I'd like to buy a vowel ... and throw it at Pat Sajak

Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my mind, I think I knew before today that Pat Sajak was, at bottom, a grotesquely deranged wingnut. But his "satirical column" today finds me searching for new and different ways to say "douchebag."

A sample:

Lawyers for former Vice President Al Gore have filed numerous lawsuits against Time magazine, alleging a series of voting irregularities they maintain deprived Gore of Time’s “Person of the Year” Award. It has been announced that Russian President Vladimir Putin received the 2007 award, with Gore finishing second.

Details of the suits are sketchy, but one of them accuses certain unnamed Time employees of denying others the right to vote when it was determined they were leaning toward Gore. Rumors have surfaced that one employee, known only as “Chad”, has confirmed those rumors. Another separate suit claims the voting process to be far too complicated to be understood by, to quote the lawsuit, “a bunch of journalists.” Gore’s lawyers are calling for a recount of the ballots in question. They also demand that independent observers from the United Nations Commission on Climate Change be allowed access to any recount procedures.

I apologize. I shouldn't have done that to you. That really gives new meaning to "the opposite of 'funny.' "

But I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that I did manage to comment:

Let's see ... the wingnuts are always complaining whenever a liberal celebrity, say George Clooney, makes his or her opinions known. "What do they know about politics," crow the mouth-breathers.

Yet when Pat Sajak, a man whose "fame," such as it is, comes essentially from assisting a beautiful woman in a sequined gown to teach people how to spell, provides us with his unfunny commentary, well, that's just hilarious. Do you wingnuts realize that you essentially have become caricatures of yourselves? Desperately clawing at air as your party and ideology crash to earth and break into a million pieces, you rehash the same tired "attacks" against Bill Clinton and Al Gore and the rest of the leaders whom you secretly admire while you pleasure yourselves to pictures of Ronald Reagan.

Pat, how about you stick to game shows? 'Cause political satire definitely is NOT your strong suit.

Let's see how long that stays up ...