Why Harry Potter will never teach in Florida

Hoo boy. Just when you thought it was safe to come out of your insanity-resistant cave comes news from Pasco County, north of Tampa, that explains rather clearly why Florida's legislature is crawling with batshit insane fundies. In short, it must be the batshit insane fundies who vote for them ...

Well, another Pasco County substitute teacher's job is on the line, but this time it's because of a magic trick.

The charge from the school district — Wizardry!

Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.

But after performing it in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes, Piculas said his job did a disappearing act of its own.

"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue, you can't take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'" he said.

When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell and went much farther than he'd hoped.

"I said, 'Well Pat, can you explain this to me?' 'You've been accused of wizardry,' [he said]. Wizardry?" he asked.

Tampa Bay's 10 talked to the assistant superintendent with the Pasco County School District who said it wasn't just the wizardry and that Picular had other performance issues, including "not following lesson plans" and allowing students to play on unapproved computers."

Piculas said he knew nothing about the accusations.

"That... I think was embellished after the fact to try to cover what initially what they were saying to me," he said.

Wizardry. Wizardry! Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket. What's next? The comeback of phrenology? Warnings about sailing off the edge of the earth? Leeches?

I'm not going to reopen the Batshit Crazy Bowl here, but I just don't know how anyone credibly can claim that there's a crazier, nuttier state in America than Teh Wang™. And even if you can, we'll have something to top it soon, I'm sure.

(hat tip to Eschaton commenter cahuenga)