversation off, which was pretty much a unilateral conversation, him to me while I was driving in my car in the 2nd Congressional District, by saying 'I would rather see Jean Schmidt get elected to Ohio's 2nd Congressional District than you. Because you are wrong on Iraq, you fought in Iraq, you're a Democrat in name only,' and a host of other issues."

And Hackett's response to Kucinich?

"Unbelieveably, really not anything," Hackett said today, saying he figured that "any sort of in-your-face on my part wasn't going to do anything for me."

Hackett was talking today as part of his endorsement for Rosemary Palmer, who is running against Kucinich in next year's Democratic primary. Hackett got to know Palmer and her husband after her 23-year-old son, Lance Cpl. Edward "Augie" Schroeder II, was killed in Iraq.

Hackett said he concluded that Kucinich, a longshot peace candidate for president, was so driven by a singular agenda that he was unwilling to work with others, even those who might help with solutions.

As much as we in the DFH wing of the Democratic Party may like Kucinich, it seems that his act may be wearing thin in his own congressional district.* I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that Dennis is a one-issue candidate, but there's definitely one issue that takes -- and holds -- precedence with him.

---

* However, he has a smoking hot wife, which makes up for a lot of deficiencies.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Bob Taft

"This will go on your permanent record!"

I've had more than a passing interest in Ohio politics, since it's my ancestral home and thanks to Wes from his days in Cincinnati. So, it's pretty satisfying to see Gov. Bob Taft have to face the music for his utter lack of ethics in office.

The state Supreme Court on Wednesday publicly reprimanded Ohio Gov. Bob Taft for his ethics violations in office, a black mark that will stay on his permanent record as an attorney.

Taft, 64, a Republican and great-grandson of President William Howard Taft, pleaded no contest in 2005 to failing to report golf outings and other gifts worth nearly $6,000 during his four-year term. He was fined $4,000. Taft could not seek re-election because of term limits and leaves office in less than two weeks.

As you may know, I'm a recovering attorney. When I get my Missouri Bar Bulletin each month, the first thing I look at is the "Transitions" section, to see who's moved where. The second thing is the disciplinary actions.

It may not affect his ability to practice law, but the sheer fact of having to admit to unethical conduct is publicly humiliating enough. There was a time when Taft was talked about in Republican circles for higher office ... this ain't gonna help any.

So, congratulations to Bob Taft - today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!