BC Bowl: Paging Sen. Santorum

It's been a very long time since I've even felt the need to demonstrate that Florida really is the batshit craziest state in America. But in the spirit of the new year, let's revive our rivalry with Texas (represented by the lovely and talented racy mind) and bring back the Batshit Crazy Bowl with a ... bang.

Courtesy of the Florida Progressive Coalition Blog, here's some useful information for those visiting or living in Florida:

Bestiality could be banned in Fla. following goat rape

After a goat was raped and killed in the Panhandle town of Mossy Head, animal activists, cops and citizens were almost as shocked to find out that bestiality isn’t a crime in Florida.

But not for long.

A Sunrise state senator and a St. Petersburg representative have filed legislation to make it a first-degree felony to have sex with animals.

"It’s true. It’s sick. There needs to be a law," said Democratic Sen. Nan Rich, a longtime crusader for children and animal rights. "There are 30 states that make this a crime. Florida isn’t one of them."

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist said he would sign the bill into law if it made it to his desk.

Rich said she was as shocked as she was "disgusted" when she learned of the rape and asphyxiation of a family pet goat named Meg who was pregnant with twins last year in the town of Mossy Head in rural Walton County.

A suspect in the case, a 48-year-old man, is serving an 11-month, 29-day jail sentence on animal-theft charges in connection with the attempted abduction of another goat in a separate case, according to Walton County Assistant State Attorney James Parker.

The case has it all: From a rape kit to Milk Bone Dog biscuits to a guy selling charity T-shirts for the "Mossy Head Gentlemen’s Club."

I'm still laughing at what Kenny Quinnell said about this over there at FPCB:

Okay, here are the questions this article raises:

1. “Could” be banned?
2. Seriously, a goat?
3. And why kill the goat? Afraid it was going to report the crime?
4. Bestiality isn’t illegal in Florida?
5. Only one legislator is on board with making it a crime?
6. The goat was pregnant with twins. Was this before or after….?
7. This wasn’t the guy’s first attempt?
8. Milk Bone dog biscuits?
9. Can somebody get me one of those “What Happens in Mossy Head, Stays in Mossy Head” T-shirts[?] I can think of a certain Republican legislator who needs one.

Actually, I thought of three more questions:

In which 20 states is this not illegal?

Has anyone seen Mickey Kaus lately?

How many jokes can you make out of this having occurred in "Mossy Head?"

Why are Republicans more scandalous than Democrats?

During Mark Weaver's debut on Florida Progressive Radio today (congratulations, Mark!), I had occasion to call in and discuss with him the latest scandal involving a Republican in Florida. Yesterday, St. Petersburg City Council chairman John Bryan resigned his seat following a custody hearing in which he answered allegations of sexual misconduct with two teenage daughters. Bryan then drove to his home in Citrus County and committed suicide. Somewhat ironically, his body was discovered by a St. Petersburg Times reporter who was seeking an interview with Bryan.

I was trying to think of an angle on this on which to write my first substantive post at the FPC Blog that wouldn't seem like I was making fun of Bryan's death, and my conversation with Mark gave me that angle. Why does it seem that Republicans are more scandal-ridden than Democrats? Blast Off!'s Florida GOP Police Blotter already has five names in little more than a week, but with the exception of former Broward County sheriff Ken Jenne, few Democrats seem to show up on the scandal sheets. But whether it's sexual shenanigans or financial malfeasance, it's Republicans who fall farther and faster almost every time.

My feeling is that Republicans, who supposedly represent "family values" (whatever that means) and the Religious Right, are forced to suppress those urges and feelings that a Democrat might be more inclined to express freely. I'm not talking about child molestation here at all, of course, but whether it's homosexuality or fetishes (David Vitter, I'm looking at you), Democrats don't have to hide their true selves as much as Republicans do. So, when the Republicans' stories break, they break big. Add on a healthy layer of hypocrisy for those like Larry Craig and Blowin' Bob Allen who have voted and advocated against their own interests, and you have a scandal ready for the headlines.

Financial scandals, I think, tend to be more evenly divided between the parties. For every Angelo Cappelli on the right, there might be a William Jefferson (D-La.) on the left. So, for the sake of argument, let's call that a wash.

What is it, then? Am I right that Republicans culturally and ideologically are more prone to scandal because of repressed, yet (except for pedophilia) normal feelings and desires? Is it just a matter of sexual scandal, or is there something about the GOP being friendly to big business (i.e., money) that makes them engage in financial misconduct more frequently than Democrats as well?

(Cross-posted at Florida Progressive Coalition Blog)

Don't it make my red state blue?

Thanks to the efforts of, among others, Ken Quinnell of the Florida Progressive Blog, and building from the success of the blogger/netroots luncheon at the Florida Democratic Party's Jefferson-Jackson Weekend last month, the Progressive Florida Virtual Think Tank (PFVTT -- we need a better acronym!) soon will be connecting progressive bloggers, writers, thinkers, and "doers" (these are, of course, overlapping categories) throughout the Sunshine State.

With a network of progressives stretching from Pensacola to Jacksonville, from Lake City to Key West, we will be poised to ensure that this swing state swings left in 2008 and beyond. As Ken puts it:

This will be your one-stop shop for everything on activism and politics in the state. If you want to form a group, this is where you’ll go. If you want to win an election, this is where you’ll go. And this won’t just be strategy, it will be data-driven as well. That stuff you learned at DFA training about targeting voters, eventually, we’ll have all that data for you and will run the basic analysis, too. We’ll need your help on this one — especially those of you who are candidates or who win elections — but we’ll give you help, too. The whole thing won’t be open to the public, just to trusted progressives and Democrats in Florida. We don’t want the other side stealing our ideas and strategies, do we?

There's already a strong linkage among Florida progressives, but the PFVTT will organize it from a loose collection of individuals into a lean, mean, fighting machine. I'm excited to be a part of it, and I hope if you're a progressive here in America's Wang™, you'll join me and many others to make this red (well, kind of mauve) state blue ... for good.