Today's Daily Schadenfreude: Daunte Culpepper and Michael Vick

We get a two-for-one Daily Schadenfreude today, as two NFL quarterbacks known for being, ah, let's say controversial are facing uncertain futures.

First, right here in America's Glans™, the Miami Dolphins cut Daunte Culpepper this afternoon after a season in which the former All-Pro out of UCF was plagued by injury and just generally acting like a dick:

Culpepper said his attorneys were told by the Dolphins on Monday night that he would be released, and the veteran formally became a free agent Tuesday.

"As I was going through this process I heard about a quote by Gandhi that best expresses my thoughts about this victory: 'First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win,' " Culpepper, who serves as his own agent, said in an e-mail. "Now that I have won my freedom and I get to choose my next team, I am just like many other people who have to go out and find employment so that I can take care of my family."

[...]

The Dolphins would have owed Culpepper $5.5 million this season.

It's not known if they came close to moving him in a trade; Culpepper vowed to block any such moves, saying he wouldn't accommodate the Dolphins by agreeing to a new contract. His existing deal, which would have paid him $51.5 million through 2013, surely made it nearly impossible for Miami to find a team to trade with.

I'll pause here for a moment so you can enjoy the delicious, schadenfreude-laden irony of an overrated millionaire quarterback quoting Gandhi.

[pauses respectfully]

Next up for Culpepper: Martin Luther King, Jr., "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last."

Meanwhile, up in Atlanta, there is much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments as the Falcons' own overrated millionaire quarterback, Michael Vick, has been indicted for, essentially, also being a dick ... and more:

Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was indicted Tuesday on one felony count related to dogfighting.

Vick is charged with conspiracy to travel in interstate commerce and aid of unlawful activities and to sponsor an animal fighting venture.

The grand jury indictment charges that Vick and co-defendants Pernell Peach, Quanis Phillips and Tony Taylor spent six years "knowingly sponsoring and exhibiting in an animal fighting venture."

The grand jury also charged the men with establishing a kennel to represent dogfighting competitions, purchase and train pitbulls in dogfighting competitions and "destroying or otherwise disposing of dogs not selected to stay with the ongoing animal fighting venture."

For my money, the most shocking revelation from the actual indictment (PDF) is that Vick's nickname is "Ookie."

But seriously, the allegations in the indictment are appalling: as recently as April of this year, Vick and his three co-defendants were fighting dogs and killing those that did not perform well. While there are no specific allegations that Vick himself ever killed a dog, he almost certainly was present at many of the killings (not to mention the fights), and the sheer cruelty of the methods of killing (one dog was soaked with water and electrocuted, while others were shot, beaten to death, or drowned) suggests that ol' Number 7 is going to have a lot of problems even if he's not convicted.

I'll tell you one thing: if he's playing in Tampa on December 16, I'll be there, and along with 65,000 of my closest friends, Mr. Vick will hear what we think of him.

So, a Dolphins QB released and a Falcons QB on his way to trial. All in all, a good day for this Buccaneers fan. Congratulations, Daunte and Michael -- today's Blast Off! Daily Schadenfreude is for you!