Today's Daily Schadenfreude: John Stemberger

A month ago, I told you about Orlando attorney John Stemberger, the batshit crazy fundie bigot who wants to deny basic rights to certain members of society based solely on their sexual orientation. Well, Stemberger got a double-whammy yesterday, either of which would be schadenfreude-worthy on its own, but when put together give him a special place in our laughing-and-pointing series.

First, it looks like Stemberger's hate crusade to put a constitutional ban on gay marriage on the November ballot is over. It's still possible but highly unlikely that they can get the required number of signatures by the Feb. 1 deadline, after a recount threw out thousands of duplicate signatures.

Campaign chairman John Stemberger was dismayed, but focused on rounding up the remaining signatures. "We're somewhat at the mercy of the professionalism and competence of the officials involved here," he said.

"At this point we're not interested in pointing fingers. We're interested in making sure the goal is met."

[...]

Campaigns have until Feb. 1 to collect more signatures, though county election offices, swamped in preparations for the presidential primary, are not obliged to count them.

That unsettles Stemberger, who has offered volunteers to aid in the process.

So far, no county is accepting.

What? No Florida county wants to help you, John, with your despicable scheme? Not even the batshit crazy counties? Wow, that must really suck, huh?

Well, I guess when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right, John? I'm curious: what exactly does Huckleberry-flavor taste like, anyway?

Conservative heavyweight John Stemberger withdrew his support for GOP presidential candidate Fred Thompson today and is now backing former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee.

Huckabee, a Baptist minister, is “without question the best candidate to breathe new life and fresh hope into a nation” and has a “solid record as a champion for pro-life and pro-family values,” Stemberger said in a statement released by Huckabee’s campaign.

Stemberger, who also heads the state’s anti-gay marriage initiative petition movement, is also the president of the Florida Family Policy Counsel, associated with James Dobson’s Focus on the Family.

The Orlando lawyer carries considerable clout among conservative Christian voters in the state and will co-chair Huckabee’s Florida Faith and Family Values Coalition.

Well, John, you definitely belong in the batshit crazy fundie camp. Way to attach yourself to a sinking candidate, pal. Going from Thompson to Huckabee is like being traded from the Devil Rays to the Orioles. Sure, your record improves a little, but ultimately, you know you're still doomed.*

Well, John, at least you can take solace in the fact that you have something to fall back on ... after you're done falling forward onto your sword. Congratulations to John Stemberger, for today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!

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* I'm a lifelong Orioles fan, born in Baltimore and suffering since 1983. I know whereof I speak on this.