Enlightenment in Pensacola

I've lived in northwest Florida, affectionately known hereabouts as "America's Taint™," for almost two months now on this probably-temporary sojourn, and I've seen and read some pretty wacky right-wing garbage. So imagine my surprise to find a sane voice in the wilderness -- someone who actually "gets it," and who undoubtedly is raising the ire of the batshit crazy fundies and wingnuts in the area: Pensacola News Journal columnist Reggie Dogan.

Yesterday, Dogan dared to publish a column that was enlightened, well-reasoned, factual, and persuasive. This, naturally, means the fundies and wingnuts predictably won't be able to understand it, and what they don't understand, they attack vociferously (if vaguely and misguidedly). They'll hate it not so much because it's right, but because they think adopting its ideas might lead to the End of Life As We Know It ... yes, I'm talking about the legalization of drugs and prostitution. Take it away, Reggie*:

There is neither enough money nor manpower to track down, arrest and prosecute all drug dealers and prostitutes.

It is a waste of money and misuse of manpower, both of which could be better suited to chasing down and locking up violent offenders.

Prostitution and mind-altering drugs have been around for centuries. You can't stop it; you can only try to contain it.

One only has to look at history to see the folly of arresting people for consensual crimes, like drug abuse and prostitution. The sale and manufacture of alcohol was made a consensual crime during Prohibition. America still drank plenty of booze.

When alcohol was legalized again, the United States made plenty of money by taxing the sale of it.

It could do the same with drugs and prostitution.

If consensual crimes were legal, it would not only save America money, it would help it earn more. The Office of National Drug Control Policy estimates that Americans spend about $66 billion a year on drugs alone. This money does not usually enter the regular economy, but stays in the black market of drugs.

Not only could America tax consensual crimes if they were legal, it could also regulate them. The government would have to impose health standards, thus making the drugs and prostitution safer than they would be on the streets.

The laws seem to be in place to promote some sort of national morality. Well, there is no national morality.

It is time that our government stop treating its citizens like they are irresponsible children.

The people should be the ones to decide if they want to use drugs or buy sex, not the government and the church or antiquated laws and outdated mores.

Hoo boy, I can't wait for the fundies to get a hold of that, especially the last sentence. I can hear them now as they sit down at their computers to dash off a scathing letter to the editor: "Hey, Ellie Mae, how do ya turn this dang thing on?"

Seriously, though, while Dogan's ideas are hardly new, they'll do nothing in this community but stir up the pot (no pun intended) and get the righties ranting on the moral degradation of society, yadda, yadda. The intelligence and sensibility of legalization of these victimless crimes is directly proportional to the foaming-at-the-mouth fervor with which the Bible-thumping imbeciles here in the hinterlands will oppose it with all their might.

Sure, we all want to Save the World and come up with the solutions to our economic and cultural woes. The only difference is, the wingnuts won't tolerate anything but their world -- a world of ignorance, intolerance, Christian fanaticism, and hypocrisy. And so, around here at least, reasonable people like Reggie Dogan must feel like they're shouting at a brick wall.

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* By way of explanation for readers, Brownsville, mentioned in the column, is a Pensacola neighborhood plagued by crime.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Sarah Palin

And so the soap opera continues ...

Sarah Palin herself is only collateral damage here, because it doesn't really involve her personally. Still, it can't be good news for her that the other grandmother of her soon-to-be-born grandchild (via that loving couple Bristol and Levi) was arrested on drug charges yesterday.

Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

Johnston is the mother of Levi Johnston, the Wasilla 18-year-old who received international attention in September when Gov. Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, announced their teenage daughter was pregnant and he was the father. Bristol Palin, 18, is due on Saturday, according to a recent interview with the governor's father, Chuck Heath.

Troopers served the warrant at Johnston's home at the "conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation," said a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state.

Today, this is pretty much a local story in Anchorage. But what if, Jeebus forbid, Sarah Palin was VP-elect right now? Would it make a sound in the mainstream corporate media? (As an aside, imagine a parent of, say, Beau Biden's wife had similar legal trouble. Now imagine Fox News' coverage of that. See what I mean?)

And to top it off, Sarah becomes a grandma very soon, as Bristol is due tomorrow. This really puts the icing on the ol' cake for you, doesn't it, Guv?

Anyway, Sarah, as you figure out how to spin this little, um, setback, enjoy another moment in the sun, because today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Rush Limbaugh

This could only be bad news for my neighbor, Rush Limbaugh:

In response to the epidemic of opiate addiction, Purdue [Pharma] LP, the maker of Oxycontin, has developed a new version of the powerful painkiller that's "harder to abuse." According to an AP article, the government will soon be examining this new incarnation of the drug and evaluating the manufacturer's lofty claims. How could this drug be made "abuse-resistant?" Details, inside...

Oxycontin, essentially a synthetic opiate, was developed in 1996 and hailed as a breakthrough in painkillers. It was designed to be swallowed and digested over a period of 12 hours in order to keep a steady flow of medication available to pain sufferers. It wasn't long before abusers discovered they could achieve a heroin-like high if the pills were crushed and snorted or prepared into an injectable solution.

The DEA found that the deaths from this class of drugs quintupled by 2001. Amidst the growing number of lawsuits and pressure by the FDA, Purdue Pharma developed an abuse-resistant version of the drug. The company has developed a plastic-like coating that is fused to the tablet making it difficult to crush. The coating is also designed to transform the pill into a "gelatinous mess" if the user tries to prepare it for injection. Purdue Pharma says the new pill dissolves just as effectively as the current pill when used properly.

Oh, dear. What's a stupid, self-aggrandizing right-wing blowhard drug addict to do?

Perhaps the Dominican pool boy will be replaced. Don't worry, though, Rush. I hear Colombia is lovely this time of year ...