Another lewd politician in Florida? Unpossible!

Thus far I have no evidence that would permit me to file this under the Florida GOP Police Blotter, but if that changes, I'll update accordingly. At any rate, we have another south Florida politician who's been arrested for lewd and lascivious conduct:

Former Mayor John Sommerer, who ran City Hall for 10 years, was arrested and booked by Coral Springs Police Wednesday on a charge of lewd and lascivious conduct.

Details of the alleged crime were not immediately available.

Sommerer served as mayor for 10 years, between 1994-2004.

Sommerer (pictured above), 60, is married and has four sons. Besides being a "family man," he has done some Republican-like things:

One of his pet projects was correcting the city's ZIP code glitch. He led the charge to try to convince the U.S. Postal Service for years that mail for city residents shouldn't be addressed to Pompano Beach, saying that the city has lost state revenue sharing funds and insurance premium tax allocations, which are distributed by ZIP code.

During his time in office he also pushed for the American flag to be displayed without showing signs of being tattered or worn-out, saying it was a dishonor to fly the flag in frayed condition and supported art being displayed in public places.

Of course, the lewd and lascivious conduct itself is "Republican-like" these days, isn't it?

Sommerer ran for office, as all Coral Springs officials do, as "nonpartisan," which makes party identification difficult. In addition, he appears not to have made any political contributions that could reveal his party alignment.

Still, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and engages in sexual misconduct (allegedly) like a duck (by "duck," of course, I mean "Republican") ... well, as I always say, it would be irresponsible not to speculate, wouldn't it?

UPDATE (3:33 pm 12/19/07): Well, it didn't take long for details of the allegations (PDF) to be made public. There are nine counts in the indictment, and they're pretty damn skeevy if you ask me.

Basically, you've got bad touching (as opposed to good touching, of course) of a person (evidently female) under 12; touching a person under 16 with his genitals; and coercing a girl -- presumably the same one in each case -- to (1) "utilize a hose to spray water over his exposed penis," (2) "ride on a motor scooter adjacent to him and not to wear an undergarment to cover her genital area," and (3) "retrieve a balloon or balloon-like object that he had positioned against his exposed genitalia while [they] were in a swimming pool... ."

I'm still trying to find out for sure if this guy's a Republican or not.

BC Bowl: Maybe they should call it "Pedophilia Manor"

(ed. note -- see replacement post above)

Now, I know it's not fair for me to take two turns on behalf of Florida in the ongoing Batshit Crazy Bowl, thereby skipping racymind's turn for Texas. But, honestly, how can anyone pass this up?

The Palace Mobile Home Park is a place that welcomes sex offenders. Ninety-five of these 200 residents are convicted sex offenders, including some pedophiles.

The adults-only, nondescript, low-income trailer park near St. Petersburg, Florida has gained a reputation among sex offenders on probation as a good place to live and stay out of trouble.

"Out there ... it's a jungle," said Michael, who did not want his last name used for this report. "In here, it's our own little piece of paradise. We're safe here."

[...]

In many ways, the Palace provides him a second chance at life. New laws across the country have limited where sex offenders and predators can live, banning them from places where children might congregate. This trailer park is far enough away from schools, churches, playgrounds and bus stops, allowing Michael to call it home without running afoul of the law.

"As a sex offender -- when you come out, you're told you can't do this; you can't be around children; you can't go to parks; you can't go to the beach; you can't go to the library," he said.

Nearly 600 sex offenders have lived here in the past couple of years, according to manager Nancy Morais, who said she was sexually assaulted by a family member as a little girl.

Not only does she allow the sex offenders to live here, she also offers therapy to help them become part of society again. "Put him on the right track, and we have a better chance of seeing society be a little bit safer with this person," she said. "Can I guarantee they're all gonna be good? Of course not."

That's right, folks: America's Wang™ is home to a trailer park for sex offenders. How nice that there's a place where they feel "safe." </snark>

Feelings among non-offender residents are surprisingly mixed:

But not everyone who lives here feels safe knowing they are surrounded by convicted sex offenders.

One resident, who asked not to be identified, railed against the trailer park's management for not informing them from the outset about this rehabilitation program.

"They told us nothing. My place is worth nothing now," the resident said, speaking in a whisper.

Another woman said she had no problem living among the offenders, but she said it comes with consequences: She won't allow her grandchildren on the premises.

Others don't seem to mind. Teresa Atkins moved into the Palace a year ago. She is not an offender and didn't know, at the time, that almost half of her neighbors were.

"I'm very safe here. None of these men want to go back to jail. They will do anything to keep from going to jail," she said.

I don't know exactly what it takes to be the batshit craziest state in America. I also know it's a subjective measure. But any state that has a trailer park that welcomes sex offenders, well, it's gotta be in the discussion ...