Like moths around a porch light (and other colorful metaphors)

You know, I've always thought Florida was weird -- after all, we've got a dead reality show icon, a crazed astronaut, and election snafus a-plenty ... and Krazy Kitty Harris With Her Two Friends ... but the GOP around here is doing its best to up the Freaky Factor.

The Republicans are absolutely salivating at the chance to go after Ron Klein and Tim Mahoney in FL-22 and FL-16, respectively. They are convinced that the Democratic victories were merely aberrations and the districts, formerly held by Clay Shaw (22) and Mark Foley (16), will be back in GOP hands "where they belong." Sounds like someone's been dipping into the happy juice just a little too much ...

Check out this "stellar" lineup of potential opponents for Mahoney (and don't miss the keynoter!):

After months of GOP talk about recapturing the congressional seats won by Democrats Tim Mahoney and Ron Klein in November, Palm Beach County Republicans will see firsthand how much - or how little - early progress has been made at Saturday's $275-and-up Lincoln Day dinner.

As one of the warm-up acts to keynoter Ann Coulter, county Republican Chairman Sid Dinerstein plans to offer brief microphone time to four potential 2008 candidates for the Mahoney seat: state Rep. Gayle Harrell, R-Stuart; attorney and Pittsburgh Steelers ownership scion Tom Rooney; attorney and unsuccessful 2006 state House candidate Rob Siedlecki; and Palm Beach Gardens City Councilman Hal Valeche.

I think Harrell probably has the inside track at the nomination. Rooney's rich but inexperienced, Siedlecki can't even win on the state level, and Valeche is going to have problems running outside of the Gardens. I don't think Mahoney's going to have much trouble with any of them, though.

And I'm not even going to comment on the ironic fact that Coulter's the keynoter for Lincoln Day. Somehow I don't think the views of her hero, Joseph McCarthy, square very well with those of Abraham Lincoln. Besides, you would think she'd want to straighten out her little legal problems before going out in public again. Blecch. (Oops. I guess I did comment after all.)

Meanwhile, in my home district of FL-22, things are quieter ... but get a load of who's considering a run:

The Republican showing the most interest so far in challenging Klein is a Connecticut resident, attorney Alan Schlesinger, who garnered 10 percent in last year's U.S. Senate race against independent Joe Lieberman and Dem Ned Lamont. Schlesinger, who says he's spent time regularly in Palm Beach County for years and is considering a move here from the Nutmeg State, is expected to be at the Lincoln Day dinner.

Are you fuckin' kidding me? Alan Schlesinger? Just what we need in my district -- a carpetbagger, and a loser one at that. Dude, if you can't beat Joe "My Lips Are Planted Firmly on Dubya's Ass" Lieberman, you won't beat Ron Klein. Alan, you really should reconsider your political career ...

Hey, GOP, news flash: it wasn't a fluke that you lost in '06, and if you think '08's going to be any better, well, you might want to do a little more research. Klein and Mahoney are here to stay ... bitchez!!