Too stupid to breathe: Mark Ciptak

Congratulations to Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton, Tenn., whose stupidity is almost too great to be believed.

Without his wife's knowledge, he named their newborn daughter "Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak."

[The new name] isn’t the name he and his wife originally agreed on. And it isn’t the name his wife, Layla, thought the baby was given.

“We actually came up with the name Ava Grace, and I secretively went and got another set of forms to send to (Social Security officials and the Tennessee Department of Health), and as of this time, she (Layla) still doesn’t realize what I’ve done. I haven’t broken the news to her yet,” Ciptak said.

“As of right now, I’m just trying to get up enough nerve to tell her what I’ve done and hope for the best. I hope I’m still living to tell the tale tomorrow. She thought it was a done deal with Ava Grace.

“Only some friends and family members who I have called for prayer support know at this point.”

Later in the day, Mark did break the news to Layla.

[...]

“I took one for the cause,” said Ciptak. “I can’t give a lot of financial support for the (McCain/Palin) campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little. Is this going to change the course of the election? I doubt it. But it’s something that I did to help out the campaign and the cause. … This is a little token to the McCain camp, and we are strong supporters of that ticket.”

Nice going, Mark. You do realize, don't you, that if you hadn't pulled this asinine stunt, you wouldn't have had to reach out for "prayer support?" And you're strong supporters of the GOP ticket? Wow, I never would have guessed ...

Of course, eventually the girl will just be plain ol' Sarah Ciptak and probably no one will remember what a massive douchebag her father was, but saddling her with middle names that soon will be relegated to the dustbin of history, well, that's downright cruel.

Just ask 12-year-old Fred Dole Kemp Garvin of Provo, Utah.*

(h/t Eschaton commenter Hesiod)

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* I'm kidding.