Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.)

This one's almost too easy.

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) (left), who has cemented his wingnut/moron reputation by warning of rampant lesbianism in public schools, espousing the health benefits of silicone breast implants, and disputing Terri Schiavo's autopsy without having examined her, says senatoring is hard work.

More importantly, though, he said regarding a tough ethics bill that just passed the Senate, he "won't run for re-election if it becomes law."

"If this becomes law, I will guarantee you I won't run again," he said in a Sunday interview on C-SPAN television. "I'm not about to put what I've work for for 35 years as a physician and a businessman at risk so I can represent the people. I will say 'I'm cashing it in. We've just imploded ourselves.' "

Coburn, whose seat won't be on the ballot until 2010, said a lawmaker could make an "innocent mistake" but still be forced to spend as much as $500,000 on a legal defense for an accusation that would be taken to a grand jury, only to be leaked.

"I will promise you, very few people in the future will run for Senate or Congress because every campaign will be about somebody making a complaint," he said.

Now, you couldn't be saying that just because, say, you might have a few skeletons in your own closet, Tom? I mean, it would be irresponsible not to speculate, right?

It's hard to believe that of Oklahoma's two senators, Coburn is the sane one (see Inhofe, James). Seriously, Tom, don't let the Senate door hit you in the ass on the way out. "Don't throw me in that briar patch!" Goddamn, is there anything else we can do to make it easier to get rid of you, Tom? Maybe charter a plane to get you out of Washington? I'd be more than willing to kick in some cash for that.

For his utter idiocy and your whiny-ass-titty-baby rant about ethics, I'm pleased to congratulate Tom Coburn ... today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!