Cuba libre?

Well, not exactly. But President Obama is making a bold (and long overdue) move by relaxing the restrictions on travel to Cuba for Cuban-Americans, and there is talk of opening up Cuban travel more broadly in the near future. It's a refreshing change from past policy of either acting like Cuba doesn't exist or behaving hostilely towards it.

"The president has directed that a series of steps be taken to reach out to the Cuban people to support their desire to enjoy basic human rights," said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. "These are actions he has taken to open up the flow of information."

U.S. officials said Obama hoped the new measures would encourage Cuba's one-party state to implement democratic reforms long demanded by Washington as a condition for removing sanctions imposed after Fidel Castro took power in 1959.

Shares of companies that stand to gain from a thaw in U.S. ties with Cuba soared on the news, led by Canadian mining and energy company Sherritt International, a major player in Cuba's nickel and oil industry, whose stock rose 24.5 percent.

Miami-based cruise operator Royal Caribbean also saw its shares rise on hopes that the No. 2 cruise ship operator and rival Carnival, could sail to Cuba, just 90 miles from the United States.

U.S. telecommunications companies will now be allowed to set up fiber-optic cable and satellite links with Cuba, start roaming service agreements and permit U.S. residents to pay for telecoms, satellite radio and television services provided to people in Cuba, the White House said.

Obama also directed his government to look at starting regularly scheduled commercial flights to Cuba. Air travel between the United States and Cuba is now limited to charter flights.

Predictably, though, Florida politicians on both sides of the aisle are lining up against the decision. Democratic congresspersons Kendrick Meek and Debbie Wasserman Schultz "disagree[] with part of the Administration's new Cuba policy," and Rep. Connie Mack (R-Fla.) talks out of both sides of his mouth, as usual. However, it's the notoriously moronic Diaz-Balart brothers, two of Miami's "Three Hyphenated Stooges," who take their Obama Derangement Syndrome and run with it:

Despite the Cuban dictatorship increasing its repression of pro-democracy activists, torturing countless prisoners of conscience, and refusing to allow human rights activists and observers into the country, President Obama has violated his pledge of January 20 by unilaterally granting a concession to the dictatorship which will provide it with hundreds of millions of dollars annually. Unilateral concessions to the dictatorship embolden it to further isolate, imprison and brutalize pro-democracy activists, to continue to dictate which Cubans and Cuban-Americans are able to enter the island, and this unilateral concession provides the dictatorship with critical financial support.

No, you brotherly douchebags, the decision doesn't "provide the dictatorship with critical financial support." It provides real people -- Cubans and Americans -- with an opportunity to visit family and to help the island nation overcome and recover from the Castro regime. Of course, being Republicans, you two wouldn't understand the idea of helping real people, would you?

The idea that the embargo hurts Fidel (and Raul) Castro never really was correct, and it's certainly an antiquated notion now, as Fidel wastes away and Raul is little more than a figurehead. All the embargo has done is keep the Cuban populace from having the ability to help themselves economically. America's shunning of Cuba is anachronistic and essentially useless, at least insofar as the stated goals are concerned.

And you know who gets this, of all people? Florida's GOP U.S. senator, Mel Martinez, himself a Cuban-American:

The announcement today is good news for Cuban families separated by the lack of freedom in Cuba. Likewise the change in remittances should provide help to families in need. Given these changes will benefit the regime in Havana, it would be wise in the implementation to place some reasonable limits on this type of travel and the amounts that can be sent to Cuba.

The President has expressed his commitment to freedom - libertad - for the Cuban people, and policy implementation should advance that objective. To this end, the Administration is right to call on the Cuban government to end the onerous charge of 20 percent on remittances. Lowering remittance charges and allowing travel for Cuban families wishing to see relatives abroad are two steps the Cuban regime could immediately take that would show change in Havana.

Opposition to the president's action here can only be political, because it's certainly not rooted in anything factual or in any realistic foreign policy objectives. I know many Cuban-Americans have long memories. But it's well past time to realize that it's not 1959 anymore.

BREAKING: Castro resigns, irony shoots out of McStagger's nose

The excitement is palpable ... all you have to do is check the front page of the Miami Herald this morning.


Naturally, Drunky McStagger vows eternal vigilance against ... well, what, a dessicated strawman? The Last Communist Regime? Cigars?

"What does this mean for the people in Cuba?" Bush said at a news conference during his trip to Africa. "They're the ones who suffered under Fidel Castro. They're the ones who were put in prison because of their beliefs. They're the ones who have been denied their right to live in a free society. So I view this as a period of transition and it should be the beginning of the democratic transition in Cuba."

Bush said he anticipates debate about Cuba's future, and that some people will say "Let's promote stability."

"In the meantime, political prisoners will rot in prison and the human condition will remain pathetic in many cases," he said.

Bush noted that he had met with the families of some of prisoners, and that their release should be the first step of any transition to democracy.

"It just breaks your heart to realize that people have been thrown in prisons because they dare speak out," he said.

Not only is irony not dead, apparently it's fucking training for a marathon. Irony is doing Pilates. Irony is on an epic caffeine buzz. Holy. Shit.

There will be no change in U.S. policy toward Cuba for now, which should come as no surprise whatsoever. The heir apparent to Fidel is his brother Raul, 76, no spring chicken himself, and there's no indication that Raul would "move towards democracy," a prerequisite to easing of restrictions on travel and commerce from the U.S. And don't expect a Democratic president to change things much, unfortunately:

Both Democrats and Republicans will be cautious when it comes to any changes until Castro dies, says Andy Gómez, with the University of Miami's Institute for Cuban and Cuban-American Studies.

''As long as Fidel Castro is alive and has the mental capacity to do so, he will be involved in major decisions,'' said Gómez, who believes that neither Democrats nor Republicans will initiate any changes ``until it's clear who's leading Cuba, and what's his goal.''

But Gómez said he does expect the next president -- Republican or Democrat -- to initiate a review of U.S. Cuba policy early in the next term.

Of the three major presidential hopefuls, Sen. Barack Obama has signaled he would eliminate restrictions on Cuban American travel and remittances to the island but would keep most of the embargo in place. Sens. Hillary Clinton and John McCain have said they do not plan to ease Cuba sanctions.

With regard to Cuba, then, it still seems to be two steps forward and two steps back. And so the haughty, insensitive American policy that has empowered the Castros and led to the suffering of millions of Cuban citizens evidently will continue ... until further notice.

High Fidel-ity

If Fidel Castro sneezes, you can be sure it'll make news in south Florida.

That's why his first interview in almost a year is notable.

A video clip aired Monday showed Randy Alonso, host of the government's nightly "Round Table" program, sitting across from the 80-year-old leader during the previously taped interview of nearly an hour, which will air on official television.

The preview offered few clues about what was said, except discussion of Castro's weekend meeting with Vietnam's top communist leader.

Recovering in an undisclosed location, Castro has not been seen in public since before July 31, when he announced he was temporarily ceding power to a provisional government headed by his 76-year-old brother Raul, the defense minister. Life on the island has been little changed since, and top officials insist months Castro's health is improving.

Apparently, reports of Fidel's demise have been greatly exaggerated.

But you'll know when it happens. Look for the city-sponsored party in Miami.

The sun is rising, meaning that America's Glans™ survived the preznit's appearance

Drunky McStagger has come and gone, and the world hasn't ended, so I guess that's a good thing.

Regrettably, I had to miss the party, but it wasn't anything we haven't heard before ... nor is the fawning press coverage anything we haven't seen before.

For example, this morning's Miami Herald lauds Miami Dade College's choice of Drunky as commencement speaker as "a prudent selection." (Unless they were referring to Drunky's selection of MDC as a site for his speech, which would require me to give the MSM the benefit of the doubt ... and they don't deserve it.)

Typically, he spoke at a location carefully selected for its friendliness to the Bush crime syndicate, and he surrounded himself with his pals, namely Sen. Mel Martinez, Republic (and only Republic) members of the Miami-Dade congressional delegation, and of course Jeb! Bush, whom Drunky skillfully (ha!) identified as "mi hermano."

President Bush seized on hundreds of examples of the American success story at Miami Dade College's Kendall campus graduation on Saturday to make a push for his stalled immigration platform.

"Here at Miami Dade, you know firsthand the contributions that immigrants make to our country," Bush told 1,500 graduates, 77 percent Hispanic, and their families at MDC's Kendall campus gymnasium. "This experience gives you a special responsibility to make your voices heard."

Now, note especially the pandering. Oh, and let's not forget how the protestors were treated...

Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have drawn more controversy as graduation speakers at other campuses this year. Protesters in Kendall were kept on the campus' perimeter. A few professors inside the gym wore green and white ribbons to urge a withdrawal from Iraq.

Bush singled out MDC graduates Gwen Belfon, 42, a single mother of four from Trinidad and Tobago who earned an associate's degree in education, and Jimmy Zapata, 25, a Colombia-born U.S. Marine sergeant who served in Iraq, as examples of immigrants who will contribute to America and climb the socioeconomic ladder. And he noted that MDC President Eduardo Padrón, who came from Cuba when he was 15, also began his education at MDC.

"Today, he is the first president of this college to speak English as a second language," Bush said. "Some people might say I am the first president of the United States who can make that same claim."

Actually, I wouldn't make that claim. Drunky doesn't speak English at all.

Finally, catch the conclusion of the article:

Miami Dade is the nation's largest community college, with more than 100,000 credit and noncredit students. The Kendall campus is in the heart of South Florida's Cuban-American community.

As he always does in Miami, Bush made sure to include language intended to appeal to that base by mentioning "the cruel dictatorship" in Cuba and promising that change on the island is near. But he offered no policy initiatives on that front.

"In Havana and other Cuban cities, there are people just like you who are attending school, and dreaming of a better life," he said. "Unfortunately, those dreams are stifled by a cruel dictatorship that denies all freedom in the name of a dark and discredited ideology."

Before the graduation, Bush spent part of Saturday on Key Biscayne, headlining a $25,000-a-plate fundraiser at the home of developer Edward W. Easton.

I won't give any credit to Bush for being multicultural or openminded or anything. As always, his appearance in south Florida, like anywhere, was done for craven political reasons, and it will get him exactly nowhere, except among the most deluded 30% or so of the American populace.

And I love the unintentional irony: "Unfortunately, those dreams are stifled by a cruel dictatorship that denies all freedom in the name of a dark and discredited ideology." It's like Chimpy was writing a letter to Castro: "Dear Kettle, You are black. Love, Pot."

I won't say "thanks for coming," George. I will, however, say thanks for leaving.

Party like it's 1959

One wonders if Prince can stick around after his Super Bowl gig in Miami for the next big party:

The city of Miami is planning an official celebration at the Orange Bowl whenever Cuban president Fidel Castro dies.

Discussions by a committee appointed earlier this month by the city commission to plan the event have even covered issues such as a theme to be printed on T-shirts, what musicians would perform, the cost and how long the celebration would last.

Such a gathering has long been part of the city's plan for Castro's death, but firming up the specifics has been more urgent since Castro became ill last summer and turned over power to his brother, Raul.

Now, I'm no prude, and I'm not pro-Castro by any means ... hell, I even think Cuban cigars are overrated ... but the idea of a party to celebrate the death of a head of state -- even a totalitarian one -- seems kind of inappropriate to me. Yes, I know that Iraqis and Iraqi-Americans in places like Dearborn, Mich., celebrated Saddam's hanging, but that seemed pretty impromptu by comparison to the elaborate plans being arranged to fête Castro's demise ... and in any event, it wasn't municipally sponsored! I can't say I'm very fond of the idea of a city government planning a stadium-sized party for this occasion, whenever it occurs.

What about a theme? Something catchy like "Now Castro's smoking ... in HELL" could work. Or "Havana great time with Fidel dead!" For that matter, maybe a simple "Fi-DEAD!" would suffice.

But, it's none of my business, and I'm not a Miami resident, and I'm not Cuban-American ... so I'll leave it at that.

Then again, what if news of Castro's death reached Miami on Sunday? Can the NFL catch a break with scheduling the Super Bowl in Miami? Hope they don't plan to party like it's 1989 ...