Suck it, Dobson

Here's your weather forecast for Denver:

Today: Sunny, with a high near 81. East southeast wind between 6 and 9 mph.

Tonight: Mostly clear, with a low around 54. East wind 6 to 10 mph becoming south.

Suck it long, and suck it hard.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Rudy Giuliani

I hate to say I told you so, but ...

Okay, I also hate to link to the batshit crazy WorldNetDaily, but I've been saying all along that the fundies would never stand for Rudy Giuliani as the GOP presidential nominee. And it looks like I'm right, at least in part (that part being the wild-eyed batshit crazy fundies, as opposed to the merely batshit crazy fundies):

Some of the top leaders in Christian pro-family activism – including James Dobson of Focus on the Family – met in Salt Lake City yesterday to plot a strategy should Rudy Giuliani or another supporter of legalized abortion be nominated by the Republican Party as its presidential candidate.

Not only was there a consensus among activists to withhold support for the Republican nominee, there was even discussion about supporting the entry of a new candidate to challenge the frontrunners.

It's no secret that Dobson, founder of one of the largest Christian ministries in the country, has no use for Giuliani.

In June, he said: "I cannot, and will not, vote for Rudy Giuliani in 2008. It is an irrevocable decision. If given a Hobson's – Dobson's? – choice between him and Sens. Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, I will either cast my ballot for an also-ran – or if worse comes to worst – not vote in a presidential election for the first time in my adult life. My conscience and my moral convictions will allow me to do nothing else."

This is really not good news for Rudy. On the one hand, he obviously wants to win the GOP nomination. On the other hand, he knows full well that he can't win the White House without the batshit crazy fundie vote, and if the King of the Batshit Crazy Fundies says he won't support Rudy, none of them will.

And so Rudy once again takes home the coveted DS award ... and a well-deserved one, as all the money and work and plaintive bleats of "9/11! 9/11!" ultimately will lead to nothing ... other than this: congratulations, Rudy! Today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Newt and Jerry, sittin' in a tree ...

If ever two wingnuts deserved each other, it's Newt Gingrich and Jerry Falwell.

Newt Gingrich's admission of an extramarital affair as he pursued President Clinton's impeachment in the Monica Lewinsky scandal has won praise from another conservative Christian leader: the Rev. Jerry Falwell.

It's also helped to gain Gingrich an invitation to deliver the commencement address at Falwell's Liberty University. Gingrich is considered a possible Republican presidential contender, although he has not announced any intention to run.

In an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson that aired Friday, Gingrich admitted to the affair in 1998. In 2000, he divorced his second wife, Marianne, after his attorneys acknowledged his relationship with Callista Bisek, a former congressional aide now his wife.

"He has admitted his moral shortcomings to me, as well, in private conversations," Falwell wrote in a weekly newsletter sent Friday to members of the Moral Majority Coalition and The Liberty Alliance. "And he has also told me that he has, in recent years, come to grips with his personal failures and sought God's forgiveness."

Remember, kids, it's okay if you're a Republican. Yes, you can pretty much do anything you want, up to and including murder, so long as you aren't found, in those immortal words, with a live boy or a dead girl* (right, Mark Foley?).

Falwell, of course, is a shrewd judge of character (as long as you're a Republican):

Falwell, in his newsletter, said he has usually been able to tell when a man who has experienced "moral collapse" was genuinely seeking forgiveness. "My sense tells me that Mr. Gingrich is such a man," he wrote.

"I well remember the challenge we evangelicals faced in 1980 when our candidate, Ronald Reagan, was the first presidential candidate who had gone through a divorce. We wisely made allowance for God's forgiveness and America was the beneficiary of this historic champion," Falwell added.

Falwell "usually" can recognize "moral collapse." I presume his warranty doesn't extend to mirrors.

Last word: I heard that ABC is planning a sitcom based on the GEICO cavemen, from their ads. I think Jerry and Newt would be perfect in the roles of the madcap cavemen. Their attitudes fit the part like a glove.

* See, e.g., "Joe Scarborough Exception."

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: social conservatives

This might be my favorite Daily Schadenfreude so far, since I think ultimately it's social conservatism that has wrecked the direction of the country and turned politics away from serious debate about how our country should be governed and forced it into what happens in the bedroom ... but I digress ...

Social conservatives, or "people who have nothing better to do than to interfere in others' lives," don't think Gov. Crist has done enough to appease them, and they're "worried about the coming presidential election as well."

Just this week, Republican Gov. Charlie Crist said the state Republican Party should not spend any more money supporting an effort to ban gay marriage in Florida. The party gave $300,000 to florida4marriage.org, a group collecting petitions to get the ban placed on the ballot as a proposed amendment to the state constitution.

John Stemberger, an Orlando attorney who is leading the petition drive, said this is a time of "tough decisions" for social conservatives, who will have to carefully assess the candidates and work harder to protect the gains they have made in recent years, both in Florida and nationally.

It is a dramatic change from 2004, when Florida's social conservatives succeeded in helping Republican Mel Martinez, an opponent of abortion, win election to the U.S. Senate. They also contributed to President Bush's reelection victory.

By 2005, with the help of the White House, Congress and the governor's mansion, social conservatives were leading the battle to keep the husband of Terri Schiavo from removing her feeding tube. They lost, and now some leaders of the movement wonder whether they "overplayed their hand," as [former Florida Christian Coalition leader Pat] Neal put it.

I couldn't be happier to see the hand-wringing and pearl-clutching going on among these groups. The fact is that they did overplay their hand, and they didn't have a very good hand to begin with. The irony is that they found a home in the Republic Party, which at one time stood for less government, but which the hyper-religious nutjobs pushed into social issues that actually require more government intervention ... namely, Big Brother-style invasion of the home and the private lives of individuals.

The very idea that Gov. Crist isn't pandering to them like his predecessor Jeb! Bush (and Jeb!'s big brother, Drunky McStagger) is confusing and frustrating to the wingnuts, who are so used to Bush-style blind allegiance that they don't know what to do. Good.

The simple fact is, the days of the Christian right dominating the political agenda are over. Values are a deeply personal thing, and my values may not jibe with yours. But, no one has a right to tell me what my values "ought to be" or to tell me what I can and can't do, within the bounds of the law, as a consenting adult. And I don't have the right to tell you that either. Finally, Americans are getting the picture that a free society demands such individual independence, and the James Dobsons of the world are losing their stranglehold on us.

Get used to it, "social conservatives." Your days in the sun are coming to a swift and fitting end. But, one more chance for glory -- congratulations to the right-wing crazies! Today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!