Hey, Idaho ... Florida knows what you're going through

Looks like I picked a shitty night to be away from the internets (and at rehearsal), eh? (Thanks for the tip, racymind ...)

So Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was caught in a bathroom in a compromising position? Shoot, Blowin' Bob Allen, Florida's own little devil, can commiserate.

Are there similarities? Jeebus, the situations are practically twins. Check it out:

Alleged sexual advances on an undercover officer? Check.

Blowin' Bob is accused of offering $20 to a cop for the privilege of blowing him, while Sen. Craig pleaded guilty -- let me say that again: pleaded guilty -- to misdemeanor disorderly conduct after he purportedly gave a signal to a cop in the adjacent stall that the cop interpreted as an invitation to "lewd behavior."

Republican? Check.

How long before Republican Repressed Sexual Syndrome (RRSS) gets into the DSM-IV?

Pro-"family values" and anti-gay? Check.

Blowin' Bob sponsored bills in the Florida Legislature regarding "sexual solicitation and abuse" and "lewd or lascivious exhibition." He also was a volunteer for the Boys & Girls Club and a local Little League. Meanwhile, Sen. Craig has a record of socially conservatism as long as ... well, let's just say as long as your arm:

In recent years, Craig's voting record has earned him top ratings from social conservative groups such as the American Family Association, Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council.

He has supported a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, telling his colleagues that it was "important for us to stand up now and protect traditional marriage, which is under attack by a few unelected judges and litigious activists."

In 1996, Craig also voted in favor of the Defense of Marriage Act, which denies federal recognition to same-sex marriages and prevents states from being forced to recognize the marriages of gay and lesbian couples legally performed in other states.

Craig has also opposed expanding the federal hate crimes law to cover offenses motivated by anti-gay bias and, in 1996, voted against a bill that would have outlawed employment discrimination based on sexual orientation, which failed by a single vote in the Senate.

Chair of campaign for GOP presidential candidate? Check.

Blowin' Bob was a state chair for John McCain, while Sen. Craig immediately resigned today from Mitt Romney's campaign. (As an aside, can Mitt's campaign get any more dysfunctional?)

Five years from now, I predict that Blowin' Bob and former Sen. Craig will be on a Fox reality show, living in the same house and trying to get along with each other. Maybe former Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) and Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) could be on it, too.

They could call it Real World: Congress. Or maybe House of the Rising Wang.

UPDATE (12:07 am 8/28/07): Forgot one:

Blatant, utterly appalling hypocrisy? Check.

UPDATE (5:54 pm 8/28/07): Apparently, Larry Craig used to write for The Onion.