Florida gun nuts: breaking records through paranoia

It should come as a surprise to no one that gun permits and applications in Florida are on a record pace, as barrel-strokers with small penises* throughout the state react to an alleged threat that has virtually no chance of happening -- and even if it does, they're not going to immunize themselves by buying now. Wow, talk about stupid ...

Anyway, here are the facts:

Florida gun owners are grabbing up concealed-weapon permits at a record pace.

It might be concern for President Barack Obama's record on guns or fear that a bad economy will cause crime to rise, or reaction to last year's guns-at-work law. Or maybe a combination of all three is behind the rapid rise in applications for pistol-toting permits, state officials say.

"We're still sitting on about 50,000 applications," said Agriculture Commissioner Charles Bronson. "We're getting in about 14,000 or 15,000 a month and whenever they get a good slug out, they're getting another 15,000 in."

Bronson went to the Legislature last spring for authorization to hire 61 temporary employees — bringing the total to 202 — who have helped whittle down a backlog that then stood at 90,000 for all types of concealed-weapon permits. The backlog, alone, was roughly equal to all the applications received in 2008 — 90,331 — and the department received 75,520 applications in the first six months of this year.

That puts the state on pace for nearly 150,000 concealed-weapon permit applications this year. Most applications are approved, department spokesman Terence McElroy said, because the law allows any law-abiding gun owner to get a license. Few crooks are dumb enough to plunk down the $117 application fee if they have a felony record.

Oh, wait, it gets better. Check out what the NRA has to say about this:

Marion Hammer, a former president of the National Rifle Association who has lobbied the Legislature on guns for decades, is not surprised by the jump.

A law passed last year prohibits employers from banning guns in the workplace as long as they're safely locked in employees' cars. That led many to seek concealed-weapon permits to allow them to do so.

Obama's record as an Illinois legislator and U.S. senator also was alarming, Hammer said, along with the confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor and the congressional clout of Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Ca.

"It really shouldn't surprise anyone that the changes in the political landscape are driving a lot of these applicants," Hammer said. "There are over 6 million gun owners in Florida, people who care about freedom, who care about the Second Amendment, who are concerned about their ability to protect themselves."

Hold on ... I thought Obama was coming personally to take away everyone's guns? He's going to get help from Schumer and Pelosi? And Justice Sotomayor? Wow -- I hadn't heard that one yet.

The article goes on to quote a spokesman from the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, who injects some much-needed sanity into the debate.

"It's a little bit absurd. It's paranoia to a certain extent," [the Brady Campaign's Peter] Hamm said. "We've seen nothing out of this administration whatsoever. Law-abiding citizens who are getting permits because they think the government is coming to take their guns away are just wrong — it's an absurd, cartoonish myth."

Yes. Precisely. I mean, the Obama administration has permitted concealed weapons in national parks, for crying out loud. Let me make this clear: No one is coming to take away your guns. (Even though I personally wouldn't mind if they did.) And you firearm fellators out there who think that getting your permits now will shield you? Granted, you won't lose your guns, but a higher tax on ammunition is just going to get you even more. Didn't think about that one, did ya?

But what would you expect from the state where the Agriculture Commissioner, who supervises the processing of gun permit applications, is named Charles Bronson? Or where a candidate seeking to replace Bronson in the 2010 elections, state Sen. Carey Baker (R-Eustis), owns a gun shop and is an NRA Life Member?

All this from a gross misreading of the Second Amendment. It'd be funny if it weren't so tragic.

UPDATE (3:39 pm 8/11/09): I seem to have struck a nerve out in Idaho.

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* Based on my assumption that the vast majority of gun owners have, um, endowment issues; the size of their gun is inversely proportional to their penis size. I think.

Blast Off! Radio today at 4:00 pm EDT: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

It's been a very interesting week in Florida and national politics, and I've been privileged to experience some of it personally. After attending the Florida Democratic Party's Jefferson-Jackson festivities in Miami Beach this weekend, I was pretty highly motivated and ready to dive back into another week of liberal intrigue and excitement (if there is such a thing). Then came the news of the assassination of Dr. George Tiller, and suddenly I saw in stark relief the battles that still lie before us as progressives in America today.

Today on Blast Off! Radio, I'll share my thoughts about the Tiller killing and the causes that seem to have impelled Scott Roeder to commit murder (allegedly). In a larger sense, though, I'm thinking about inflammatory right-wing rhetoric and its effect on those most susceptible to it ... as we saw with the most horrific results yesterday.

But of course, I also want to spend some time reviewing Jefferson-Jackson, especially with regard to the role of the netroots there (and how we scooped all the major press on at least two highly significant stories -- yeah, one of those was mine). I'll talk about the latest in the school prayer fiasco going on in Santa Rosa County, where Pace High School's graduates "spontaneously" recited the Lord's Prayer at Saturday's graduation ceremony. And I'll respond to the baseless, scurrilous charges of state Rep. Luis Garcia (D-Miami Beach), who accused me of resembling corrupt Republican, former House speaker Ray Sansom. Shocking!

There'll be plenty more, including the Sotomayor nomination and what the Republican Party of Florida might be thinking ... but as always, the show depends on you, the listener, to really make it work. Here's how to listen and participate:

TIME: 4:00 pm Eastern TODAY

Click here to listen

Call in number: (646) 716-7543

E-mail: blastoffradio-at-gmail-dot-com

Please mark your calendars now to join me this afternoon for what promises to be an entertaining yet profoundly thought-provoking hour.

No filibuster on Sotomayor nomination ... provided Mel Martinez is a man of his word

One curious (and wholly predictable) phenomenon of the Democratic majority in Congress and the White House has been the degree to which Republicans' past statements can be used against them. On topics like the unitary executive and respect for the president, GOP leaders who were all for them from 2001 till 2009 regularly have been revealed as the hypocrites most thinking people knew they were all along now that Barack Obama occupies the Oval Office.

Another such topic that drew a lot of attention from media and the public alike during the Bush crime syndicate's reign of error was judicial appointments. There are innumerable examples of Republican senators chastising the Democrats for allegedly obstructing Bush appointees, but they've made noise recently about reversing themselves on the filibuster option.

Well, folks, never fear. Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) has stated on the record that he will oppose filibusters and insist on an up-or-down vote for judicial nominees. At least that's what he said shortly after taking office in 2005:

As part of my duties as Senator, according to the Constitution, I have the obligation to provide ‘advise [sic] and consent’ on judicial nominees. I am unable to fulfill this duty when qualified judicial nominees are denied the opportunity for an up-or-down vote on the Senate floor.

I have not been a part of the partisan struggles of the last 12 years [1993-2005], and I know there is a lot of water under the bridge on both sides regarding judicial nominees. But I think we need to put the partisanship behind us and look at ways to resolve this in a way that doesn’t exacerbate the partisan atmosphere of the Senate even further. We need to do a better job of working together to do the people’s business.

However, as I traveled the highways and byways of Florida, one of the issues I heard about time and time again was that people wanted to see judges confirmed. I promised I would fight for up-or-down votes for all judicial nominees. I am still hopeful that we can come together, but I will vote if necessary to end the unprecedented filibustering of judicial nominees from having their vote on the Senate floor.

It is an integral part of maintaining a high-caliber judiciary that nominees are treated fairly and with respect. If we continue down this path and leave nominees in limbo for years – as has become common practice – we will be unable to recruit high-level attorneys to leave private practice and serve our federal judiciary. These people deserve their vote on the Senate floor.”

There presently are 59 Democratic senators (pending the seating of Senator-elect Al Franken (D-Minn.) and including newly-Democratic Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania), just one vote shy of the number needed to invoke cloture and force an end to any filibuster. So, presuming all the Democrats stick together (I'm looking at you, Harry Reid), just a single crossover Republican will ensure that no filibuster can hinder the swift confirmation of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Sen. Martinez is not running for reelection next year, so he faces no real risk of political fallout either within the Senate or from his constituents. So, how about it, Senator? If push comes to shove, are you going to keep your word?

(h/t to Eric Jotkoff of the Florida Democratic Party)