Pardon me ... your guilt is showing

Some folks were surprised that Drunky McStagger didn't grant a whole slew of pardons to members of his crime syndicate just before leaving office. But the explanation is really quite simple.

If he pardoned, say, Scooter Libby, Dick "Dick" Cheney, Alberto Gonzalez, and the rest of his henchmen, Drunky would be putting his own ass on the line. How?

A pardon would remove all possibility of self-incrimination if the crime syndicate members were brought to trial, or even to congressional hearings. By definition, "self-incrimination" means that what you say may be used to prosecute you. Pardon = no prosecution = no self-incrimination. And therefore testimony may be compelled, and the witnesses wouldn't have the protection of the Fifth Amendment. Which in turn means they'd have to say where all of the responsibility for their criminal acts ultimately rests: at the top.

So, really, Drunky wasn't just hanging his pals out to dry. He was covering his own ass. And we must remember how important covering one's ass is to him.

Bye bye Tony

Another one bites the dust.

Tony Snow has announced that he's leaving the White House staff in two weeks. His last day, September 14, is the same as Karl Rove's last day, and three days before the official departure of Alberto Gonzales.

Although his unfortunate battle with cancer clearly has affected him, he's said that the reason he's leaving is because he's not making enough money as White House press secretary. This, of course, converts him from a potentially tragic figure into just another Bush crime syndicate jerk.

Also, I discovered this news because of a tremendous leap in hits on this sucky blog due to people searching for information on Snow's replacement, Dana Perino (right). I wrote about her when she first took over for Snow on an interim basis last March, and now my post is the 10th hit when you Google her name. Nice.

Well, Tony joins a long list of rats departing the sinking (sunken?) ship. I really do have sympathy for the guy for his illness, but to deny his illness and say that he's leaving for financial reasons? I think that's just ridiculous. If it's true, it's just sad, and if it's not true, then he's a bigger jerk for not being man enough to admit the extent of his illness.

See ya, Tony. Hopefully not having to lie and obfuscate on your boss' behalf in the future will give you better health ...

Your "liberal media" explains it all for you

The Alberto Gonzales resignation can only be good news for Republicans.

At least according to an op-ed that appeared on the front page of the Palm Beach Post this morning (but I had to find it elsewhere online). In the column, Sheryl Gay Stolberg of the New York Times (I presume it was in the NYT yesterday) describes why the hasty departure of so many rats from the sinking White House ship is a net positive for Drunky McStagger and the Bush crime syndicate:

The announcement on Monday that Gonzales will step down as attorney general — coming on the heels of the resignation of Rove, the chief political strategist — effectively removes two of the biggest targets on Democrats' hit list. Both were close friends and aides from Bush's days as Texas governor, and both were being cast by Democrats as symbols of what they regarded as the Bush administration's political excesses and failures.

For Bush, the departures are a good-news/bad-news situation. On the one hand, he can go into the next battle with Congress over the Iraq war — as well as another looming fight over legislation authorizing his domestic wiretapping program — free of the baggage both men carried. If the resignations remove some of the partisan tension between the White House and Capitol Hill, and get Rove and Gonzales off the front pages, they could help get Bush off the defensive as he struggles to salvage something of his second term.

On the other hand, the moves leave an already isolated president more isolated. A third Texas loyalist, Dan Bartlett, the former counselor to the president, left not long ago.

"It will undermine many of the Democrats' constant lines of attack, because they won't have Al Gonzales to kick around any more," Bartlett said in a telephone interview.

He added that the president would gain the chance to have "some people around him that have fresh legs to help him sprint to the finish."

Good thing Sheryl didn't miss her spinning class yesterday.

I know the MSM's primary goal is to make sure everything is okay for Republicans, and that even the most egregious acts like, oh, I don't know, soliciting gay sex in a public bathroom, are presented in such a way that it looks like the Democrats' fault (or, more specifically, Bill Clinton's fault). But is a "fresh start" really going to help Drunky's miserable failure of a presidency escape the "worst ever" label? I can't envision any scenario where that's possible.

But, you know, Sheryl, keep clapping and maybe the Wingnut Fairy will bring you some good news ... for Republicans.

Constitutional irony

As we've already seen, the resignation this morning of Alberto "Abu" Gonzales is completely permeated with irony. But there's one more irony I almost missed. And it's a doozy.

Abu's resignation is effective on September 17.

Constitution Day.

The mind boggles ...

Ironic Photo Juxtaposition of the Day

Courtesy of Yahoo! News:

click image for larger version

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Alberto Gonzales

Was there any doubt who would get the DS today? Shortest DS post ever ...

Gonzo is gone. 'Nuff said.

Pelosi's priorities

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi remains firmly opposed to impeachment. Here's why:

"The question of impeachment is something that would divide the country," Pelosi said this morning during a wide-ranging discussion in the ornate Speaker's office. Her top priorities are ending the war in Iraq, expanding health care, creating jobs and preserving the environment. "I know what our success can be on those issues. I don't know what our success can be on impeaching the president."

Democratic Party leaders do not have the votes to pass an impeachment resolution. And Democrats could be judged harshly for partisan gridlock, just as the American people turned on Congressional Republicans in the 90s for pursuing the impeachment of President Clinton.

In the first question of the morning, Pelosi was asked if she supported a proposal by Washington Rep. Jay Inslee to impeach beleaguered Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

The Speaker looked down and rubbed her temples wearily. "I would like us to stay focused on our agenda this week," she said. Today the entails finalizing ethics and lobbying reform. Tomorrow it will mean expanding children's health care and boosting Medicare benefits. By the end of the week the House will likely pass an energy bill and legislation will be brought to the floor that reins in the Bush Administration's warrantless wiretapping program.

Now, it's not like Nancy doesn't see what the rest of us see; she knows that the Bush crime syndicate is full of scofflaws and sycophants. But, like the concern trolls who infest the blogosphere, she doesn't seem to care all that much:

She is greatly disturbed by the lawlessness of this Administration and its contempt for checks and balances. "I take an oath to defend and protect the Constitution, so it is a top priority for me and my colleagues to uphold that." She notes the vigorous oversight hearings held by committee chairman like John Conyers and Henry Waxman.

But Pelosi sees impeaching Gonzales and his superiors as a distraction from the ambitious agenda she has crafted for the House. "If I can just hold my caucus together," she says, "I can take them to this progressive place."

Nancy, I've always liked you, but you're being completely inconsistent. I appreciate your priorities, but isn't "defend[ing] and protect[ing] the Constitution" not just "a top priority," but the top priority?

See, letting the Bush crime syndicate continue to deface and defile the Constitution is, by definition, a violation of your oath to defend and protect the Constitution. And that's true of every member of Congress. Be "greatly disturbed" all you want, but I don't see how that protects the Constitution.

You say, well, you don't have the votes. I call bullshit. An impeachment trial, be it for Gonzales or "Dick" or even Drunky McStagger himself, would bring to light all of the "high crimes and misdemeanors" committed by this "administration." Even people on the GOP side of the aisle are suggesting that impeachment is beginning to make sense, at least for Gonzales.

I have news for you, Nancy: the country already is divided -- 70/30 in favor of impeachment, last I looked. Your priority ought to be making sure the division -- you might even call it a cleavage -- doesn't get any worse ... and the best way to do that is to remove the dividers from office. Uphold your oath, Madame Speaker. Impeach the criminals, and let's begin to restore dignity to America.

(h/t watertiger)

Abu G comes to America's Glans™

Yes, His Embattledness spoke to the National Organization of Black Law Enforcement Executives in Fort Lauderdale this morning.

Embattled U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales made a trip to Fort Lauderdale Monday morning but steered clear of the controversy surrounding his recent congressional testimony in his speech to law enforcement officers.

Just days earlier, four U.S. senators asked an independent special prosecutor to look into perjury charges against Gonzales.

Instead, in his short speech to the National Organization of Black Law Enforcement Executives, Gonzales talked about federal efforts to curb violent crime, posing for photographs with law enforcement officers but taking no questions from reporters.

[...]

Gonzales received a warm reception in Fort Lauderdale, where he was asked to address the crowd of more than 300 law enforcement officers about six months ago.

"It's a safe haven out of Washington," said Elsie Scott, president of the Congressional Black Caucus. "It's a place where he can be comfortable and not be booed."

How much worse can it get when you're a Cabinet member who has to find a place where you won't be booed?

No word on whether Gonzales hooked up with Jim Naugle. I don't know whether they've ever met, but I'm sure they'd get along smashingly.

Believe it or not: an honest Republican

John McKay was one of the fired U.S. Attorneys whose ousters led to the current investigations of the Justice Department. McKay was appointed by Drunky McStagger in 2001, and he was canned last year after being added to a hit list in 2005.

McKay spoke yesterday in Portland, Ore. And he's not pulling any punches:

The action followed a close governor's election in Washington in 2004, won by Democrat Chris Gregoire, which Republicans had wanted him to investigate. He did not.

"My job wasn't to serve the Republican Party," he said.

While McKay denounced what he called a failure of leadership in the Justice Department and White House, he bemoaned questioning the ethics of all the department's staffers, especially when they investigate corruption by public officials.

"It is a reservoir of trust," McKay said of the Justice Department. "And so to do damage to that is a travesty."

McKay said he and the other fired U.S. attorneys decided to speak up about their dismissals after Gonzales testified to Congress that he would not use a provision in the U.S. Patriot Act to appoint replacements without congressional confirmation -- something the attorneys viewed as a lie under oath.

"I would have taken personal disappointment and even personal attack," McKay said. "But I couldn't be part of a lie."

He said he was personally hurt by Gonzales' actions because he had worked closely with him in the past and told lawyer friends it was good news when Gonzales was confirmed as attorney general.

"I said, 'You're gonna like this guy -- he's humble, he's honest, he's hard-working, and he's smart," McKay said. "And he's proved me wrong."

Well, it's obvious why he was fired.

Just ask Goodling, Schlozman, Scooter, Snow, and the rest of the Chimpy Youth. Their job is precisely to serve the Republic Party or, more accurately, the Bush crime syndicate itself, which has transformed the Republic Party from a party advocating less government to a party that thrives on fear-mongering and vile, vituperative rhetoric.

Before, say, 1980, I could perhaps have respected the Republic Party's positions, albeit not agreeing with them. Since then, however, they deserve only contempt. And frog-marching.

Nothing to see here

Yesterday, senior Justice Department cheerleader aide Monica Goodling testified before the House Judiciary Committee. Her testimony opened up significant questions about the veracity of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' earlier statements under oath.

So, naturally, the cable news networks covered it extensively, right?

Yeah, right.

During last night's 9-10 pm (Eastern) bloc, CNN had Larry King Live, MSNBC ran Scarborough Country, and Hannity & Colmes was on Fox News. All three covered the same lead story:

An argument between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View.

The testimony implicating the U.S. Attorney General in perjury was less important than some cat fight on a daytime talk show. Disgusting.

It's really a good news/bad news situation, I guess. The good news is that only about 30% of Americans still have faith in the Bush crime syndicate. The bad news is that 98% of the mainstream media is in the 30% of American idiots.

UPDATE (3:46 pm 5/24/07): Thanks for the link, Wayne. It's cool that Blast Off! is becoming a regular source for Florida's alternative press. :)

Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)

The curtain is closing rapidly on Alberto Gonzales' career as Attorney General.

Former Senior Counsel Monica Goodling just completed her testimony before the House Judiciary Committee, and in spite of fervent fluffing by the GOP members of that committee (Florida's contribution thereto, Ric Keller and Tom Feeney, a/k/a Dumb and Dumber, left their slime trail on the testimony), they couldn't avoid the truth.

Gonzales testified that he wasn't at a meeting when the firings of certain U.S. attorneys were discussed. Monica, however, says he was. So, one of them's lying. My guess is that the one with immunity isn't the liar.

Incidentally, let's keep in mind what all-star questioner Rep. Artur Davis (D-Ala.)* said on C-SPAN this morning. The scandal is not about the president or the AG firing the U.S. attorneys. Yes, they have every right to do that, even for political reasons, and yes, The Clenis™ cleaned house in 1993. What they can't do, however, is fire them for failing to prosecute members of the opposing party -- and that's what the investigation is all about.

So spare me your platitudes, Repukes -- your pal Alberto is done, ruined, and fucked.

(Special thanks to the lovely and talented Athenae for providing the "Crack Van" over at First Draft.)

---

* Rep. Davis was the unanimous choice of the Crack Van denizens as the star questioner. He elicited the most damning testimony, particularly about Gonzales' perjury and about Goodling's own criminal behavior, for which she was granted immunity. Indeed, even several of the other Democrats on the committee yielded their time to Rep. Davis. They obviously knew a good thing when they saw it.

Republicans need a bigger bus ...

... I'm referring, of course, to the bus under which they are throwing Alberto Gonzales. Only the most deluded, unstable Repukes (see, e.g., Bush, George W.; Hatch, Orrin, et al.) are standing by their man.

The latest to call for Abu G's resignation is "presidential hopeful" Mike "Remember Me?" Huckabee. (As an aside, if the AP calls you a "hopeful," that means you're less than a candidate. You're an afterthought. You're like a middle reliever for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.)

In an interview with Associated Press reporters and editors, Huckabee deferred to Bush on whether to fire Gonzales even as the candidate implied that the country's top law enforcement official should leave the post on his own given the furor over the dismissals of eight federal prosecutors.

"Sometimes the best position would be for the appointee to make the decision and not force the president to do so. You best serve the person you work for when you can decide that if you are a distraction that you no longer will create that level of problem for your boss," he said.

"The attorney general is clearly creating a major distraction for the president and for the administration and for the Republican Party," Huckabee said.

He spoke shortly after Bush gave Gonzales a strong vote of confidence and a few hours before the attorney general himself vowed to remain in his post despite bipartisan criticism of his leadership. At a contentious Senate Judiciary Committee hearing last week, Gonzales claimed dozens of times that he couldn't recall key details about the firings or about a meeting that records show he attended.

As the man who oversaw a state, Huckabee said there comes a point, as a chief executive, when "you need to start asking is this becoming a large distraction that's keeping us from doing the important things that we need to be getting done."

"It seems that a growing number of Republicans in Congress say, yes, it is a distraction," he said. "For reasons I don't fully understand, the president hasn't quite seen it that way yet."

Although Huckabee couched his comments, he took a harder line than other Republicans in the presidential race, including former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney who would only say Gonzales should be ousted if he interfered with a prosecution. One potential Republican rival, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, on Sunday reiterated his call for Gonzales to resign.

Huckabee and Gingrich? Abu better be updating his résumé.

Speaking of denial ...

Catching up on some news I missed while on vacation ...

Truly, the members of the Bush crime syndicate live in a bubble.

And President Bush said today that [Alberto] Gonzales' testimony in the congressional investigation of the firings of U.S. attorneys had "increased my confidence" in the A.G.

"The attorney general went up and gave a very candid asessment and answered every question he could possibly answer -- in a way that increased my confidence in his ability to do the job," Bush said, in response to a question from reporters in the Oval Office this morning.

"The attorney general has a right to recommend to me to replace U.S. attorneys… I have the right to replace them with somebody else," Bush said. "As the investigation went forward, it was clear that the attorney general broke no law."

"[T]his is an honest, honorable man, in whom I have confidence," the president said.

Clearly, the preznit saw some testimony other than what Gonzales actually gave. I mean, when you've lost Tom Coburn (R-You Kidding Me?) and John Cornyn (R-Box Turtle), it's time to cash in your chips:

Alberto Gonzales's tenure as attorney general was pronounced dead at 3:02 p.m. [Thursday] by Tom Coburn, M.D.

The good doctor, who also happens to be a Republican member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, made this clinical judgment after watching Gonzales suffer through four hours of painful testimony. The Oklahoman listed the cause of death as management failure and other complications of the Justice Department's firing of eight federal prosecutors.

"It was handled incompetently. The communication was atrocious," Coburn told the beleaguered attorney general. "You ought to suffer the consequences that these others have suffered, and I believe that the best way to put this behind us is your resignation."

[...]

"Mr. Attorney General, most of this is a stretch," said Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.).

"Why is your story changing?" demanded Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa).

"Significantly, if not totally, at variance with the facts," said Arlen Specter (Pa.), the committee's ranking Republican.

"Really deplorable," said John Cornyn (R-Tex.). After this blow, from an administration loyalist and an old Texas friend, Gonzales stuttered in his reply.

Oh, wait ... here's the part where Gonzales won his boss' undying loyalty and approval:

Explaining his role in the botched firing of federal prosecutors, Gonzales uttered the phrase "I don't recall" and its variants ("I have no recollection," "I have no memory") 64 times. Along the way, his answer became so routine that a Marine in the crowd put down his poster protesting the Iraq war and replaced it with a running "I don't recall" tally.

Take Gonzales's tally along with that of his former chief of staff, who uttered the phrase "I don't remember" 122 times before the same committee three weeks ago, and the Justice Department might want to consider handing out Ginkgo biloba in the employee cafeteria.

Memory is such a fleeting thing ... as is, we hope, the career of one Mr. Gonzales ...

News and views from afar

Well, Internet access where I am is spotty and apparently limited to the front desk area. Preferring to be social (there's a shocker, huh?), I'm not hanging out on the laptop ... although I might not be able to resist all weekend.

But I'm watching Headline News (the English language choices are few), and I had to comment on two factoids I read in their crawl.

First, kudos to the Vermont Senate, which passed a resolution calling for the impeachment of Drunky McStagger and his boss, Dick "Dick" Cheney. How loud will the calls for impeachment have to be before the House of Representatives finally acts?

Second, did Dana Perino really say that Alberto "VO5" Gonzales is doing a "fantastic job?" That's unconscionable, and Dana has lost all credibility if that's true. She's nothing but a hack for the Bush crime syndicate, and if the media had any scruples at all (yes, I know they don't), they'd either boycott the White House pressers or pepper young Ms. Perino with a withering barrage of questions about why she persists in defending these criminals. They're the real evildoers, after all ...

More to come ...

Kyle Sampson: Liar, liar, pants on fire

Hey, I never said this blog was mature.

But it turns out there was something pretty important in that document dump this morning. Kyle Sampson apparently lied when he said that there was only one replacement U.S. attorney identified prior to the firings of eight prosecutors, leading to the current Bush crime syndicate brouhaha. On the contrary, there were five potential replacements named:

E-mails sent to the White House in January and May of 2006 by D. Kyle Sampson, then chief of staff to Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, name potential replacements for U.S. attorneys in San Diego, San Francisco, Little Rock and Grand Rapids.

The disclosures contrast with previous statements from Sampson and other Justice officials. They have said that only Tim Griffin, a former aide to presidential adviser Karl Rove who was later appointed the top federal prosecutor in Little Rock, had been identified as a replacement candidate before the dismissals of the sitting U.S. attorneys.

"These documents uncover one of the most central and disconcerting contradictions we've seen so far," said Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.). "We have been told that there were no backups in mind to replace the fired U.S. attorneys, and these documents make it clear that there were."

Sampson's attorney and a Justice spokesman said yesterday that the candidates listed were only tentative suggestions and were never seriously considered. Justice Department spokesman Brian Roehrkasse said the list "reflects Kyle Sampson's initial thoughts" and "in no way contradicts the department's prior statements" about the lack of a candidate list.

Uh huh. Well, let's see what Sampson actually said:

Sampson told the Senate Judiciary Committee last month that on Dec. 7, when seven U.S. attorneys were sacked, "I did not have in mind any replacements for any of the seven who were asked to resign."

So, writing e-mails naming names isn't "in mind," Kyle? I beg to differ.

The obfuscation just goes on and on and on ...

Also released yesterday was a chart given to Gonzales in February that noted U.S. attorneys' political backgrounds and whether they were members of the Federalist Society, a coalition of conservative lawyers and legal scholars with close ties to the Bush administration. It is not clear when the chart was compiled, nor is it clear whether the Federalist Society information is accurate.

Another document, compiling internal Justice Department "talking points" about the fired prosecutors, disparages two U.S. attorneys -- in identical language -- about immigration enforcement.

Gonzales testifies before the House Judiciary Committee next Tuesday. Be sure to have plenty of popcorn on hand -- it's gonna be a doozy.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Monica Goodling

I made it through the surgery fine and am seeing better than I have since I was a child -- and it's supposedly going to continue to improve as time goes on. Thanks to everyone for your good wishes (especially Ripley and racymind, in comments on the last post).

So, back to the blog. Parting is such sweet schadenfreude :

Monica M. Goodling, the Justice Department's liaison to the White House, gave no reason for her resignation. Since she was at the center of the firings, Goodling's refusal to testify has intensified questions about whether the U.S. attorney dismissals were proper and heightened the furor that threatens Gonzales' own job.

"It has been an honor to have served at the Justice Department for the past five years," Goodling wrote Gonzales, advising him of her resignation effective Saturday.

"May God bless you richly as you continue your service to America," Goodling added.

Boy, the Justice Department is falling apart faster than Jenna Bush after the beer runs out. First Kyle Sampson, now Monica ... I hope they're holding the door open for Berto.

You could have seen this coming. I'm not talking about the resignation, but her wishing God's blessings on Abu. She's a mega-fundie, after all ... and she probably can't understand why all this stuff is happening to her. Maybe she should have removed the plank from her own eye first?

Well, I know this isn't the last we've seen of Ms. Goodling, but at least we're getting the obstacles out of the way before going to the big game: Gonzales himself. And somewhere, John "I Lost to a Dead Man" Ashcroft is thanking Jeebus that he left before the real shit hit the fan. Abu is so bad, he makes Ashcroft look reasonable. At least Johnny only worried about tits on statues.

So, congratulations, Monica, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

The Goodling Files

Monica Goodling, the now-infamous aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, has a most interesting background, according to a profile published last week in The Washington Post. I knew some of the facts, but not all of them:

Part of a generation of young religious conservatives who swept into the federal government after the election of President Bush in 2000, Goodling displayed unblinking devotion to the administration and expected others to do the same. When she started at Justice, "no job was too small for her," and as she moved rapidly up the ranks, none "was too large," Corallo said.

"She was the embodiment of a hardworking young conservative who believed strongly in the president and his mission," said David Ayres, former chief of staff to Bush's first attorney general, John D. Ashcroft.

This week, Goodling, 33, became the most prominent federal official to invoke the Fifth Amendment to avoid testifying before Congress since Lt. Col. Oliver L. North refused to answer questions -- until he received immunity -- during the 1986 Iran-contra hearings.

Goodling, now on an indefinite leave, most recently served as senior counsel to Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and as Justice's liaison to the White House. Her name appears on several e-mails about the firings of eight U.S. attorneys, and members of the Senate Judiciary Committee are eager to ask her about those dismissals.

Explaining why she invoked her right against self-incrimination, her lawyer, John M. Dowd, called the investigation "hostile" and said that some committee members "have already reached conclusions."

At [Thursday's] Judiciary hearing, senators questioned why she was still employed at Justice. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.), a former U.S. attorney, noted that the department encourages corporations to fire employees who refuse to cooperate with government investigations.

"I'm a little surprised that she's still there after taking the Fifth," he said.

To her supporters, Goodling's only mistake -- if she made one at all -- was not anticipating the political peril before the 2006 midterm elections.

Yeah, that's a pretty big "whoops." It's instructive to note that so many of the young "loyal Bushies" (and perhaps some of the older ones, too) just had no idea that their ability to wipe their collective asses with the Constitution might be compromised by a Democratic majority in Congress. Whoops, indeed.

Until this latest controversy, Goodling worked in such obscurity that newspapers did not have pictures of her. Regent University, where she attended law school, would not allow The Washington Post to use a picture of her that appeared on an alumni Web site.

Goodling majored in communications at Messiah College, a Christian school in Grantham, Pa., that does not have co-ed dorms or allow alcohol on campus. Her political science professor, Dean Curry, recalls her as a "bright, responsible young woman" who was student body president and "was very serious about politics."

Goodling enrolled in law school at American University but transferred to Regent, founded by religious broadcaster Pat Robertson in Virginia Beach.

Goodling and her lawyer declined to comment for this article, and classmates said they did not recall the reasons for her transfer. But "the curriculum at Regent is different from other law schools. There is an attempt by professors to integrate biblical principles into areas of the law," said Dugan Kelley, who worked with Goodling on Regent's moot court.

After earning a joint degree in law and public policy in 1999, she worked as a researcher for the Republican National Committee on the Bush campaign, then moved to the Justice Department's press office. She spent six months with the U.S. attorney's office in the Eastern District of Virginia. A friend and former department co-worker, Susan Richmond Johnson, said Goodling was also an amateur photographer and world-class baker of desserts, but had little time for a social life because she was "the first to arrive at the Justice Department in the morning and the last to leave at night."

"She is very motivated by her faith," Johnson added. "She doesn't wear her faith on her sleeve, but she lives a very faithful life."

Picture on an alumni website? You mean this alumni website? From which I appropriated a picture? Fair use, bitches. Methinks the WaPo might have a case.

I'm not trying to castigate Goodling for her faith. But does "liv[ing] a very faithful life" include engaging in and/or covering up criminal activity and hiding behind the very Constitution one has ignored until needed?

The sound you hear is my mind boggling.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Kyle Sampson

Kyle Sampson, 37, the former chief of staff to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee nearly all day today about the firing of the U.S. attorneys. His grim expression (right) pretty much sums up the whole day for him.

First, he gave a rambling opening statement that basically said there's no distinction between politically-motivated firings and firings for performance reasons, and he forewarned that he wouldn't remember all the facts. Um, okay. No surprise there. Later, in response to questions from Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), he essentially had to admit that Gonzales lied when he testified that there were "no discussions" of the firings within the department. Sampson said that there were "several" such discussions, and that the AG either knew about them or participated in them. Um, Berto, you'd better be doing more than updating your résumé ... you'd better clear your calendar for, oh, the next 18 to 24 months ...

See, in Kyle's world, U.S. attorneys should uphold the President's policies, and that includes being a "loyal Bushie." The performance for a Senate-confirmed presidential appointee than for a civil service job, sez Kyle. They have to "support ... the priorities of the President and the Attorney General." He clearly feels that any U.S. attorney who fails to do so should be subject to termination.

And that's where his logic fails.

Kyle's actions seem perfectly rational to him, and to all "loyal Bushies," because they have grossly conflated politics and government. Governmental duties are not and should not be political. Yes, of course politics plays a role in government, but there's a real, not artificial (that's Kyle's word) distinction between between politics and performance for all governmental employees, whether presidentially appointed or not.

Sampson understandably was nervous, but in trying valiantly to fall on his sword, he ended up throwing his boss under the bus. If for no other reason than that, li'l Kyle deserves all the schadenfreude I can stand to enjoy. So, congratulations, Kyle -- today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

But wait ... there's more!

While bouncing through the tubes today, I came across a gem from our good friend Ripley of The Zen Cabin. He wrote a diary on Daily Kos over a year and a half ago about the plethora of Utahns and specifically Brigham Young University graduates in the executive branch. In fact, says Rip, there are a lot of them in the Department of Justice alone:

Last week I stumbled across this article on the newswire.

WASHINGTON, Sept. 23 [2005] - Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales today announced the appointment of D. Kyle Sampson to serve as Chief of Staff at the Department of Justice. Sampson will succeed Theodore W. Ullyot, who will step down from the position to return to the private sector.

"Kyle is an outstanding lawyer, a strong manager, and a trusted counselor," said Attorney General Gonzales. "His service to the President and to me has been exceptional. I appreciate his leadership and loyalty, and I am pleased that he has agreed to serve as the Justice Department's Chief of Staff."

Sampson earned his law degree, with honors, from the University of Chicago Law School, where he served as Articles Editor of the University of Chicago Law Review. He earned his undergraduate degree from Brigham Young University.

Which led me to this, from the BYU website:

Although he may consider his role to be of small importance, some BYU graduates may not agree. Taylor Oldroyd, a friend of Sampson and member of the Bush Administration, feels he has been instrumental in assisting the Church. "Kyle has played a key role in many of the Administration's personnel decisions and is the reason so many BYU alumni, including myself, have positions in the Bush Administration."

Well, that just made me curious. So, I thought I'd do some poking around to see if there was anything to it.

[...]

So, in the Justice/Judiciary system, I've found:

• D. Kyle Sampson
• Timothy Flanigan
• Thomas B. Griffith
• Jay S. Bybee
• Michael O'Neill
• Robert Clive Jones
• Sheldon Bradshaw
• Ted Stewart
• Michael Mosman

Make sure you remember some of the players - you'll see them again.

(emphases mine)

Ripley. Nailed. It. Tip o' the Blast Off! Cap of Prescience to ya, Rip.

The tentacles of the Bush crime syndicate (or, if you prefer, Cabal) stretch far and wide, past and present. Let's stamp it out for the future.

Goodling to take the Fifth

Note I said "take," not "drink."

As a graduate of Messiah College and Pat Robertson's Regent University School of Law, Monica Goodling (right, from here) surely is far too devout to drink any of the devil's brew. But Ms. Goodling, aide to Alberto Gonzales, will refuse to answer questions when she appears before the Senate Judiciary Committee in the investigation into the politically-motivated firing of eight U.S. attorneys.

"The potential for legal jeopardy for Ms. Goodling from even her most truthful and accurate testimony under these circumstances is very real," said [her] lawyer, John Dowd.

He said that members of the House and Senate Judiciary committees seem already to have made up their minds that wrongdoing has occurred in the firings.

As Eschaton commenter res ipsa loquitur aptly notes, it actually sounds like Dowd has made up his mind that wrongdoing has occurred in the firings. The obvious point here is that Goodling, who has taken a leave of absence, knows something and she's going to rest on her right not to incriminate herself or others. I don't have a problem with her taking the Fifth -- it's unfortunate in this instance, but it's her right under the Constitution -- but you can see that the veil of deceit and malfeasance is dropping farther and faster every day.

You think the MSM will note how "poised" and "glamorous" Ms. Goodling is when she testifies, like so many of them did about Valerie Plame? I rather doubt it. Instead she'll be "strong" and "direct" and all the other things that characterize the Right, don'tcha think?

Remember, IOKIYAR. It's okay if you're a Republic(an). Besides, a D.C. scandal involving someone named Monica is so karmic ... now if Ms. Goodling just would wear a blue dress to the hearing ...

UPDATE (4:48 pm 3/26/07): Turns out Monica's used to not answering questions. From May 2004:

The Justice Department won't say. An employee in Clement's office referred a call from Salon last week to Justice Department spokesperson Monica Goodling. Asked what Clement or Ashcroft knew of the Abu Ghraib situation at the time of oral arguments in the Hamdi and Padilla cases, Goodling said: "We wouldn't have any comment." Pressed further, Goodling said the Justice Department would not have any comment at all about the Padilla or Hamdi cases.

So, she's accustomed to not commenting on DoJ activity. No wonder they chose her to work as Gonzales' aide.

Daily Schadenfreude, weekend edition: Alberto Gonzales

Well, ol' Alberto must be updating his résumé this weekend. Turns out he was lying about his involvement (or lack thereof) in the politically-motivated firings of eight U.S. attorneys. What a surprise. Not.

Last week, Gonzales said he "was not involved in any discussions about what was going on" in the firings of eight prosecutors that has since led to a political firestorm and calls for his ouster.

A Nov. 27 meeting, in which the attorney general and at least five top Justice Department officials participated, focused on a five-step plan for carrying out the firings of the prosecutors, Gonzales' aides said late Friday.

There, Gonzales signed off on the plan, which was drafted by his chief of staff, Kyle Sampson. Sampson resigned last week. Another Justice aide closely involved in the dismissals, White House liaison Monica Goodling, has also taken a leave of absence, two officials said.

I'm more convinced than ever that the Bush crime syndicate operates wholly on a web of lies and deceit, knowing that the only way they can retain their power is to falsify - whether it's documents or statements or whatever.

This isn't the normal schadenfreude feeling ... sure, I'm laughing at Gonzales, but I think it's just tragic for this country that we've had these unscrupulous assholes in charge for six years. Gonzales already is toast, and he'll have to step down in a matter of days, if not hours. However, I find it difficult to believe that he acted without authority from the White House.

Your loyalty will get you a pink slip, Alberto, and maybe even the jail cell you deserve. But while you're free and still employed, please accept my congratulations: this weekend's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!