More license plate madness

Hey, remember the "I BELIEVE" license plate about which I rather vehemently ranted a year ago? It didn't make it through the Legislature last year ... but it's back, sponsored once again by none other than state Sen. Ronda Storms (R-Batshit Crazy Land).

Only this time, it has a companion plate that might be -- if possible -- even more objectionable:

Jesus H. Christ on a Florida license plate, it's Jesus H. Christ on a Florida license plate! Just in case "I BELIEVE" (see below) wasn't unconstitutionally insipid enough, now we've got this one to, um, hammer the last nail into the separation of church and state ... so to speak ...

The Florida Senate preliminarily approved these plates, among others, on Friday, but final authorization has a few hoops left through which to jump. There still needs to be a vote by the full Senate, which is pretty much the only hope of preventing this travesty since the overwhelmingly wingnut state House is almost certain to jump on the Christianist bandwagon for this one; likewise Republican Gov. Charlie Crist.

The floor debate on the Jesus plate got a little interesting:

Boca Raton lawyer Ted Deutch repeatedly asked [plate sponsor Sen. Gary] Siplin, a fellow Democrat, to describe the image on the license plate.

“The Trinity license plate has the picture of my lord and savior Jesus Christ on it,” Siplin, D-Orlando, said.

Proceeds from the tag will go to the Toomey Foundation, a natural sciences organization.

The chamber also approved the “I Believe” license plate that features a cross on a stained-glass background.

Deutch, who is Jewish, argued that religious symbols of any type don’t belong on license plates produced by the state.

Well, that's not just an argument, as Sen. Deutch well knows -- that's constitutional law, specifically the First Amendment, which forbids laws "respecting the establishment of a [state] religion." In other words, Sen. Siplin, regardless of whether or not you think He ought to be, Jesus is not everyone's "lord and savior." Ergo, ixnay on the ateplay with the ucifixioncray, you dig? (And are you sure you don't want to reconsider that "D" after your name?)

The "I BELIEVE" plate (right) ultimately failed to get to the governor's desk last year, and both of these heinously Christianist plates deserve the same fate this year. If not, I'm sure some lawyers will be getting phone calls very soon ... and I'd love to write some pleadings and briefs for that one!

UPDATE (1:30 pm 4/27/09): Some of my blogfriends are taking the plate and running with it, so to speak.

First, this gem from Firefox, with the obligatory fashion accessory:

Meanwhile, Blue Gal already has personalized the plate in a special -- and appropriate -- way.

Remember, I don't make 'em up ... I just share 'em. ;)

What's a fundamentalist whackjob to do?

It must be tough to be a batshit crazy fundie in Florida as the state legislature session limps to a close this week. Three fundie-supported bills are either dead or dying. Couldn't happen to a better bunch of lunatics, if you ask me.

First, the vomitous abortion restriction bill, which would require women seeking to terminate their pregnancy either to view an ultrasound image of the fetus or to affirmatively decline the viewing, is stalled and might not even come to a vote in the Senate, despite the assurances of Senate majority leader Daniel Webster (R-Orlando).

Several Senate leaders said they would prefer not to take up such a divisive issue in the last week of session, and in an election year.

About a half-dozen moderate Republicans and most Democrats oppose the bill; a few conservative Democrats and most Republicans support it. Two key players have been Sen. Mandy Dawson, D-Fort Lauderdale, who is frequently absent, and incoming Senate President Jeff Atwater, R-Palm Beach Gardens, who faces a tough re-election this fall from a former Democratic senator.

Opponents thought late Monday they had the majority, but the bill’s sponsor, Sen. Dan Webster, R-Orlando -- who describes himself as pro-life -- brought the matter up for initial questions and debate Tuesday morning. A vote could come as soon as Wednesday.

Meanwhile, the equally vomitous evolution education bill, the pet bill of Sen. Ronda Storms (R-Valrico), the Most Insane State Legislator of All Time (MISLAT), passed the House but is going to run out of time in the Senate. Even Gov. Crist seems to be taking special note of this one:

With the bill on life support, Republican Gov. Charlie Crist appeared unlikely to bridge the divide between the chambers. Crist surprised reporters during a two-hour debate Monday with a rare visit to the House press gallery. He was asked if he believed in evolution.

"I believe in a lot of things," Crist said. "We should have the freedom to have a good exchange of ideas."

But is legislation needed to guarantee that exchange? "I'm not so sure," Crist said.

Say what you will about Charlie, but you just know that this bullshit bill would be a slam dunk if Jeb! were in charge ...

Oh, and remember Ronda's looney counterpart in the House, Rep. Alan Hays (R-Umatilla)? Get a load of this crap:

House Republicans, however, agreed with Rep. Alan Hays, R-Umatilla, who insisted the theory of evolution "has holes in it."

"No one has any record - no fossils have been found, no eyewitnesses have seen any species in transition from one to another," said Hays, the House sponsor.

Wow. That's some powerful stupid right there. Florida's not going to be second to any other state for deniers of scientific fact, that's for damn sure.

Finally, the "I BELIEVE" license plate deservedly crashed and burned yesterday, despite Sen. Storms' unbelievably moronic objection to its omission from the new plate legislation.

Opponents of the plate said approval - whose proposed design included a Christian cross, a stained-glass window and the words "I Believe" - would have almost certainly faced a court challenge.

The bill's Senate sponsor said Monday, however, that the chamber's rejection of the plate could also generate a lawsuit. Florida already has over 100 different license plates and by allowing the designs the state has created a "public forum," said Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Valrico.

Public forum? Oh, give me a fucking break.

Sen. Storms, a 1995 graduate of Stetson University College of Law (where I worked long ago), obviously didn't learn much about constitutional law there. While courts still are debating the issue, the idea that Florida has opened license plates up to be a public forum, limited or otherwise, is just ludicrous. There's no viewpoint discrimination going on here, Ronda. Please take your Bible and your insanity and let the grown-ups make the decisions, okay?

And while you're at it, take Hays and the rest of the batshit crazy fundies with you. It might get there kicking and screaming the whole way, but there's finally a scintilla of hope that Florida might be dragged into the 21st Century eventually after all.

Today's Daily Schadenfreude: State Sen. Ronda Storms (R-Valrico)

What's wrong with me? I haven't had a Daily Schadenfreude on here in forever! Maybe I was just waiting for a good one. And this is a very good one.

You remember Sen. Ronda Storms (right), don't you? The batshit crazy wingnut from the Tampa area had introduced legislation to try to get creationism into Florida's public schools. Well, today the bill came to the floor for debate. And Sen. Storms got her ass handed to her publicly.

The first tactic by the Democrats was brilliant. They pointed out that if teachers were made to teach "the full range of scientific views" about evolution, including intelligent design, then they also must teach "the full range of scientific views" about human sexuality, including contraception. Right?! Come on, now ... help me, Ronda:

Republican Sen. Ronda Storms said that Democratic proposal went too far and had it voted down on the Senate floor Thursday, saying the sex-ed measure not only didn't belong on her evolution bill but that it could lead to "prematurely deflowering kindergart[e]ners and first- and second-graders."

Sen. [Ted] Deutch, a Boca Raton Democrat, countered that the sex-education bill had to be "age appropriate" and that it would help stop venereal disease and unwanted pregnancies.

Adapting Storm's [sic] language in previous debates, Duetch [sic] said the bill simply gives students "the opportunity to ask about the scientific information."

From there, the debate over the measure, which could be voted out of the chamber by next week, became tense.

After trying to show that Storms, a Christian conservative, is only concerned with "academic freedom" when it comes to evolution, [Democrats] tried to cast doubt on her proposal as a backdoor way of teaching Intelligent Design, which a Pennsylvania federal court in 2005 banned from the science classroom as being too theistic.

Deflowering kindergarteners? Oh, please. Storms has to be the stupidest person ever elected to any legislature anywhere. Okay, except for Jim Inhofe. But I digress ...

Smartly and shrewdly, the Dems wouldn't let up in what the reporter described as "tense" debate:

So Democrats repeatedly asked: Could teachers teach Intelligent Design under the Academic Freedom bill? Ronda Storms wouldn't say yes or no.

Her answer, instead, came straight from the text of her bill that Democrats were trying to tear apart as backdoor Creationism: "You may teach, specifically: 'scientific information relevant to the full range of scientific views regarding biological and chemical evolution in connection with teaching any prescribed curriculum regarding chemical or biological evolution.' "

Storms at one point added: "The bottom line is if it is not scientifically based and if it is not scientifically relevant, the answer is no. If it is, the answer is yes."

She also pointed out that the bill says "you may not teach religious doctrine." When pressed about Intelligent Design by Democratic Sen. Nan Rich of Sunrise, Storms said "asked and answered."

But it wasn't, said Democratic leader Steve Geller of Cooper City. When he started to ask her personal view about Intelligent Design, Republican Senate President Ken Pruitt of Port St. Lucie interrupted: "Sen. Storms, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to."

Geller continued: "Do you believe Intelligent Design meets the criteria in your bill," which says scientific information is "germane current facts, data and peer-reviewed research."

Said Storms: "I absolutely believe that evolution should be taught in public schools. I also believe that we should teach the full range of critical analysis of evolution."

It's well past time that we stopped taking morons like Storms seriously. Part of the problem, I think, is that we on the Left have been too quick to legitimize positions that are just idiotic by opposing them as though they have merit. It's far more effective, and certainly in this instance far more appropriate, to treat such things with the derision and ridicule they deserve.

Speaking of derision and ridicule, check out what happened when Storms was asked to produce the people she claims have been "afraid" to contradict the new state science standards mandating the teaching of evolution:

Storms said her bill was designed to counteract the "dogmatic" new state science standards requiring for the first time evolution to be and that "people are afraid. Teachers are afraid. And students, by the way, are afraid."

Geller objected, noting her bill says the "Legislature finds that in many instances" teachers and students have feared or been disciplined for teaching the full range of scientific information about evolution.

When Geller asked her for names, Storms didn't have any but said six educators who planned to talk on the topic recently weren't given the time to address a recent Senate committee.

Jeebus. Look, I'm not going to go so far as to say that Ronda Storms is too stupid to breathe. But she's surely too stupid to serve in the state Senate. Or maybe the constituents who voted for her are the stupid ones.

The good news, though, Ronda, is that you're not too stupid to earn a little Blast Off!-style derision and ridicule of your own: congratulations, because today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

Just when you thought it was safe to evolve ...

Apparently the batshit crazy creationists aren't giving up the fight very easily. And now they're bringing in the B-list celebrity ammunition:

In the latest evolution battle, pop-culture figure Ben Stein will show his new documentary challenging mainstream science [ ] to Florida lawmakers Wednesday as they consider legislation that makes it easier for teachers to question Darwin's theory in science classes.

The legislation, like Stein's documentary called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, has been bashed by critics as a front for advancing the agenda of biblical creationists who want to sneak religious teachings into the classrooms.

But Umatilla Republican Rep. Alan Hays says he's not touting Stein's documentary or his "academic freedom" bill to destroy evolution. He said the bill is simply drafted to allow teachers and students to discuss, without fear of punishment, "the full range" of problems and ideas surrounding Darwin's theory.

Neither Hays nor his co-sponsor, Brandon Republican Sen. Ronda Storms, could name any teachers in Florida who have been disciplined for being critical of evolution in the science classroom. Better known for his "Win Ben Stein's Money" game show, Stein made the documentary to document how evolution critics have supposedly run afoul of mainstream science in higher academics.

You remember Ronda Storms, right? Turns out she has an equally nutty counterpart in the House in Rep. Hays. And I could go so many directions with the Ben Stein thing, I don't even know where to start.

This is absolutely, patently absurd. In a state facing fiscal ruin, seeing the Legislature have to waste its time debating whether or not to teach actual science is ridiculous. If this kind of thing keeps up, next thing you know, Congress will be investigating steroid use in baseball!

What? Really?

Oh. Never mind.

Florida's fundies take their creation fight to the Legislature

This is really disturbing. These anti-science morons here in Florida just won't give up, and with the legislative session starting this week in Tallahassee, they're at it again.

Batshit crazy state Sen. Ronda Storms (R-Valrico) (right ... FAR right) has introduced a bill that theoretically would allow K-12 teachers in Florida to teach the faux "theory" of intelligent design in public schools. To wit:

(2) The Legislature finds that current law does not expressly protect the right of teachers to objectively present scientific information relevant to the full range of scientific views regarding chemical and biological evolution. The Legislature finds that in many instances educators have experienced or feared discipline, discrimination, or other adverse consequences as a result of presenting the full range of scientific views regarding chemical and biological evolution. The Legislature further finds that existing law does not expressly protect students from discrimination due to their positions or views regarding biological or chemical evolution. The Legislature finds that the topic of biological and chemical evolution has generated intense controversy about the rights of teachers and students to hold differing views on those subjects. It is therefore the intent of the Legislature that this section expressly protects those rights.

(3) Every public school teacher in the state's K-12 school system shall have the affirmative right and freedom to objectively present scientific information relevant to the full range of scientific views regarding biological and chemical evolution in connection with teaching any prescribed curriculum regarding chemical or biological origins.

In yet another classic neocon oxymoronic misnomer (à la "Clean Water Act" or "President Bush"), Sen. Storms has called this piece of garbage the "Academic Freedom Act." You know, because we want to give teachers in our state the "freedom" to teach fantasy as fact. Even the language of the bill is ironic, since there is absolutely no scientific information supporting "intelligent design" or creation. There's plenty of "faith-based" information on it, but in terms of satisfying the scientific method, intelligent design won't cut it.

For a while this really flew under the radar, but I see the Tampa Tribune's political blog "March on Politics" has picked this up. Good. I want this idiocy to see the full light of day in a reality-based world -- with which Sen. Storms has absolutely no experience.

I didn't even realize Storms had been elected to the state Senate. After all, her performance was notorious at best as a Hillsborough County commissioner, where she was known for her crusades against dirty, dirty gays and pr0n and, you know, pretty much anything that didn't jibe with her efforts to interfere in the private lives of every Floridian for her own satisfaction. So thanks, eastern Hillsborough County, for inflicting Ronda on the rest of the state.

You'd think that the Legislature would be smart enough to laugh (figuratively ... oh, what the hell, make it literally) in Ronda's smug little face on this. But don't be too sure:

Asked after the ed board’s vote last month about the prospect of wading into the issue of evolution during the session, several GOP lawmakers expressed reluctance at best, if not outright opposition. As Rep. Kevin Ambler, R-Tampa, quipped at the time, “I thought we had evolved beyond that.”

But House Speaker Marco Rubio told the Florida Baptist Witness last month that the House “may have sufficient votes” for “academic freedom"-styled legislation. “And for me, personally,” Rubio told the FBW, according to its Feb. 21 article, “I don’t want a school system that teaches kids that what they’re learning at home is wrong.”

Marco and Ronda ... birds of a feather. Cuckoo birds, that is ...

Sticks of Fire has a different (and funnier) take on this ...

(h/t Interrobang; cross-posted at Florida Progressive Coalition Blog)