Wanker of the Day: updated statistics

As the self-appointed Wanker Chronicler for Eschaton, I've tallied all of the the Wanker of the Day awards to date; perhaps you've seen the previous reports here, here, and here.

I'll work on finalizing the full list of all WOTD honorees (there are 547 awards and probably upwards of 400 honorees total, so it'll take a while), but in the meantime, here are your Top Ten Wankers of the Day as of today (Hall of Famers in italics):

1. Fred Hiatt - 23 24 (see below)
2. Glenn "Instawanker" Reynolds - 22
3. Joe Lieberman - 21
4. Joe Klein - 16
5. John McCain and Andrew Sullivan (tie) - 11
7. David Broder and Jonah Goldberg (tie) - 10
9. Richard Cohen - 9
10. John "Assrocket" Hinderaker, Michelle Malkin, Tim Russert, Rick Santorum, and Marshall Wittman (tie) - 7

There definitely is room for additional Hall of Famers, and it's probably time for another induction. So stay tuned ...

UPDATE (10:04 am 10/28/07): Proving himself a wanker for the ages, Hiatt took the honor again yesterday (Saturday), giving him 24 and a two-wank lead over Instawanker.

No, I won't update like this every day, but at least now I have a spreadsheet so I can keep track more regularly. (Goddamn, I'm a loser ...)

Lieberman: Wanker of the Century

Wanker of the Day Hall of Famer Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) got another nod today, and he joins Glenn Reynolds as the only Wankers to reach 20 such awards.

And boy, did he deserve this one.

Appearing on ABC’s This Week, Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT) used the foiled terror attempts in London to call for greater domestic spying here in the United States. Lieberman said, “I hope these terrorist attacks in London wake us up here in America to stop the petty partisan fighting going on about…electronic surveillance,” in apparent reference to the Senate Judiciary Committee’s subpoenas for documents related to Bush’s NSA warrantless wiretapping program.

Lieberman claimed, “We’re at a partisan gridlock over the question of whether the American government can listen into conversations or follow email trails of non-American citizens.” This is false; the NSA spying program covered the surveillance of American citizens. The “gridlock” exists over whether the administration will cooperate with Congress by explaining why it feels current law is inadequate and why President Bush decided to ignore the law in authorizing a spying program that almost led to mass resignations at the Department of Justice.

Here's something to keep you awake at night: How frightening is it that we were one Supreme Court justice's vote away from this guy being our vice president?

Then again ... maybe it's no more frightening than knowing who is our vice president.

Wanker of the Day update

By popular request, I am pleased to present the latest installment in the occasional series of Wanker of the Day statistics. For the previous tallies, or if you have no idea what "Wanker of the Day" is, go here and here. I just don't feel like writing all the background. So there.

The Hall of Fame currently has six members: David Broder, Fred Hiatt, Joe Klein, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, and Glenn Reynolds. All of those were in the charter class of inductees except Broder, who was added when Atrios declared him the first Wanker Emeritus.

And now, the updated list, as of today, of those lucky few who have wanked themselves to top honors at least four times:

19 - Joe Lieberman (in 2007: 3/29, 4/12, and 4/20, in addition to those shown in the prior tallies); and Glenn Reynolds (4/7) ... yep, it's a tie for the lead! Who will be first to 20? Maybe not Joe or Instawanker ...
18 - Fred Hiatt (4/5, 5/21, 6/3, 6/4)
17 - Joe Klein (4/23, 5/25, 6/7, 6/11)
10 - John McCain (4/1)
9 - David Broder (4/10 by vote, 4/26 as emeritus, 5/24); Jonah Goldberg (no new honors since last tally)
8 - Richard Cohen (no new honors); Andrew Sullivan (5/30)
7 - Michelle Malkin, Tim Russert, John "Assrocket" Hinderaker, Rick Santorum (no new honors for any of them)
6 - Marshall Wittman (no new honors)
5 - Bill O'Reilly, Peter Beinart (no new honors for either)
4 - Tom Friedman, Hugh Hewitt, Will Saletan (no new honors for any of them); George W. Bush, a/k/a Drunky McStagger (4/3)

Some anecdotes:

• Atrios named himself WotD for the second time on May 27; the first occurred on January 20, 2005.
• Hiatt's honors on June 3 and 4 make him only the second person ever to "win" on consecutive days (after Marshall Wittman, January 10-11, 2006).
• April 1 was the ninth multi-wanker day and the first since January 21, 2007.
• The only non-Hall of Famer to be a multiple honoree in this cycle (since the last tally) is Katie Couric, who wanked her way to the top spot on April 13 and June 9. She still has a ways to go, though, to catch up with the leading female wanker, seven-time WotD Michelle Malkin.

And so it goes until the next update ... the Hall of Famers continue to wank away, but there aren't a lot of current wankers waiting in the wings as potential candidates to join the Big Six. It doesn't take long, though -- if Klein and Hiatt have been WotD as many times since April 1 as Drunky McStagger has been in over two years, then there's real hope for a dark horse to reach the pantheon.

Keep wanking, pundits and pukes. The sky's the limit!

Wanker of the Day Hall of Fame: new inductee!

This morning over at Atrios' place, David Broder received the first Wanker Emeritus Award.

This gives him automatic entry into the coveted Wanker of the Day Hall of Fame. Broder is the sixth Hall of Famer, joining such luminaries as Glenn Reynolds (still the record-holder with 18 WOTD honors), Joe Lieberman, Fred Hiatt, Joe Klein, and John McCain.

Broder's wank-star rose to meteoric heights during 2007, and while he still trails his fellow Hall of Famers in number of honors, the sheer quality and depth of his wankage surely merits Hall of Fame status. An example, courtesy of Atrios:

Let me disclose my own bias in this matter. I like Karl Rove. In the days when he was operating from Austin, we had many long and rewarding conversations. I have eaten quail at his table and admired the splendid Hill Country landscape from the porch of the historic cabin Karl and his wife Darby found miles away and had carted to its present site on their land.

Truly nonpareil wankage by any standard.

Congratulations to the Dessicated Dean of Wankery, David Broder, the newest WOTD Hall of Famer!