The stupidest fucking morons on the planet still ♥ Glenn Beck

Predictably, the mouth-breathing contingent was out in force yesterday in Brevard County, as Glenn Beck graced their TV screens (amazing they even knew how to turn on a television!) for an hour-long festival of tears and verbal entrails. And once again, Florida Today somehow finds this newsworthy, even though no sentient being really gives a shit other than us dirty fucking hippie bloggers. (Okay, fine, I'll pay attention ...)

"Throw me some beads, mister!"

First of all, behold the diversity of the crowd (right) in Melbourne at the Mighty Mushroom!

Wait ... they're all white? And mostly over 45 or so? How is that possible? Oh, yeah, the selfish, entitled contingent of American society would never allow younger people or -- perish the thought! -- minorities to be a part of their little rally. (Gee ... Hitler and Jesus had rallies, too. Beck ought to recognize that comparison ...)

Hang on ... there are 13 pictures in that photo gallery. I'm sure there must be one showing the diversity of the folks at the Mighty Mushroom! Hmmm. Well, look at the gallery yourself and tell me if there are any minorities present. (Here's a hint: THERE AREN'T.)

As usual, though, the Beck fans are as ignorant as a fence post:

“We want to get out that we are not sitting back and doing nothing. We may be a minority, but that doesn’t mean we have to be silent. We still have a voice,” said Republican Barbara Chandler, 59, of Palm Bay, who attended the viewing with some members of her family.

Chandler said she thinks personal freedoms are under threat, and that the government is “on the wrong path” and heading toward socialism.

As an example, she cited the bailout money being provided to many banks. She is worried about the government nationalizing some of the country’s failing banks.

“Democracy is being put aside,” she said.

Goddammit! Don't make me tell you again! IT WAS THE REPUBLICANS WHO GAVE THE BAILOUT MONEY TO THE BANKS!!!! All you fucking racist assholes who want to blame the Obama administration are just being willfully stupid. President Obama's stimulus plan gives money to the people who need it most -- homeowners, the unemployed, and so on ... not to corporate CEOs! That was the Bush plan, much of which already was implemented under then-Treasury Secretary Hank "Pay-my-Pals" Paulson before Obama even took office! Jesus, you people are fucking dumb!

As for democracy being "put aside," no, actually, democracy is in fine shape for the most part, as demonstrated on November 4, 2008. That day showed that democracy actually works and that the people got what a majority of them wanted. "Democracy" means a majority of people generally get their way, Ms. Chandler, and it isn't endangered just because you can't sit on your ass and make sure you get yours and no one else gets any assistance anymore, like it was with the Bush crime syndicate.

Meanwhile, a smaller yet equally batshit crazy gathering took place in Titusville:

Naomi Johnson of Cocoa, a registered Independent, sat expressionless amidst the crowd, but her opinion was full of passion.

“America needs to return to people being governed by people,” Johnson said. “We have a voice. Washington is not the be-all and end-all. They need to be held accountable.”

As the crowd began to disperse, Hardeeville resident Bob Hoffman, a former Washington political action committee member, reminded residents to “burn up their phones in Tallahassee. Call them, e-mail them, write them. Let them know where you stand.”

Seriously, your idiocy is embarrassing. Go back to your cheez doodles and watch those hunting shows on TV from now on, because whenever you try to discuss grown-up topics, you just end up looking like a fool.

Hopefully this Beckmania will die down as quickly as it sprang up ... probably so, given that 95% of the people who were all fired up yesterday will get back to parking their beat-up pickup trucks in their yards and firing their shotguns at anything that moves (especially if it has dark skin) again soon enough. But for now, it's enough to cement Brevard County's place as the home of the stupidest fucking morons on the planet.

UPDATE (10:29 am 3/14/09): Wow. Re-reading this a few times, it may be my most profane and insulting rant yet. And having posted it on Facebook means that a lot of my friends are reading it and wondering, "What happened to him?" Well, I apologize if I offended anyone (other than the batshit crazy wingnuts from Brevard who might read this). But sometimes I just gotta rant.