The smell emanating from Broward County yesterday ...

... was the collective stench of some of the worst of the worst, as the truly batshit crazy side of the GOP presidential circus came to America's Glans™ for the "Values Voter" debate in Fort Lauderdale.

The attendees included Mike Huckabee (R-Ark.), Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.), John Cox (R-Who?), Ron Paul (R-Tex.), Alan Keyes (R-Washed Up), and everyone's favorite whack-job, Tom Tancredo (R-You Fucking Kidding Me?). Also appearing, of course, was Fort Lauderdale mayor Jim Naugle, who received a standing ovation from the significantly-less-than-capacity crowd of raving wingnut lunatics. A veritable feast of fools, if you will (he said ironically) ...

The front-runners couldn't make it: Giuliani, Romney, Thompson, and McCain all had something better to do. And that, honestly, was to their credit.

Get a load of some of the quotes:

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, for example, said many Americans don't understand the threat from Islamic militants.

"It's a theological war. It's not politically correct to say that. It's just the truth," he said. "We're fighting a people who will not be satisfied until every last one of us is dead."

Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo termed it "a clash of civilizations."

Several said they'd favor a constitutional amendment banning abortion and several said they would appoint only anti-abortion judges.

"If a judicial candidate can look at a sonogram of an unborn child and not see a valuable human life, I will not appoint that judicial candidate to the federal bench," said Duncan Hunter, a California congressman.

Alan Keyes, a former United Nations diplomat, linked the fight against terrorism to abortion. He said the fight against killing is no different than the "fight against the killing of innocents in the womb. The killing is the same. The principle is the same."

Keyes, Huckabee and Hunter said they'd support a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. And John Cox, an Illinois businessman, said such an amendment was needed to protect children from "the homosexual lobby."

Tancredo warned that the country is "just one kooky judge away from having homosexual marriage forced on the rest of us."

On faith and values, Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback said the nation needs to return to what he termed the three basics: life, family and faith.

"There is a degradation of our society, especially the morals of our society," Tancredo said. "Bill Clinton redefined morality to the level of an alley cat."

That's right, folks. Tom Tancredo -- Tom Fucking Tancredo -- is lecturing us about morals. Hoo boy, that's rich. That's like Jenna Bush giving a speech about sobriety.

Meanwhile, as for those who didn't attend, especially Rudy!, who was in Fort Lauderdale at the time, debate committee member Janet Folger had a message for them:

To those who "had something more important to do than talk to those of us who represent God's principles," Folger had a prediction: "Those who snubbed us, they will not win."

Well, on that, Ms. Folger, you and I can agree. In fact, I'll go farther: no Republican will win. Take that to the bank. Or the batshit crazy fundie church, if you prefer.

I'll just wait out here in the "homosexual lobby."