Touched by an angel

I actually got a response from a the chief Villager!

Boca Raton, Fla.: You said "the Republicans' best hope is that their nominee will once again be seen as the best bet to keep the country safe from attack." Given that there is no way to remain "safe from attack," aren't the Republicans relying on false hope and fearmongering?

David S. Broder: No, I disagree. I think the public wish to reduce the threat of another attack is both prudent and undestandable. And the fact that we have gone more than six years without such an attack also suggests it is not illusory.

Yes, The Dean of Journamalism, David Broder, replied to my question. Of course, he did so by sidestepping the issue and putting up strawmen, but he replied! (Maybe it's because I put "Boca Raton," a conservative city, instead of "Boynton Beach," where I actually am at the moment ...)

Unfortunately, he didn't answer my follow-up:

You said, "And the fact that we have gone more than six years without such an attack also suggests it is not illusory."

Then when we went from 1993 to 2001 without an attack, we were as safe as we have been since 2001, correct?

Still, I'll never wash my computer again ...

Wanker of the Day: updated statistics

As the self-appointed Wanker Chronicler for Eschaton, I've tallied all of the the Wanker of the Day awards to date; perhaps you've seen the previous reports here, here, and here.

I'll work on finalizing the full list of all WOTD honorees (there are 547 awards and probably upwards of 400 honorees total, so it'll take a while), but in the meantime, here are your Top Ten Wankers of the Day as of today (Hall of Famers in italics):

1. Fred Hiatt - 23 24 (see below)
2. Glenn "Instawanker" Reynolds - 22
3. Joe Lieberman - 21
4. Joe Klein - 16
5. John McCain and Andrew Sullivan (tie) - 11
7. David Broder and Jonah Goldberg (tie) - 10
9. Richard Cohen - 9
10. John "Assrocket" Hinderaker, Michelle Malkin, Tim Russert, Rick Santorum, and Marshall Wittman (tie) - 7

There definitely is room for additional Hall of Famers, and it's probably time for another induction. So stay tuned ...

UPDATE (10:04 am 10/28/07): Proving himself a wanker for the ages, Hiatt took the honor again yesterday (Saturday), giving him 24 and a two-wank lead over Instawanker.

No, I won't update like this every day, but at least now I have a spreadsheet so I can keep track more regularly. (Goddamn, I'm a loser ...)

Wanker of the Day update

By popular request, I am pleased to present the latest installment in the occasional series of Wanker of the Day statistics. For the previous tallies, or if you have no idea what "Wanker of the Day" is, go here and here. I just don't feel like writing all the background. So there.

The Hall of Fame currently has six members: David Broder, Fred Hiatt, Joe Klein, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, and Glenn Reynolds. All of those were in the charter class of inductees except Broder, who was added when Atrios declared him the first Wanker Emeritus.

And now, the updated list, as of today, of those lucky few who have wanked themselves to top honors at least four times:

19 - Joe Lieberman (in 2007: 3/29, 4/12, and 4/20, in addition to those shown in the prior tallies); and Glenn Reynolds (4/7) ... yep, it's a tie for the lead! Who will be first to 20? Maybe not Joe or Instawanker ...
18 - Fred Hiatt (4/5, 5/21, 6/3, 6/4)
17 - Joe Klein (4/23, 5/25, 6/7, 6/11)
10 - John McCain (4/1)
9 - David Broder (4/10 by vote, 4/26 as emeritus, 5/24); Jonah Goldberg (no new honors since last tally)
8 - Richard Cohen (no new honors); Andrew Sullivan (5/30)
7 - Michelle Malkin, Tim Russert, John "Assrocket" Hinderaker, Rick Santorum (no new honors for any of them)
6 - Marshall Wittman (no new honors)
5 - Bill O'Reilly, Peter Beinart (no new honors for either)
4 - Tom Friedman, Hugh Hewitt, Will Saletan (no new honors for any of them); George W. Bush, a/k/a Drunky McStagger (4/3)

Some anecdotes:

• Atrios named himself WotD for the second time on May 27; the first occurred on January 20, 2005.
• Hiatt's honors on June 3 and 4 make him only the second person ever to "win" on consecutive days (after Marshall Wittman, January 10-11, 2006).
• April 1 was the ninth multi-wanker day and the first since January 21, 2007.
• The only non-Hall of Famer to be a multiple honoree in this cycle (since the last tally) is Katie Couric, who wanked her way to the top spot on April 13 and June 9. She still has a ways to go, though, to catch up with the leading female wanker, seven-time WotD Michelle Malkin.

And so it goes until the next update ... the Hall of Famers continue to wank away, but there aren't a lot of current wankers waiting in the wings as potential candidates to join the Big Six. It doesn't take long, though -- if Klein and Hiatt have been WotD as many times since April 1 as Drunky McStagger has been in over two years, then there's real hope for a dark horse to reach the pantheon.

Keep wanking, pundits and pukes. The sky's the limit!

Why the MSM doesn't get it

What Grand Moff Texan said.

Period.

Ignorant Quote of the Week

From Thursday's Southeast Texas Record, a legal journal based in Beaumont, Tex.:

[Beaumont attorney Brent] Coon argued that newspapers should be free of bias, like the Washington Post.

"These people try to be fair," Coon said. "They try to tell both sides of the story."

You mean people like, say, WaPo's David Broder?

Never mind. There's no point explaining.

Wanker of the Day Hall of Fame: new inductee!

This morning over at Atrios' place, David Broder received the first Wanker Emeritus Award.

This gives him automatic entry into the coveted Wanker of the Day Hall of Fame. Broder is the sixth Hall of Famer, joining such luminaries as Glenn Reynolds (still the record-holder with 18 WOTD honors), Joe Lieberman, Fred Hiatt, Joe Klein, and John McCain.

Broder's wank-star rose to meteoric heights during 2007, and while he still trails his fellow Hall of Famers in number of honors, the sheer quality and depth of his wankage surely merits Hall of Fame status. An example, courtesy of Atrios:

Let me disclose my own bias in this matter. I like Karl Rove. In the days when he was operating from Austin, we had many long and rewarding conversations. I have eaten quail at his table and admired the splendid Hill Country landscape from the porch of the historic cabin Karl and his wife Darby found miles away and had carted to its present site on their land.

Truly nonpareil wankage by any standard.

Congratulations to the Dessicated Dean of Wankery, David Broder, the newest WOTD Hall of Famer!