Today's Daily Schadenfreude: John McCain

Of course, the mainstream corporate media will continue to tell you that it's the Democrats who are in shambles/disarray/trouble, but looky here at the Republicans! Seems that ol' Huggy Bear might face a bit of mutiny at the Republican National Convention this September:

McCain has not yet signaled the changes he plans to make in the GOP platform, but many conservatives say they fear wholesale revisions could emerge as candidate McCain seeks to put his stamp on a document that currently reflects the policies and principles of President Bush.

"There is just no way that you can avoid anticipating what is going to come. Everyone is aware that McCain is different on these issues," said Jessica Echard, executive director of the conservative Eagle Forum. "We're all kind of waiting with anticipation because we just don't know how he's going to thread this needle."

McCain has spent the past year and a half trying to straddle the philosophical schism in the modern Republican Party. In primaries, he stressed his conservative credentials, but since clinching the nomination he has often reminded voters of his more moderate stances while professing his fealty to conservative positions.

A platform fight at the convention could disrupt that carefully choreographed effort by highlighting the stark differences in vision for the party separating McCain from some of the GOP's most dedicated activists.

The battle may not be avoidable. The current GOP platform is a 100-page document, and all but nine pages mention Bush's name. Virtually the entire platform will have to be rewritten to lessen the imprint of the president, who has the highest disapproval rating of any White House occupant since Richard M. Nixon.

It's hilarious how both Huggy Bear and the Party itself are racing each other to shed the destructive, pathetic legacy of Drunky McStagger, yet both of them also embrace his failed policies almost in their entirety. And yet Huggy, not being "conservative" enough for the right-wing extremists who still hold sway in the GOP (evidently he's still plenty warmongering and torturing enough, though), is going to confront a lot of distaste in St. Paul, and not just from the protesters outside the Excel Center.

The crazed wingnuts are especially up in arms about Huggy's positions on global climate change, immigration, and stem cell research. As usual, they'd rather kill brown people and protect embryos until birth (but only until then -- after that you're on your own) than support their party's candidate. Who's in disarray again?

Geez, Huggy, can't a failed fighter pilot and Communist appeaser get any electoral love from his own party these days? Well, you can comfort yourself with your wife's big hair (Jeebus, I thought that was Dolly Parton there for a minute), her bigger bank account, and the knowledge that today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!