Facebook polls suck: a rant in one act

So there I was, blithely skipping through Facebook for a minute this evening whilst waiting for the dryer to finish, when I came upon this little vomitous, wingnut-induced treat, one of Facebook's ubiquitous poll questions:

Question: "Should the United States President be allowed to do a nationwide address to our children at school, without prior parental consent?"
- Yes
- No
- Maybe

Jesus H. Christ in gym class, are they fucking serious? Who could possibly object to the president addressing students in school? Moreover, what the fuck does parental consent have to do with anything? This isn't a "Puberty And You" filmstrip, for fuck's sake -- it's the president of the United States!!

Oh, wait ... the batshit-crazy wingnuts put this out there. I get it. See, it was all fine and dandy when that hunky he-man Ronald Reagan and his loyal sidekick George H.W. Bush spoke to kids when they were each White House residents ... but now ... well, now things are different, aren't they? And you know what I mean by "different" ... wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

This explains the brief tweets I saw today, which I previously hadn't had time to explore further, about Republican Party of Florida chairman and preeminent douchebag Jim Greer, who proclaimed that President Obama's planned speech to kids is designed to "indoctrinate" students into a "socialist ideology."

Jim, you ignorant slut. Fuck you, you moronic, disingenuous asshole. You wouldn't know a "socialist ideology" if it kicked you in the ass (which, incidentally, I wish it would) -- because you know as well as I do (or you should, if you have even an ounce of sense) that Barack Obama isn't even a liberal, let alone a socialist. Your fear-mongering, sycophantic drooling in response to some shit Glenn Beck spews forth on his pathetic excuse for a television show isn't even worthy of a response, but just in case anyone out there is reading this and thinks that you have even a minute, tiny shred of credibility left, let me disabuse them of that notion:

• Main Entry: so·cial·ism
• Pronunciation: \ˈsō-shə-ˌli-zəm\
• Function: noun
• Date: 1837

1 : any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods

2 a : a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b : a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state

3 : a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work done

No matter how much you cretins bluster about "socialism," nothing President Obama or the Democrats in Congress are proposing is anything remotely close to abolition of private property. You must think the American people are a bunch of idiots! Oh, right, you Republicans like it that way.

I'm betting we'll see a veritable army of moronic brownshirt fucks keeping their kids home from school on Tuesday, just so they don't have to be forced to sit through a speech by that ... that ... black guy in the White House. That's okay -- it's not like those kids are likely to learn anything anyway, coming from households where Fox News and Sarah Palin undoubtedly reign supreme.

So, you know, stay classy, Facebook. Thanks for continually reminding us that there are people out there whom I would characterize as "dumb as a box of rocks," except that it would be insulting to boxes of rocks.

An open letter to teabaggers and others who hate our government

Saw this posted on Facebook the other day and thought I'd share it with you. It's made the rounds and actually is a little dated, so perhaps you've read it already, but it bears repeating, and it's pretty much spot on.

I AM AN AMERICAN ANTI-GOVERNMENT SHITHEEL

This morning I was awakened by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I got into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposited any mail I had to be sent out via the US Postal Service and dropped the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, enjoying another two meals which again did not kill me because of the USDA, I drove my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which had not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which had not been plundered of all its valuables, thanks to the local police department.

I then logged on to the internet, which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and posted on freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

The only reason government doesn't work is because conservative Republican administrations defunded and/or patronage staffed it with people with ties to special business interests --for example, the last FDA, Dept. of Interior and Agriculture under Bush. No one in the halls of modern "conservatism" seems to have had a problem with pumping over $500 Billion to the Defense Department, which last I hear is a socialized entity.

Just saying.

Really, I just want to throw this in the face of every smarmy little punk who rails against the supposed excesses of government. You don't even know what socialism really is.

You don't like government? Fine, then pave your own roads and put out your own fires and police your towns yourselves, assholes ....