Too stupid to breathe: Gerry Watts

Just when I thought it was safe to read City Link again after they published last week's moronic screed about Sarah Palin comes another MBF (moronic brownshirt fuck) trying to defend the Sweetheart of the Red-eo, once again published in CL as a response to Dan Sweeney's excellent deconstruction of the Palin phenomenon. I shouldn't complain -- Sweeney warned me via e-mail. But still, the depth of stupid that is required to write such a letter (scroll down to "Reader's Corner") is truly remarkable.

Here's the letter, like last week's, in its entirety, which is the only way you fully can appreciate the essence of wingnut.

I recently read Dan Sweeney's Sept. 3 column ["Mixed nut"] and found it extremely insulting. I am a white, fairly moderate Democrat and a former Hillary Clinton supporter, though I will always support her. I would like to know what qualifies Sweeney to trash Sarah Palin and call her a nut? That is un-American and just plain not nice. What state has he ever run? Is he as smart as Palin? Barack Obama and Joe Biden between them have never run a business or been a CEO of anything. I find when people are attacked, it's because the attacker is feeling threatened. I don't see Sweeney attacking Michelle Obama for what she said about her country. Wow! What a first lady she would make!

I could give you a million reasons why I wouldn't vote for Obama. I just plain don't trust him. Talk about your Manchurian Candidate. Anyone can give a good speech. He gives a great one but says nothing. Where is his experience? No one can answer that but they sure attack Palin, who has more experience.

One thing no one can deny: John McCain is honest, patriotic and a true American. I didn't like when Hillary was criticized, when they tore down Bill Clinton and now this poor woman. What is so bad about being pro-life? Her baby would be dead if it was up to Sweeney. He is the nut.

Barack Obama is no JFK. Michelle Obama is no Jackie. For the first time in my life, I will be voting Republican on Nov. 4, as will my family — all 72 of them.

Gerry Watts
Boca Raton

One thing I'll give the Republicans credit for: they do a bang-up job of twisting words into something not meant by the speaker, but declared to be Bad and Un-American and Insulting by those in the know (meaning, of course, themselves). The Michelle-Obama-hates-America thing keeps on going, even though her exact quote -- "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country" -- never even insinuated that she hates America and, indeed, it's a fairly defensible position to take after, for example, the years of Reagan and Bush and the Clinton administration dogged by a right-wing Congress. Another example: the "lipstick on a pig" kerfuffle, wherein Barack Obama used that common saying appropriately and generically to criticize Huggy Bear's choice of Palin as a running-mate, but the wingnuts wailed and gnashed their teeth and rent their garments, contending that he was calling Palin herself a "pig." It must suck to be as delusional as a Republican.

But I digress ... let me get back to today's powerful stupid, courtesy of Gerry Watts.

First and foremost, you've got the PUMA issue right at the outset -- the (alleged) Hillary Clinton supporters who are So Fucking Mad At Obama that they won't vote for him and, in some cases, claim that they will vote for Huggy ... even though Sen. Clinton herself continues to urge her supporters to do the smart thing and vote for Sen. Obama, whose positions are so much closer to hers than are Huggy Bear's that it's laughable to even consider voting for Huggy.

Again, credit where credit is due: Huggy Bear chose a batshit crazy woman, true -- but he chose a woman, thereby intentionally muddying the water and trying to attract voters -- PUMAs and others -- who see Sarah Palin only as a vaginal-American and not as the borderline insane, secession-advocating, grudge-holding, silly-name-giving person she really is.

(By the way, my friend NTodd will be examining the PUMA phenomenon today on his radio show, PaxLive, at 3pm Eastern -- don't miss it!)

Dammit, I did it again ... okay, back to Watts.

Has Sweeney ever run a state? No. Have you, Gerry? No. Neither have I. But none of us are trying to be vice president, and for that high a position, generally it takes more than two years running a tiny (population-wise) state as a personal fiefdom, preceded by four years as the near-totalitarian mayor of a town small enough to fit completely in most Florida high school football stadiums.

Which brings us to the experience question. Somehow, Republicans (and deluded alleged Democrats like you, Gerry) seem to think that Barack Obama just fell out of the sky when he was elected to the U.S. Senate in 2004. They conveniently forget, for starters, the nearly eight years he previously spent as a state senator in Illinois. He took office there in 1997, at which time Sarah Palin had been mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (population in 2000, 5,469; population in 1990, 4,028) for a year, after four years on the Wasilla City Council. By way of comparison, the average population of an Illinois state senate district is over 217,000. While Obama was a student at Harvard Law School, Palin was a sports reporter for an Anchorage television station. So, Gerry, you can take your experience argument and shove it up your ass. "Where is his experience?" Well, now you know -- if you followed my directions, it's up your ass.

And you say, Gerry, apparently without irony, "John McCain is honest." Well, maybe that depends on your definition of "honest." Can a candidate for president lie 60 times (to date) during his campaign and still be "honest?" If so, Gerry, then I guess you're right, by your standards. But I think most people would look at 60 lies and declare the person who told those lies "dishonest."

"What is so bad about being pro-life?" Well, frankly, nothing especially, I suppose. The problem is when the pro-life people tell the pro-choice people that they aren't allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. If you're pro-life, that's cool. Just don't tell women that you deserve to have control over their bodies! That's what Sarah Palin wants, you know -- for herself and her political cronies to have control over the bodies of American women. That's not pro-life -- that's pro-Nazi, Gerry.

"Barack Obama is no JFK. Michelle Obama is no Jackie." Nice strawman there, Jackie. Did anyone claim they were? No. You just made that shit up out of thin air so you could use your own strawman to oppose the Obamas. Frankly, Gerry, your argument skills suck ass. I mean, even fucking Jorge Velez, stupid though he was, could put together a cogent -- albeit fucking ridiculous -- argument.

And 72 members of your family? What are you, the Osmonds? Actually, given your hypermoralistic, shallow, oblivious opinions, that actually would make some sense.

Please shut the fuck up, Gerry Watts. Oh, and Dan Sweeney? Please ask your editors not to publish anymore batshit crazy letters from people attacking your column. I mean, I know morons like that are out there ... I don't have to be reminded how stupid they are every week in City Link! (Thanks in advance ...)