Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Randall Tobias

Who?

You mean the Randall Tobias (left) who was in charge of the Bush crime syndicate's foreign aid programs?

Yep, that's the one. Nice combover, Randy. You use spit on your comb?

Methinks he had a different definition of "foreign aid" ...

Tobias submitted his resignation a day after he was interviewed by ABC News for an upcoming program about an alleged prostitution service run by the so-called D.C. Madam.

ABC reported on its Web site late Friday that Tobias confirmed that he had called the Pamela Martin and Associates escort service to have women come to his condo and give him massages. More recently, Tobias told the network, he has been using a service with Central American women.

Tobias, 65, who is married, told ABC there had been "no sex" during the women's visits to his condo.

An aside: I always wondered what Pamela Sue Martin (right) had been doing since "The Nancy Drew Mysteries."* But I digress ...

Tobias' actual title was Director of U.S. Foreign Assistance and U.S. Agency for International Development Administrator, in which capacity he reported to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. According to the article, "[h]is rank was equivalent to deputy secretary of state."

On Wednesday, Tobias attended a luncheon at the State Department with Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes and actress Angelina Jolie, who was in Washington pushing for more U.S. education aid for developing countries.

"Psst ... Angie ... you doing anything after the luncheon? I've got some 'foreign aid' you can give, if you know what I mean ..."

It's so refreshing to see bad things happen to bad people. And as far as I'm concerned, anyone who aligns him- or herself with the Bush crime syndicate is a bad person. So, congratulations to Randall Tobias -- today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

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* I keed, I keed ... Ms. Martin is a lovely woman, on whom I've had a crush since 1974. I would never cast aspersions on her character. Cross my heart. Now bring that flashlight and come sit by me, Pam ...

Condi Rice says no to Congress

Looks like Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is going to defy the subpoena issued by a House committee.

Rice said she would respond by mail to questions from the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on the Bush administration's prewar claims about Saddam Hussein seeking weapons of mass destruction, but signaled she would not appear in person.

"I am more than happy to answer them again in a letter," she told reporters in Oslo, where she is attending a meeting of NATO foreign ministers.

The comments were her first reaction to a subpoena issued on Wednesday by the committee chaired by Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif.

Rice said she respected the oversight function of the legislative branch, but maintained she had already testified in person and under oath about claims that Iraq had sought uranium from Africa during her confirmation hearing for the job of secretary of state.

"I addressed these questions, almost the same questions, during my confirmation hearing," she said. "This is an issue that has been answered and answered and answered."

Contempt of Congress is such an ugly concept, isn't it? But it looks good on Condi ... wonder how she'd look in orange, say, a jumpsuit?

Speaking of liars

You know the Bush crime syndicate is going down in flames when they can't even lie effectively anymore. Oh, they were really good at it for a while, and a lot of Americans bought their bullshit hook, line, and sinker. But boy, do their lies suck now.

Take Karl Rove, for example. Please.

Karl Rove, the chief political strategist for President Bush, did not intentionally delete e-mail messages to avoid creating a paper trail detailing his work, his lawyer said on Friday. Rather, he mistakenly thought that the messages were being preserved by the Republican National Committee.

“Karl has always understood that his R.N.C. e-mails were being archived,” the lawyer, Robert Luskin, said in an interview. “He has never asked or sought any kind of special treatment to permit him to delete anything.”

Delete e-mail messages intentionally? Who, me? Oh, give me a fucking break.

On Thursday, Representative Henry A. Waxman, the California Democrat who is chairman of the House committee conducting the inquiry, said he had “particular concerns about Karl Rove” after a briefing his aides received from Mr. Kelner, the R.N.C. lawyer.

Mr. Waxman raised questions about an R.N.C. policy, aimed only at Mr. Rove, that Mr. Waxman said “removed Mr. Rove’s ability to personally delete his e-mails from the R.N.C. server.”

In an interview Friday, Mr. Kelner said the committee had indeed adopted such a policy, in January 2006. Mr. Kelner would not say if the Fitzgerald leak inquiry sparked the change, but he said the new policy was aimed simply at preserving Mr. Rove’s e-mails.

“It wasn’t because the R.N.C. thought, uh oh, Karl Rove’s going to destroy e-mails, we have to save them,” Mr. Kelner said. “Absolutely not. That’s exactly the impression Waxman is trying to create. I don’t think there’s any evidence of that.”

However, because Mr. Kelner refused to say "cross my heart and hope to die, stick a finger in my eye," we know he's a Big Fat Liar.

There's a ton of e-mails missing. Does anyone -- even Rove's lawyers -- seriously believe that their deletion was accidental? I mean, anyone other than Rove's friends ... people who really love the guy and think he's swell. People who, let's put it bluntly, associate with a serial liar. People like these:

The button is photoshopped; the meeting of the mindless is not.

Florida Young Republicans with Rove.

Staying the course, Condi style

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice doesn't care about the lives lost or money spent in Iraq.

In the AP interview, Rice was asked whether an additional $100 billion the Pentagon wants for the Iraq and Afghan wars might amount to throwing good money after bad in Iraq. Bush and Congress have already provided more than $500 billion for the two conflicts and worldwide efforts against terrorism, including more than $350 billion for Iraq.

"I don't think it's a matter of money," Rice said. "Along the way there have been plenty of markers that show that this is a country that is worth the investment, because once it emerges as a country that is a stabilizing factor you will have a very different kind of Middle East."

Rice added, "I know from the point of view of not just the monetary cost but the sacrifice of American lives a lot has been sacrificed for Iraq, a lot has been invested in Iraq."

Bush would not ask for continued sacrifice and spending "if he didn't believe, and in fact I believe as well, that we can in fact succeed," Rice said.

Again, we're missing the goalposts entirely. What exactly is success in Iraq? The bottom line is that there's been no success because no clear goal ever was established. WMDs? Proven false. Getting Saddam out? Did that long ago, but didn't leave Iraq then. Establish democracy? Well, we're seeing right now how that's going.

Condi is just like her lover boss. They just don't care about anything but themselves and their legacies.

Caption contest

Here's another Blast Off! caption contest, for your entertainment.

The last one was good, but see if you can do better ... put your caption in the comments and let the fun begin! Look, even Condi's smiling about this:

Then again, maybe she's not. Anyway, try to make her smile ...