A tax by any other name ...

When is a tax not a tax?

Well, if you're a Republican legislator in Florida, the answer is easy: when it's a fee.

Citizens all over Florida rushed to their local tax collector's offices yesterday (as in Merritt Island, left) to try to renew their driver's licenses, car registrations, and other vehicle transactions before fees for doing so rose precipitously today. In some cases, the new fees are more than double what they were until yesterday: for example, the fee for renewing your Florida driver's license has gone up from $20 to $48. (Good thing my license is valid until 2017 ...) Florida's online renewal website was overwhelmed and broke down as early as Friday; by yesterday, the site was shut down completely, and the only accessible screen simply advised would-be customers to go to their local offices.

Predictably (and understandably), Floridians are outraged about the new fees:

In Miami: "Why couldn't they wait until the recession is over?" registered nurse Carolina Gonzalez asked as she waited about an hour in Miami to renew the auto tag on her Nissan Sentra. "I mean, there's lots of people without jobs. This is the completely wrong time to do this to people."

In Jacksonville: "The State of Florida is a bunch of crooks. They announce that they are raising the renewal cost of drivers licenses by over 100 percent, then they disable their on-line or phone renewal system so you have to go in person to renew. I will be soooooo glad when I'm out of Florida, never to return again."

In Pensacola: "This is ridiculous," said B.J. Carastro, 85, while standing at the back of the long line at the W Street location. "I can't believe all these rates going up. It is incredible that they will do that to us now during a recession. It sounds like it's an abuse of the citizens."

Naturally, everyone know that the blame for this rests squarely with those crazy tax-and-spend Republicans in the state Legislature.

(Wait ... did you say "tax-and-spend Republicans?!")

See, the Republicans in Tallahassee want you to believe that they're against raising taxes and they would never, never do such a thing to all of us fine Floridians. But suddenly, when they were faced with a downtrodden economy and massive budget shortfalls, they saw the light and raised taxes on motor vehicle transactions. Or did they?

Todd Reid, staff director for the House Majority office, said Democrats were being disingenuous. The state was facing a $6 billion budget deficit, and it was better to raise the drivers license fees than take more money out of education or public safety, Reid said.

Sen. Mike Fasano, R-New Port Richey, chairman of the Transportation and Economic Development Appropriations Committee, said the fees needed to increase because they hadn't been raised in 25 years. And, he said, it's not a tax increase.

"It's important to remember that it's a privilege, not a right, to have a drivers license and a motor vehicle registration," Fasano said.

That's right: when viewed through elephant-colored glasses, it's not a tax increase. It's a fee increase. Clear difference, right? Perhaps Sen. Fasano can explain the difference to Floridians' soon-to-be-further-depleted bank accounts.

Obviously, I'm being sarcastic here: there is no difference. GOP lawmakers simply want to be able to say "we didn't raise taxes" and somehow claim they're telling the truth. As usual with Republicans, though, it's a bunch of disingenuous bullshit. Republicans are discovering that you can't run a government with no revenue, even if you want to make it small enough to drown in the bathtub. The Bush crime syndicate discovered this in recent years, when they turned the multi-million-dollar budget surplus they inherited from the Clinton Administration into record deficits (thanks in no small part to illegal, unnecessary wars).

The fact is, Republican lawmakers in Florida are doubly to blame for these massive tax ... er, fee ... increases. Not only are they trying to pull a fast one on the state, but it's their own tax cuts that led to the budgetary crisis in Florida. In short, not only are they lying to the people of Florida, but they're doing so in order to cover their own asses. And the Democratic legislators recognized this by unanimously opposing the fee increases.

Floridians have every right to be outraged at these enormous increases in fees. But let's not beat around the bush: because of their asinine decisions to slash revenue through unwise tax cuts over the last few years and their transparent, hypocritical attempts to package these latest fee hikes as something other than taxation, the Republicans in the Legislature are solely to blame. Let's hope Floridians remember that in November 2010.